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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner wants me to pay for his car when he’s working full time

110 replies

PinkBump2022 · 14/08/2022 14:19

So me and my partner both work. I have my own business and we use universal credit to top up. Before my partner went back to work after being on the sick we were just on universal credit and my business was just starting. We used the universal credit to pay for his car and I have always used my money to pay for my own car. We live together and have a child and another one due very soon. So now my partner is back at work full time earning £850 a week, he still wants me to use the universal credit to pay for his car, this goes in my bank to top up my wages and Iv been using it for our child’s needs, food, and buying baby things. So now after giving him the money for his car (£420 a month finance) and £170 insurance, it’s joint insurance and it’s high because he got points for speeding twice in 1 year. I’m left with not enough to buy the bouncy chair, swing, or crib. However he’s got two accounts with a fair amount in each.

am I wrong for saying He should be paying for his car now he’s earning more than enough! We do drive each other’s cars and are on each other’s insurance. But I pay my own car and own insurance I’d never ask him to pay my insurance even though he drives my car all of the time, and I pay my own fiancé which is not even half of what his is! He knows we need this baby things and hasn’t even offered to buy anything and he knows our child still needs uniform and hasn’t offered to buy these either, even when I said oh I don’t get paid again until a week before he goes to school and that’s leaving it a little late to get the rest of the uniform as it may be sold out then.
i don’t know if I’m just super hormonal or if he’s just being very greedy with his money!

OP posts:
Itsokay2020 · 14/08/2022 15:30

Assuming this is not a wind-up, this is the reason why in my other thread I stated that UC needs to be reviewed.

IF this is true, this is disgusting! Claiming UC and using it to pay for car finance at an eye watering amount each month, plus car insurance at that rate, jeez and we wonder why we’re in the mess we are in.

Are your children are also eligible for FSM? Another benefit which needs an overhaul as a child remains eligible for the remainder of that phase of education when the claim was made (which could be several years and amounts to £487.50 during term time, plus the current payments during school holidays!) rather than being means tested on a much more frequent basis (termly would be preferable, yearly if necessary, in my opinion!).

I hope this is a wind-up!!

Crumpleton · 14/08/2022 15:30

By the sounds of it he's shafting money out of you in the same way you are the tax payer by still claiming UC while both bring in a decent wage.

Nothappyatwork · 14/08/2022 15:33

@Weemummykay just so that you know for fraud purposes you don’t have to live together to be considered a couple and everything you have described there means that you should be putting in a joint claim. I’d be getting onto that on Monday if I was you because if they are sat outside your house watching your screwed.

missverstaendnis · 14/08/2022 15:35

I work full time and need UC as a top up, guess what - I can't afford a car just for the running costs let alone a flashy one on finance. What an absolute pisstake

Weemummykay · 14/08/2022 15:36

@GrazingSheep not at all. We genuinely do not live together. We did try it a few years bk but it just didn’t work out. We were constantly at each other all the time over stupid stuff I ended up moving back out in to my own place. I would rather I wasn’t needing to rely on UC for top up but luckily I won’t need to when I get bk to work as I will be getting a full wage again.

SummerNightsDriftingAway · 14/08/2022 15:39

girlmom21 · 14/08/2022 14:22

If he'd earning £850 a week you shouldn't be entitled to universal credit.

If you're claiming benefits and spending £420 a month on car finance you're taking the absolute piss.

This, in spades.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 14/08/2022 15:46

Weemummykay · 14/08/2022 15:36

@GrazingSheep not at all. We genuinely do not live together. We did try it a few years bk but it just didn’t work out. We were constantly at each other all the time over stupid stuff I ended up moving back out in to my own place. I would rather I wasn’t needing to rely on UC for top up but luckily I won’t need to when I get bk to work as I will be getting a full wage again.

Dwp won't see it that way and will likely say you are committing fraud if they find out. God luck to you if they do.

Louise0701 · 14/08/2022 15:48

Why get pregnant to him again if you’re not compatible?

Crankley · 14/08/2022 15:48

I've often wondered. If the benefits people were to read a thread on here by someone admitting benefit fraud - do they have any sort of legal power to force MN to hand over the real life information of those posters in which they have an interest?

Nothappyatwork I think they do check on people. I'm physically disabled and applied for DLA. Not long after, I would occasionally see a car parked outside my house with a woman sat in it. I rarely go out but on one particular day my friend came in a taxi to collect me. Car and women were there and as I hobbled down the path with my walking frame the woman wrote something on a pad. I never saw her or the car again but a few days later I got my DLA.

