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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, DH, the white lie and pettiness

147 replies

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:14

So today DH has been out helping a friend move

This was planned, but I was told he would be home by 3/4 as he left early to get started in the morning.

To be a nice wife I then book us in for a meal at 18:00 as he will have been working hard all day and you know, I also like other people cooking for me (not selfless)

At 15:15 I called to check how everything was going, see if there was any gossip he'd be bringing back and to make sure he had eaten lunch (he is one of those people who can last all day without eating as he 'forgets' and tbh in this heat I was worried)

He was just finishing said lunch and told me he would be leaving in a minute.

It's now 17:00 and he has just left the town his friend is in. It will take him at least 45 mins to an hour to get home.

Thus making us late for dinner (as it's a 25 min drive to the restaurant)

I am raging

So onto my AIBU as I hope no one would say I'm unreasonable for being pissed off at the above.

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:28

As that means not seeing me during a rare child free weekend for 90% of the time

no idea why that would seem a good idea to him. 🤣

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 17:28

He is being, but arguably so are you - if he has form for being late and no one ever knows how long these diy things take, another night might have been more sensible - or just not booked it incredibly early?

Anyway it sounds like it all worked out fine.

Loics · 14/08/2022 17:28

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:28

As that means not seeing me during a rare child free weekend for 90% of the time

no idea why that would seem a good idea to him. 🤣

You said what I was thinking. 😂

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:28

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:27

Is it, when someone tells you they will be home at 3/4, which was the entire reason you green lit the helping in the first place and they then come home 3 hours late

what? You green lit it? If you’d not mentioned sex I’d think you meant your child. You need to give him permission to help his friend?

Not permission

But since he was out all day yesterday

This is a rare child free weekend

Yes, he asked if he could help out the second day of a 2 day child free weekend

I said yes if he was home earlier as then we could actually spend some time together

OP posts:
Chilesstanton · 14/08/2022 17:29

Is it any wonder he isn’t rushing home? Confused

Nugg · 14/08/2022 17:29

Is he ate lunch @1500 will he want dinner @1845?! I wouldn't.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:30

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 17:28

He is being, but arguably so are you - if he has form for being late and no one ever knows how long these diy things take, another night might have been more sensible - or just not booked it incredibly early?

Anyway it sounds like it all worked out fine.

Is 18:00 early?

We've pushed it back a year ago from 17:00 for tea

And that was a struggle

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:30

Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 17:28

As that means not seeing me during a rare child free weekend for 90% of the time

no idea why that would seem a good idea to him. 🤣

Aha

Tbh I do already have one pastry based treat coming but that was purchased before he pissed me off so it doesn't count Grin

OP posts:
Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 17:30

Also the fact you have to manipulate him to get sex is pretty odd/intriguing... Most men jump at the chance for sex.

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 17:31

I’m impressed you have a DH who can do a house move all day, a drive home then out again, dinner out, and make-up sex, in a heatwave. Maybe he’s late because he fancies a nice quiet sit down.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:31

Nugg · 14/08/2022 17:29

Is he ate lunch @1500 will he want dinner @1845?! I wouldn't.

My point entirely at the time

We shall see if he makes it past starters when he finally turns up!

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 14/08/2022 17:31

Anything that gets you some ‘superior’ sex is a winner I reckon op, go for it, lol

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:31

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 17:30

Also the fact you have to manipulate him to get sex is pretty odd/intriguing... Most men jump at the chance for sex.

You don't seem to understand the concept of a light hearted comment

It's Sunday night

Let loose

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 14/08/2022 17:32

Same old same old:

OP: MN, AIBU?

MN: YES!

OP: No I'm not. Also "Sue me".

Plus extra added drip feed of "He's always late" & "I'm pregnant".

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:32

stuntbubbles · 14/08/2022 17:31

I’m impressed you have a DH who can do a house move all day, a drive home then out again, dinner out, and make-up sex, in a heatwave. Maybe he’s late because he fancies a nice quiet sit down.

Oh god the sex wouldn't be tonight

No fucking way

Too hot for that!!

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 17:32

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

You’re being unreasonable OP. & quite weird.

This meal out was very spontaneous. It’s not like it’s a special occasion and he’s had a couple of weeks notice.

He’s helping a friend move house. That’s a really big job. No one can say for certain what the time limit is.

You’re booking has been pushed back 45 minutes. It’s not a big deal at all. It’s just a meal. No one will die. If you’re starving then have a small snack to keep you going.

GoAround · 14/08/2022 17:33

Ok so he’s always shit with timekeeping. Not minimising that, because it is really annoying, but by booking a restaurant for an early dinner when you know he has a thing on in the day you surely can’t be surprised when low and behold he’s running late (again). If you’ve had enough and I wouldn’t blame you, then address the issue with him properly. Or you could just get on an enjoy your slightly later than planned dinner! But it sounds a bit like you’re just spoiling for a fight…

AppleBottomRats · 14/08/2022 17:33

Er yes YABU. And why are you eating so early like children if you don’t even have the children with you?

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:34

FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 17:32

I have called the restaurant and changed the booking to 18:45. WIBU to still act as if the booking was for 18:00 and to dine out on my pissed offness all evening so he makes it up to me via gifts and/or superior sex?

You’re being unreasonable OP. & quite weird.

This meal out was very spontaneous. It’s not like it’s a special occasion and he’s had a couple of weeks notice.

He’s helping a friend move house. That’s a really big job. No one can say for certain what the time limit is.

You’re booking has been pushed back 45 minutes. It’s not a big deal at all. It’s just a meal. No one will die. If you’re starving then have a small snack to keep you going.

You need a couple of weeks notice for a meal out?

When you had already agreed to be home 2 whole hours before this time

And was told about the meal booking at 11:00

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 14/08/2022 17:35

You ‘green lit’ your husband doing a favour for a mate? Does he always have to ask permission to do basic stuff? Do you always call him to tell when to eat his lunch? Why is it actually a problem just to change the booking if he’s going to be a bit later than expected? It’s not like he would have known exactly how long it would take to get the job done with his friend.

Your reaction is wildly excessive and you sound incredibly overbearing and difficult.

Original poster
PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:35

AppleBottomRats · 14/08/2022 17:33

Er yes YABU. And why are you eating so early like children if you don’t even have the children with you?

This baffles me

I've always eaten dinner at 17:00 even before kids

We pushed it last year to 18:00 due to clubs and that was a challenge!

OP posts:
Thunderpunt · 14/08/2022 17:35

Fuck me the heat has got to some on here, OP I'm with you - I'd be pissed off so I'd definite dine out on it in the way suggested, plus order the most experienced bottle of wine when you get there! YANBU

Tlolljs · 14/08/2022 17:36

Well I’d be pissed off. A rare child free weekend and he’s been out both days. Strike one. Now he’s three nearly four hours late. Strike two. Plus pregnant plus hot plus hungry. Yanbu

Thunderpunt · 14/08/2022 17:36

Experienced bottle of wine WTF - expensive obvs

FlissyPaps · 14/08/2022 17:37

PollyRockets · 14/08/2022 17:34

You need a couple of weeks notice for a meal out?

When you had already agreed to be home 2 whole hours before this time

And was told about the meal booking at 11:00

Show quote history

Yes, if it’s a special occasion. A couple of weeks notice so you don’t arrange other plans.

What I’m saying is your meal isn’t a special occasion. It was very spontaneous. So YABU to manipulate your DH when you already know he’s doing a big favour today. You know a house move, that no one really knows how long it’s going to take…..