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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, DH, the white lie and pettiness

147 replies

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

OP posts:
Cherchezlaspice · 14/08/2022 18:14

girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 18:09

How is having separate finances confusing?

Show quote history

With your husband and father of your DC? Who you’re sharing your life with and with whom you are legally jointly liable for pretty much everything financial? Why?

In instances where there are no DC, fine. However, in instances where there are, 99% of the time, it’s women taking the financial and career hit. That anyone would do that without joint finances is…not a great idea imo.

But, I suppose OP didn’t ask for my financial or relationship advice. I’ll mind my own beeswax.

Just1moreq · 14/08/2022 18:15

On the basis of the 1st post I think you're right to be miffed.
You've made a plan based on his timings then he changes them.
I also don't see a problem with him checking with op about helping his mate. They are married. Dont you normally check with a partner, especially when you have a wwwkend free from your normal responsibility?

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 14/08/2022 18:16

When I moved my mate said she would have the dc for a few hours.. Ended up she kept them for tea and brought them to the new house at 8 pm! These things always take longer than expected ime!

MoveBitch · 14/08/2022 18:30

It seems manipulative and controlling are the new MN buzzwords, replacing LTB and "getting your sucks

MoveBitch · 14/08/2022 18:31

"getting your ducks in a row" that should end 🙄

AppleBottomRats · 14/08/2022 18:32

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:06

@Cherchezlaspice

Ahh, gotcha was starting to worry my entire evening routines were out of whack!

I think at a push I could last till 7 but I wouldn't try for fun.

How come you can only last a few hours between lunch and dinner but much longer between dinner and bed/breakfast?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:32

MoveBitch · 14/08/2022 18:31

"getting your ducks in a row" that should end 🙄

The original made me chuckle

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:32

@AppleBottomRats

That's where pudding comes into play

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 18:35

MoveBitch · 14/08/2022 18:30

It seems manipulative and controlling are the new MN buzzwords, replacing LTB and "getting your sucks

I think the DH is in trouble and shall not be getting his sucks tonight

BadNomad · 14/08/2022 18:37

Will you be sharing the treats or eating them in front of him?

Cosycover · 14/08/2022 18:39

We eat at 5.30 every day. Didn't think that was weird at all considering bedtime is 7pm?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:44

BadNomad · 14/08/2022 18:37

Will you be sharing the treats or eating them in front of him?

Oh I'll be eating them one by one in front of him!

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:48

Cosycover · 14/08/2022 18:39

We eat at 5.30 every day. Didn't think that was weird at all considering bedtime is 7pm?

Exactly!

OP posts:
Cherchezlaspice · 14/08/2022 18:50

Cosycover · 14/08/2022 18:39

We eat at 5.30 every day. Didn't think that was weird at all considering bedtime is 7pm?

I’ve started a whole new thread about this. It’s fascinating. 😂

From the current responses, it sounds like the early (to me) dinners might be a Northern thing, but it’s early days yet. Who knows what we shall learn about each other’s dining habits? 😁

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/08/2022 18:54

I thought you were being unreasonable OP but the answers you are giving to all the posts are utterly hilarious and brilliant I think you're great Grin

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 18:56

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 14/08/2022 18:54

I thought you were being unreasonable OP but the answers you are giving to all the posts are utterly hilarious and brilliant I think you're great Grin

At least there is two of us!

OP posts:
luckylavender · 14/08/2022 19:08

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

Strange thing to be raging about

Scepticalwotsits · 14/08/2022 19:15

its it annoying he is late and didnt check with you that the reservation can be put back, absolutly.

However being moody for gifts and sex is just pure manipulation. Also if you are eating out why would you ruin that by being a mard arse the whole time you are there

Katesboy8 · 14/08/2022 19:18

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

You didn’t want him to help his friend, you booked the table to make sure he had to be back by 6 and now you’re being petty as he hasn’t done as he was ‘told’! You sound annoying!

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 19:21

@Katesboy8

I was fine him helping his friend

You're an odd ball

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 19:22

Scepticalwotsits · 14/08/2022 19:15

its it annoying he is late and didnt check with you that the reservation can be put back, absolutly.

However being moody for gifts and sex is just pure manipulation. Also if you are eating out why would you ruin that by being a mard arse the whole time you are there

Who said I would be an arse at the meal

Am happily chomping down on my gammon!

AIBU, DH, the white lie and pettiness
OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 14/08/2022 19:31

How long until MNHQ reveal they have ‘concerns’ about the OP?

girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 19:33

I'm disappointed you waited an hour and a half and chose gammon! And where serves 3 eggs with gammon please 🤣

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 19:35

This is the child-free, booked-a-table special dinner you were raging about being late for…?

GoAround · 14/08/2022 19:37

Nah that’s got to be a wind up now. No one would pay for that ‘meal’ 😂