Weemummykay · 14/08/2022 16:01

@Nothappyatwork i had to go in to job centre when I was 6months pregnant and told the lady I had the review with about or situation and she never said anything about having to do a joint claim but I will look in to this further.

and for everyone else sticking their 2p in oh isn’t on benefits. Has his own house, pays his rent n own bills. He basically pays his own food I jst cook it so he has enough time to spend with the kids before they go to bed

WhoAre · 14/08/2022 16:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd · 14/08/2022 16:07

He basically pays his own food I jst cook it so he has enough time to spend with the kids before they go to bed

TBF, that’s not quite what you said originally. It sounded like all the shopping was mixed in.

Seriously be careful, though. In your mind the boundary might be clear, but if DWP look at whether you have a partner they will look at a while range of aspects and him being there every night plus the weekends is likely to go against you. You might want to cut that back. Similarly, if he’s buying his own dinner to be cooked at your house, make him stick to that and buy it himself.

Blackdiame · 14/08/2022 16:18

Crankley · 14/08/2022 15:48

I've often wondered. If the benefits people were to read a thread on here by someone admitting benefit fraud - do they have any sort of legal power to force MN to hand over the real life information of those posters in which they have an interest?

Nothappyatwork I think they do check on people. I'm physically disabled and applied for DLA. Not long after, I would occasionally see a car parked outside my house with a woman sat in it. I rarely go out but on one particular day my friend came in a taxi to collect me. Car and women were there and as I hobbled down the path with my walking frame the woman wrote something on a pad. I never saw her or the car again but a few days later I got my DLA.

What real life information? You can give any old throw away email to sign up to mumsnet.

1WomanWonder · 14/08/2022 16:31

This is the OP that was hoping to see Lucy Lucky men in Mexico and nearly got ran over on a pedestrian crossing by a Spanish man in USA.

bluberries · 14/08/2022 16:35

Does your partner live with you?

I think the benefits are for you not his bloody car.

fedupathome · 14/08/2022 16:38

@1WomanWonder 😂
I saw that thread!
It's also not clear if OP has a Dd or Ds as she mentioned both , but the OP only references 1 child on this thread.

RealBecca · 14/08/2022 16:43

Obviously as a woman you are just hormonal. 🙄

Weemummykay · 14/08/2022 16:43

@HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd he literally is only here for about 2hrs at nyt. Come straight from work, I usually make his dinner for him coming in then does bath n bed with our older son or keeps the younger one occupied while I do it. The gym he goes to is jst round the corner from my house so he goes there jst after 7 for an hour or so then comes back to give the wee one his last feed then goes bk home after that. Like I said previously tho the lady at the job centre knew of this and didny say anything about needing to do a joint claim so I will be looking in to this

Topgub · 14/08/2022 16:44

If you can afford 1 car at 600 quid a month never mind 2 cars you shouldn't be getting UC

ghostyslovesheets · 14/08/2022 16:57

1WomanWonder · 14/08/2022 16:31

This is the OP that was hoping to see Lucy Lucky men in Mexico and nearly got ran over on a pedestrian crossing by a Spanish man in USA.

Or thinks Mexico IS the USA!

went for four days and purchased some Tramidol along the way

like those threads she’s unlikely to return to this one

bit of a wind up me thinks

1WomanWonder · 14/08/2022 17:15

@fedupathome
Son was 6 in May with the diagnosis but 5 in June at the theme park. There is a 12 year old son with the electrocution and an almost 13 year old daughter with the dog bite in July and a (different?) dd that was already 13 in June with the friend with the horrific situation.

I am not sure if they were all on the pedestrian crossing in Mexico/USA at the same time.

sst1234 · 14/08/2022 17:18

No wonder the public finances are in such a state. Is welfare is being handed out like this.

sst1234 · 14/08/2022 17:19

ghostyslovesheets · 14/08/2022 16:57

Or thinks Mexico IS the USA!

went for four days and purchased some Tramidol along the way

like those threads she’s unlikely to return to this one

bit of a wind up me thinks

Show quote history

These idiotic wind ups are getting really elaborate nowadays.

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 14/08/2022 17:21

Weemummykay · 14/08/2022 16:43

@HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd he literally is only here for about 2hrs at nyt. Come straight from work, I usually make his dinner for him coming in then does bath n bed with our older son or keeps the younger one occupied while I do it. The gym he goes to is jst round the corner from my house so he goes there jst after 7 for an hour or so then comes back to give the wee one his last feed then goes bk home after that. Like I said previously tho the lady at the job centre knew of this and didny say anything about needing to do a joint claim so I will be looking in to this

The standard of men that women will create children with just keeps getting lower and lower.

Loics · 14/08/2022 17:24

I wouldn't get too annoyed about this thread MNers, I think the OP has gone, um, back under her bridge. 🤭

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