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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, DH, the white lie and pettiness

147 replies

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 17:37

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:31

You don't seem to understand the concept of a light hearted comment

It's Sunday night

Let loose

Show quote history

Sorry its quite hard for me to tell the difference by what's real and weird or light hearted and weird.

KyaClark · 14/08/2022 17:37

Well, this is going well...

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:37

ManateeFair · 14/08/2022 17:35

You ‘green lit’ your husband doing a favour for a mate? Does he always have to ask permission to do basic stuff? Do you always call him to tell when to eat his lunch? Why is it actually a problem just to change the booking if he’s going to be a bit later than expected? It’s not like he would have known exactly how long it would take to get the job done with his friend.

Your reaction is wildly excessive and you sound incredibly overbearing and difficult.

When that favour takes up half our first child free weekend in 4 years yes he checked

Especially since he was already out all day yesterday which was planned ages ago and was for work so that one can slide

I said fine as long as you're not home late so we can get time together

He said is 3/4 ok

I said of course honey

OP posts:
thefirstmrsrochester · 14/08/2022 17:37

LimeTwists · 14/08/2022 17:25

To lie and pretend you are upset to get gifts and sex is massively unpleasant and manipulative. You booked a restaurant as if he was merely attending a fixed-length appointment and are now annoyed that a house move didn’t run to your imposed schedule. Not sure what sort of favourable response you’re hoping for here.

This 👆

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:38

Thunderpunt · 14/08/2022 17:35

Fuck me the heat has got to some on here, OP I'm with you - I'd be pissed off so I'd definite dine out on it in the way suggested, plus order the most experienced bottle of wine when you get there! YANBU

Thank you!!

Starting to wonder if my hunger had got so bad I'd entered a 4th dimension

OP posts:
ThirtyThreeTrees · 14/08/2022 17:39

You sound very highly strung over a 45 minute delay!

And a delay which had a workable solution at that. You are still going to dinner, 45 mins isn't going to have a significant impact.

The fact you "green lit" him helping his friend sounds again dramatic but also kind of controlling. He shouldn't need your permission for everything and you should know that sometimes unexpected delays happen.

If you don't relax, you won't enjoy your meal out.
Take it easy, it's minor.

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:39

You always gp out for dinner at 5? I’m guessing you’re a big fan of the early bird special. 😂

lunar1 · 14/08/2022 17:39

It sounds incredibly controlling under the guise of being helpful.

You gave him permission to go. You booked a meal for a time where there isn't much wriggle room given the distance. You checked in for gossip shortly before he would have been done for the day.

I'd be late too.

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:42

Im so curious now, if you have always eaten at 5 have you never worked a day shift in your puff?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:42

ThirtyThreeTrees · 14/08/2022 17:39

You sound very highly strung over a 45 minute delay!

And a delay which had a workable solution at that. You are still going to dinner, 45 mins isn't going to have a significant impact.

The fact you "green lit" him helping his friend sounds again dramatic but also kind of controlling. He shouldn't need your permission for everything and you should know that sometimes unexpected delays happen.

If you don't relax, you won't enjoy your meal out.
Take it easy, it's minor.

Oh I'll relax and enjoy my dinner

The concept of this post is whether to pretend to be annoyed see.

I'm not actually all that fussed now I managed to move the booking (lord help him if I hadn't, I'd have resorted to eating him as an alternative)

OP posts:
category12 · 14/08/2022 17:42

So helping someone move took longer than expected - big surprise there.

And you want to kick off about it?

You're hot, you're pregnant, you're stroppy, but don't give him a hard time - it's not like he's been larking about, down the pub drinking all day or golfing or something, he's been helping someone out in really hot weather.

FloydPepper · 14/08/2022 17:43

A lovely combination of controlling and manipulative. Nice

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:43

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:39

You always gp out for dinner at 5? I’m guessing you’re a big fan of the early bird special. 😂

As of my life until last year yeah!

That's when I had dinner at home

When my parents have dinner now

When all my friends have dinner

It's only recent we moved to 18:00 - and that was only to facilitate clubs Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:44

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:42

Im so curious now, if you have always eaten at 5 have you never worked a day shift in your puff?

Never worked shifts in my life

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:44

category12 · 14/08/2022 17:42

So helping someone move took longer than expected - big surprise there.

And you want to kick off about it?

You're hot, you're pregnant, you're stroppy, but don't give him a hard time - it's not like he's been larking about, down the pub drinking all day or golfing or something, he's been helping someone out in really hot weather.

Kick off is a bit strong

More act a bit huffy until he repents

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:44

When all my friends have dinner

what? You have no friends who work during rhe day you all eat dinner at five?

AppleBottomRats · 14/08/2022 17:45

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:43

As of my life until last year yeah!

That's when I had dinner at home

When my parents have dinner now

When all my friends have dinner

It's only recent we moved to 18:00 - and that was only to facilitate clubs Blush

Show quote history

No one you know works past about 4pm? That’s weird.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:45

FloydPepper · 14/08/2022 17:43

A lovely combination of controlling and manipulative. Nice

Why thank you

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:45

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:44

Never worked shifts in my life

Show quote history

You’ve ever worked nine to five, never ever had a job and none of your friends have either, Inc your husband and evrytone you know eats at five?

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 17:45

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:43

As of my life until last year yeah!

That's when I had dinner at home

When my parents have dinner now

When all my friends have dinner

It's only recent we moved to 18:00 - and that was only to facilitate clubs Blush

Show quote history

Are you my MIL? Is that you, Janet?

FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 17:45

The concept of this post is whether to pretend to be annoyed see.

Yes, you would be unreasonable to “pretend” to be annoyed. Just seems a bit weird.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:47

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:44

When all my friends have dinner

what? You have no friends who work during rhe day you all eat dinner at five?

Most work in the day

But WFH and did so before covid

Some eat at half 5 if they finish at 5 but you get my point

OP posts:
StreetwiseHercules · 14/08/2022 17:47

Scary stuff.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:49

@Anniefrenchfry

My roles have always been 8-4, not sure if it's luck or what

My dad worked shifts and was back for 2/3

Mum worked part time 10-2 to do school pick up

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:49

This is getting odder and odder. And in a disturbing way not a funny one