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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, DH, the white lie and pettiness

147 replies

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

OP posts:
dreammattemousse · 14/08/2022 17:16

Is this a reverse?

TheDuck2018 · 14/08/2022 17:18

I've seen some ridiculous stuff posted on here over the years and this fits in really well ....

Darbs76 · 14/08/2022 17:18

Erm how was he meant to know you booked a restaurant?

Sparklfairy · 14/08/2022 17:18

I am raging

Bit extreme Confused You managed to change the booking, what's the big deal?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:18

Darbs76 · 14/08/2022 17:18

Erm how was he meant to know you booked a restaurant?

Because I told him

Why would that be in question

Ffs some on here are wild

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 14/08/2022 17:19

I don't know why you'd book a restaurant when you knew he'd be helping a friend move? These things can always run a lot later than people planned.

You have managed to move the reservation back so there really is no issue at all. Why make a big deal out of it?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:19

Sparklfairy · 14/08/2022 17:18

I am raging

Bit extreme Confused You managed to change the booking, what's the big deal?

It's the principle

He didn't know I'd be able to change the booking

Tbh slight drip feed he is always late, i usually have to tell him an event is 30 mins before it actually is to be safe

Not sure why I didn't do that today but I'll blame the heat

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 17:20

How old are your tiny children that you’re having dinner at 6pm?

Astitichintimesaveswine · 14/08/2022 17:20
Biscuit
Loics · 14/08/2022 17:20

YABU, the insignificant drip feed doesn't really change that.

MakeadealwithGod · 14/08/2022 17:21

Your reaction is a bit over the top when he has just been helping out a friend.

sunlight81 · 14/08/2022 17:21

If he's always late, then what did you expect?

I would have told him the reservation was 6pm but actually made it for 7.

As someone who is always late myself no matter how hard I try I sympathise with the DH

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:21

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 17:20

How old are your tiny children that you’re having dinner at 6pm?

The kids are out today, Mum is dropping them off at bed time (win!)

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:23

MakeadealwithGod · 14/08/2022 17:21

Your reaction is a bit over the top when he has just been helping out a friend.

Is it, when someone tells you they will be home at 3/4, which was the entire reason you green lit the helping in the first place and they then come home 3 hours late.

Not seen him much this whole weekend, no kids today so wanted a nice bit of time together and a meal.

Sue me

OP posts:
Loics · 14/08/2022 17:25

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:23

Is it, when someone tells you they will be home at 3/4, which was the entire reason you green lit the helping in the first place and they then come home 3 hours late.

Not seen him much this whole weekend, no kids today so wanted a nice bit of time together and a meal.

Sue me

Show quote history

You "green lit" it? Jeez. I don't think my DP would even try to approve what I was doing, nor I, vice versa. Poor guy.

LimeTwists · 14/08/2022 17:25

To lie and pretend you are upset to get gifts and sex is massively unpleasant and manipulative. You booked a restaurant as if he was merely attending a fixed-length appointment and are now annoyed that a house move didn’t run to your imposed schedule. Not sure what sort of favourable response you’re hoping for here.

Longtimeposternc · 14/08/2022 17:25

I would be annoyed by this

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:25

have you been at the wine?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:26

Astitichintimesaveswine · 14/08/2022 17:20

Biscuit

Why thank you

This will sustain me the extra 45 mins!

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 17:26

You sound like a total loon tbh I feel sorry for your husband.

ILoveYoga · 14/08/2022 17:26

YABU. You know he’s always late so you should already have a mechanism in place to ensure you get places with him in a timely manner. So go be raving with him I’d unreasonable, especially as he’s been out helping a friend move on a really hot day. Why cause stress and problems when there is no need?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:27

@Loics

Considering we get very little child free time atm and he was out all day yesterday yes he asked if it was ok to go and help today.

As that means not seeing me during a rare child free weekend for 90% of the time

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:27

Is it, when someone tells you they will be home at 3/4, which was the entire reason you green lit the helping in the first place and they then come home 3 hours late

what? You green lit it? If you’d not mentioned sex I’d think you meant your child. You need to give him permission to help his friend?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:27

LimeTwists · 14/08/2022 17:25

To lie and pretend you are upset to get gifts and sex is massively unpleasant and manipulative. You booked a restaurant as if he was merely attending a fixed-length appointment and are now annoyed that a house move didn’t run to your imposed schedule. Not sure what sort of favourable response you’re hoping for here.

Oh do lighten up

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:27

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:25

have you been at the wine?

I wish!

Am 24 weeks pregnant, fucking starving and hot

I'd kill for a wine but can't Blush

OP posts: