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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is wrong and this can't be classed as stealing?

331 replies

Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:06

Whenever I order a home delivery from Tesco I always get a refund on stuff that they have substituted in exchange for what I originally ordered to get money back and to keep the food, sometimes when I genuinely dislike their substitute choice or sometimes when I just want some money back.

My friend said "that is what is known as stealing". I replied "HOW can it be stealing when I call up and ask for a refund and it's at their discretion if they give one or not?" Also, I used to work in a few call centres and so probably speak to people who work at call centres politer than most other people, so that might factor their decision to give me refunds.

Unless someone tells me that they work for Tesco on the call centres and they are obliged to give everyone a refund that asks for one but they will later be punished or sacked for it if they say yes, then I can't see what the issue is if they say yes? I don't shout, or threaten or rant. I ask nicely and they say yes. If they were to ever say no, I'd simply say "okay then" and that would be that. So how is it stealing?

I just can't believe in this day and age someone would begrudge someone free food. Their tagline is "Every Little Helps". This is helping me. If they didn't want to help, they can easily say no. Or AIBU and out of touch?

OP posts:
TeapotTitties · 14/08/2022 11:25

*by

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 11:26

Big chain - free reign.

NoSquirrels · 14/08/2022 11:26

Whether or not it is “stealing” is getting hung up on a technicality - it’s definitely “taking the piss”.

You’re exploiting a system for your own benefit in a way that it’s not designed for. Ultimately, if everyone takes the puss like that, companies close the loophole and there’s no more refunds for any reason, even legitimately.

So sure, carry on if you don’t care. But actions do always have consequences in the end. No ‘crime’ is ever truly victimless.

LittleBearPad · 14/08/2022 11:26

If you don’t like the substitutions you hand them back.

Hoppinggreen · 14/08/2022 11:27

You are basically like one of these people who pretend something is wrong with their food/holiday etc or inflate a very minor issue to try abd get money back.
I don’t know if it’s stealing but it’s a grubby way to live your life and people like that arent people I would respect or want to spend time with

HangOnToYourself · 14/08/2022 11:27

Morrisons send a text and email as well notes on the receipt in the app for substitutes so I know well in advance if I want to accept them, do tesco not do this? I've tried to reject the substitutions a few times and the driver has refunded the money and told me.to keep it anyway as its fresh so would just get binned anyway.

FiveShelties · 14/08/2022 11:27

or sometimes when I just want some money back

You can call it whatever you choose to call it, but you know that you are being deceitful.

I could not do that, but we are all different, some honest, some not so much.

Original poster
Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:28

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 14/08/2022 11:22

I delivered for Ocado for over three years. You would be informed of substitutions in advance. You would then be asked at the door if you want the substitution

If you decided to take the substitution that's your choice. I think to take the item and then ring Tesco and ask for a refund is wrong

You had your chance to decline the item at the door. Tesco are also stupid to refund you. Not sure about Tesco but Ocado keep records of this kind of thing against your details so after a few attempts you'd be flagged and they'd stop giving you refunds etc

Ok. And that is your experience with Ocado's terms and conditions. But I'm saying my experience with Tesco delivery drivers is that they have never once asked that. They don't seem to have time (and if it's even a Tesco policy they ask, unlike Ocado, or maybe it depends what city/area you live in). Like I said, for me it's a rush to take all the items from the box and still have them still being around long enough to take the box back with them, never mind them asking which substitutions I'm happy with.

OP posts:
alwaysfactor50 · 14/08/2022 11:28

@Fimofriend I've had great substitutions from Tesco recently! They've upped their game here.

I don't get how they'd refund all substitutions so, for example, I ordered 1 large houmous pot, they didn't have any so gave me 2 small. The exact product and more weight for the price (they honour the large pot price). That seems a ridiculous complaint for me to phone and say I don't want it!!

Glittertwins · 14/08/2022 11:29

Tesco have only just started providing an email of what's been picked for delivery in the last 3 months or so, definitely around our way. It's much easier to weed out the unwanted subs in advance now however our drivers usually tell us as well. I've been given a refund for damaged goods and driver has said to keep it before now but I do not ever ask to keep subs and get a refund too.

Suedomin · 14/08/2022 11:30

I've never once been asked if I'm happy with substitutions by any driver.
I always get a receipt from Tesco emailed before delivery. That sets out substitutions so you can see if there is anything you don't want and return it. Don't you get those?

