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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is wrong and this can't be classed as stealing?

331 replies

Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:06

Whenever I order a home delivery from Tesco I always get a refund on stuff that they have substituted in exchange for what I originally ordered to get money back and to keep the food, sometimes when I genuinely dislike their substitute choice or sometimes when I just want some money back.

My friend said "that is what is known as stealing". I replied "HOW can it be stealing when I call up and ask for a refund and it's at their discretion if they give one or not?" Also, I used to work in a few call centres and so probably speak to people who work at call centres politer than most other people, so that might factor their decision to give me refunds.

Unless someone tells me that they work for Tesco on the call centres and they are obliged to give everyone a refund that asks for one but they will later be punished or sacked for it if they say yes, then I can't see what the issue is if they say yes? I don't shout, or threaten or rant. I ask nicely and they say yes. If they were to ever say no, I'd simply say "okay then" and that would be that. So how is it stealing?

I just can't believe in this day and age someone would begrudge someone free food. Their tagline is "Every Little Helps". This is helping me. If they didn't want to help, they can easily say no. Or AIBU and out of touch?

OP posts:
Harridan1981 · 14/08/2022 11:09

Well it is as you could hand it back to the driver surely? Deliberately not doing so and then asking for cash back is devious.

Crunchymum · 14/08/2022 11:09

So you get refunded the whole amount of the substituted item and keep the item?

Something isn't working there if the system / call handler is allowing you to do it and yes its bordering cheeky fuckery territory.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 14/08/2022 11:09

On the occasions that you’re doing it just to get free money, your friend has a point.

Peashoots · 14/08/2022 11:09

Getting a refund on incorrect items is fine, it’s their mistake so why should you pay?
Pretending you don’t like substitutions just to get some money back is ridiculous 🙄 of course it’s morally not right, I don’t really understand how you can justify this. I couldn’t get worked up over it with a company as big as Tesco, but pack it in pretending that they encourage this behaviour with their slogan 🙄

GiltEdges · 14/08/2022 11:10

I’m surprised Tesco are happy for you to do this on a regular basis. On the basis that they are, then it’s their problem, not yours. It is, however, immoral and could result in questions for the delivery driver, who’s expected to ask you if you’re happy with the substitutions, or take them back.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 14/08/2022 11:10

If I don't want an item I have to hand it back to the driver - how are you being allowed to keep stuff?

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 14/08/2022 11:11

Whilst not theft, you are indeed a CF for doing this.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 14/08/2022 11:12

Yeah you re being a dick, most normal people hand back substitutions to the driver, not keep it and ask for a refund 🤦‍♀️

Winterfellismyhome · 14/08/2022 11:12

I usually just hand the things i dont want back to the driver. Are you phoning up after accepting the delivery and then getting a refund?

Fimofriend · 14/08/2022 11:14

If their substitutes were actually close to the original item maybe your friend's point of view could have some merit, but as they are usually very different from the original item, I'd say no. And it can never be classed as stealing. It is not the customers' problem that Tesco is slow to mark items as sold out.

( I once ordered 3 non-organic semi skinned milk 2,272 Litres/4 pints and received 3 organic semi skinned 1 litres. So they delivered 3,816 Litres less than I ordered. But hey ho it was still more expensive than my original order)

SummerSazz · 14/08/2022 11:14

Can't you just opt for 'no substitutes when you order? Or hand them back if you don't like them?

Requesting refunds and keeping the items on a regular basis is just wrong.

Original poster
Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:15

GiltEdges · 14/08/2022 11:10

I’m surprised Tesco are happy for you to do this on a regular basis. On the basis that they are, then it’s their problem, not yours. It is, however, immoral and could result in questions for the delivery driver, who’s expected to ask you if you’re happy with the substitutions, or take them back.

I've never once been asked if I'm happy with substitutions by any driver. They don't even stick around long enough for me to throw my stuff from the delivery boxes to my table - even have to chase them sometimes to get them to take the boxes/trays back with them because they've already made their way to leave - not blaming them in the slightest as they have a lot of deliveries and are under pressure timewise. If anyone does confirm though that delivery drivers may lose their job or get penalised from me doing this I would consider stopping doing it.

OP posts:
Foxgluv · 14/08/2022 11:15

sometimes when I just want some money back.
Do you return these items?

I just can't believe in this day and age someone would begrudge someone free food. Their tagline is "Every Little Helps".
Is this real? They're offering a service. You choose to purchase or not.

Original poster
Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:18

Winterfellismyhome · 14/08/2022 11:12

I usually just hand the things i dont want back to the driver. Are you phoning up after accepting the delivery and then getting a refund?

Yes, which is why I don't class it as stealing, as they can easily say no and I would have to accept that - well, what else could I do? But they are the ones that say yes. So how is it stealing, is my point.

OP posts:
sunsetsandsandybeaches · 14/08/2022 11:20

If Tesco are saying it's fine then legally speaking it might not be theft, but morally I do think it's a bit dodgy.

BlueKaftan · 14/08/2022 11:21

Your moral compass needs tweaking.

TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 11:21

Yes, which is why I don't class it as stealing, as they can easily say no and I would have to accept that - well, what else could I do? But they are the ones that say yes. So how is it stealing, is my point.

It's deception and you know it. You're pretending you don't like the item so you can get the money and keep the item. You even said this in your OP.

Seems like you can't be honest with Tesco or yourself.

Silverfinch · 14/08/2022 11:21

Every single delivery I've ever had, Tescos or otherwise, they ask if I'm happy with any substitutions. You get an email beforehand detailing them too, and you hand things back if you don't want them!

TyneTeas · 14/08/2022 11:22

There will come a point they will probably not tolerate this anymore

www.theguardian.com/money/2022/aug/13/amazon-waitrose-customer-banned-complaints-returning-too-much

pepperminttaste · 14/08/2022 11:22

When you're on the phone do you state that you just want some money back and suggest that in this day and age they shouldn't begrudge you free food?

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 14/08/2022 11:22

I delivered for Ocado for over three years. You would be informed of substitutions in advance. You would then be asked at the door if you want the substitution

If you decided to take the substitution that's your choice. I think to take the item and then ring Tesco and ask for a refund is wrong

You had your chance to decline the item at the door. Tesco are also stupid to refund you. Not sure about Tesco but Ocado keep records of this kind of thing against your details so after a few attempts you'd be flagged and they'd stop giving you refunds etc

TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 11:23

Silverfinch · 14/08/2022 11:21

Every single delivery I've ever had, Tescos or otherwise, they ask if I'm happy with any substitutions. You get an email beforehand detailing them too, and you hand things back if you don't want them!

Exactly. This is what I mean about the OP not even being honest with her/himself.

Original poster
Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:23

But my question was not about being morally right, to be fair, I'm not bothered about what people morally think of me. My point is, I'm not stealing, because they have 100% of all the power to say no and refuse, but so far they haven't. So my point to my friend was what part of that is the stealing part?

OP posts:
DanielRicciardosSmile · 14/08/2022 11:23

If you don't like the substitution then its probably OK (although you're supposed to hand it back to the driver for a refund - I've never not had time to glance at the delivery sheet before they leave). Just fancying a bit of a discount though, no. You're a CF.

TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 11:24

Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:23

But my question was not about being morally right, to be fair, I'm not bothered about what people morally think of me. My point is, I'm not stealing, because they have 100% of all the power to say no and refuse, but so far they haven't. So my point to my friend was what part of that is the stealing part?

Theft be deception?

You're telling lies in order to get money from them.