Bonjovispjs · 14/08/2022 11:30

You're a thief, pure and simple so stop making excuses for it and you should be ashamed of yourself, lots of people are struggling but we don't all think we're entitled to free food.

Florenz · 14/08/2022 11:31

They will ban you from doing online shopping sooner or later.

Original poster
Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:31

DanielRicciardosSmile · 14/08/2022 11:23

If you don't like the substitution then its probably OK (although you're supposed to hand it back to the driver for a refund - I've never not had time to glance at the delivery sheet before they leave). Just fancying a bit of a discount though, no. You're a CF.

I have never once received a delivery sheet, and didn't even know they give them out. I only know after they have delivered the order, when they email me a receipt. So genuinely, sometimes I don't like the substitutes, and sometimes it is just to get a refund, but there isn't a way I can check off (or the drivers have the time) every item upon turning up.

OP posts:
Anniefrenchfry · 14/08/2022 11:31

It’s dishonest yes as you’re doing it on purpose. Is it stealing no I don’t think so, and as you don’t care what folks think of your morals then, as you were.

HangOnToYourself · 14/08/2022 11:31

Keyansier · 14/08/2022 11:28

Ok. And that is your experience with Ocado's terms and conditions. But I'm saying my experience with Tesco delivery drivers is that they have never once asked that. They don't seem to have time (and if it's even a Tesco policy they ask, unlike Ocado, or maybe it depends what city/area you live in). Like I said, for me it's a rush to take all the items from the box and still have them still being around long enough to take the box back with them, never mind them asking which substitutions I'm happy with.

Show quote history

But do you get informed in advance by email or text? If so you can easily say to the tesco driver you dont want them

Namechange08642 · 14/08/2022 11:31

You’re not a thief . But you are cheeky and tbh unless I was hungry and struggling I’d be embarrassed to do this .

Silverfinch · 14/08/2022 11:31

I think it is stealing because you're aware of the substitutions, aware that you don't want them, and have already decided at the point of receiving them that you'll be getting a refund.

The fact that Tescos are allowing it is neither here nor there really. If I willingly gave my life savings to a Nigerian prince I expect you would still class it as theft.

AverageJoan · 14/08/2022 11:32

It is stealing. If you're not happy with the subs just hand them back to the driver.

sleepymum50 · 14/08/2022 11:32

I get an Asda order online. After they pack but before delivery I get an email showing substitutions. When the driver arrives I can tell him if I don’t want them. I think they are supposed to ask, but not all do. I have been told that the driver then has to put the substitutions back on the shelf. So I guess the driver prefers you to just accept them. I’ve never had a stupid substitution. Ie lemon cleaner instead of lemons.

You then have 3 days to inform them if something is wrong/damaged/unwanted. They 100% give me a refund and never ask for the product back. I have NEVER abused this system.

I once asked the delivery driver about this and he said it’s usually pretty obvious who’s scamming.

I think you are morally wrong. These costs have to be absorbed, so inevitably costs to the customer will rise. I suspect Tesco will sooner or later will realise.

Mamamia7962 · 14/08/2022 11:33

I have had my shopping delivered by Tesco for quite a few years and they have never just left the shopping in the crates and driven off. The majority of the time they ask if I am happy with the substitutions. If they substitute an item they refund the difference automatically so that is calculated into your final total on the day. Why on earth would you then phone them for a refund on an item you are keeping. You are a CF.

LaingsAcidTab · 14/08/2022 11:33

sometimes it is just to get a refund - That's the theft bit right there.

Hoppinggreen · 14/08/2022 11:33

AverageJoan · 14/08/2022 11:32

It is stealing. If you're not happy with the subs just hand them back to the driver.

Yep, if you eat it pay for it

Blowyourowntrumpet · 14/08/2022 11:34

You're trying to justify your actions which are devious. Stealing may not be the right word, but it's underhanded, sneaky and wrong. CF

Viostep · 14/08/2022 11:34

Usually when I get a delivery and there is substitutions, the driver will tell you at the door. You are asked if it's OK and if not they take back the item and don't charge for it.

If they have done that, you agreed and then phoned for a refund yabu. If the driver didn't tell you beforehand and you accepted the delivery in good faith, then yanbu. I wouldn't expect you to check every item yourself before accepting it, it's up to the driver to inform you of substitutions. They are of course welcome to come back and collect said substitution but that would be a waste of their time and resources. Probably easier for them to refund you and tell the drivers to do their job correctly in future.