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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 14/08/2022 12:34

All power to you, OP!!

Of course it's not ok to deface other people's property BUT he is displaying some serious throw-back to the 80's car mechanic thinking here - he knows it makes colleagues uncomfortable and still he displays it at work when he could have got a better look at it at home.,

Dirty old bastards like that do not get to display their sexual desires in the workplace. End of!!

nokidshere · 14/08/2022 12:34

I would have gone straight to HR friend or not. I wouldn't have defaced it personally but I don't have any strong feelings about someone else doing so.

But I would have gone through every channel I could to get any inappropriate pictures removed.

Trixiefirecracker · 14/08/2022 12:37

I think it’s hilarious that you did this and think he should never have been able to display that picture in his locker in the first place. The excuse that ‘it was different back then’ is just awful and unacceptable. You rock OP.

powergrip · 14/08/2022 12:38

So management were quite happy for an adult man to have a topless, sexualised picture of a child up on display at work?

Temporaryusernamefortoday · 14/08/2022 12:38

It’s child porn, wasn’t then but is now. Management should have made him remove it. YANBU

limitedperiodonly · 14/08/2022 12:38

Someone at work burst out of the storeroom we kept old chairs and typewriters and he hid his wank mags shouting: "Who's taken my magazines?"

A bloke said: "There's a lot of stuff in there, John. I might have seen them. What kind of magazines were they?"

John said it didn't matter.

SpidersAreShitheads · 14/08/2022 12:38

So we all get to destroy/deface items that offend our morals now? I see something at work I don’t like personally, I’m all good to go rip it up and ruin it?

I remember Page 3 very well. My Nan used to draw bikinis on them every day before my grandad read the paper to give them some modesty 😂 Page 3 was tacky and godawful and I’m glad it’s gone. For a while there were “page 7 fellas” too if blokes in little pants. All really seedy.

Despite the fact I hated Page 3, I still think it’s pretty entitled to destroy another persons property and I’m quite surprised at the crows of delight on this thread. I don’t think it reflects well on anyone.

catandcoffee · 14/08/2022 12:38

Jim should keep his wanking material at home then.
Well done OP

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 12:39

Hilarious

Given that he was asked to take it down and didn’t, it’s more than fair enough.

The fact she was a child means you should feel no guilt at all about messing up the photo. That would be illegal now. Isn’t it fucking extraordinary some Pg 3 girls used to be 16?!

powergrip · 14/08/2022 12:40

WaitingForWinter1 · 14/08/2022 09:54

Do you ever see topless women on holiday? God help you if you ever do - you'd probably cry

Usually not wank fodder for some sad loser though is it. He's purposely left this picture up to be a test as he knows it's offensive. And it's a picture of a child for god sake!

Trixiefirecracker · 14/08/2022 12:41

@SpidersAreShitheads I don’t think it reflects well that lots of people think it’s acceptable to have such an image up on display or that ( as one poster put) ‘I’m older and remember being groped by old men and just sucked it up so don’t know what the fuss is about’ ( paraphrased) but hey, each to their own. Have we not moved on at all?

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 12:43

Also OP, if this thread doesn’t make The Sun , can you insist Jim contacts them? It really does deserve to be a pg 3 story

StaunchMomma · 14/08/2022 12:43

I cannot believe how many women on here are defending the display of a topless 16 year old girl in a workplace!! It CLEARLY was on display and not safely hidden on his locker door most of the time or it wouldn't have become a topic of conversation!

To suggest it's 'woke' or 'feminist' to be grossed out by a 48 year old man sharing his wank bank with workmates needs to have a word with themselves.

You cannot compare page 3 with women going topless on the beach (not allowed in the OFFICE, hey?!) or seeing people in bikinis (again, not really OFFICE attire!) or, and I cannot believe this was even mentioned, but the Chippendales (zero cock action - doubt the managers would be up for that) or Michael-freakin-angelo!!!! Samantha Fox's tits are not any country's national treasure!!

Onandupw · 14/08/2022 12:43

@SpidersAreShitheads so your position is that some people may find child sexual images morally acceptable and that should be respected?

you are entitled to that option. It is typically described as someone who supports paedophelia.

as a society the majority take the view that children sexual images are immoral and they are certainly now criminal.

so you’ve taken quite the moral high ground there

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:43

So we all get to destroy/deface items that offend our morals now? I see something at work I don’t like personally, I’m all good to go rip it up and ruin it?

or perhaps some nuance?

So the OP defacing someone's bag because she doesn't like the colour is not the same as defacing an indecent image.

toomuchlaundry · 14/08/2022 12:44

@WaitingForWinter1 if Jim had been on a beach and taken a photo of a topless 16yo who walked past him, and he put that on his locker door, would that be okay?

Guiltycat · 14/08/2022 12:44

Gobsmacked that the voting is so split.

YANBU!

I think I love you OP.

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/08/2022 12:45

mam0918 · 14/08/2022 11:10

You damaged someone elses property in on their property... you commited a crime, of course you are wrong.

Regardless of your personal feelings, it was and still is legal to own and you dont get to impose your personal beliefs in vigilanty actions outside of the law.

Also as a woman who worked for a company similar to page 3 I have never met a woman who it wasnt wholehaertedly her choice to pose topless, many of us feel our breasts are not 'shameful' or 'offensive'... its not femanism to impose control over other women and attempt to shame us or forcibly remove our own choice.

@mam0918

She was 16 ie not a woman. That’s why it’s illegal to use U18s for glamour shots now.

roarfeckingroarr · 14/08/2022 12:45

Doesn't it count as an illegal image, given the age of consent for pornographer is 18?

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:46

yep

SuperPets · 14/08/2022 12:47

So we all get to destroy/deface items that offend our morals now? I see something at work I don’t like personally, I’m all good to go rip it up and ruin it?

We all get to destroy sexual images of children, yes. Do you actually have a problem with that?

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:47

Do you ever see topless women on holiday?

all the time, however I don't photograph the ones who look young & put the photo up at work because that would be weird...

powergrip · 14/08/2022 12:48

SpidersAreShitheads · 14/08/2022 12:38

So we all get to destroy/deface items that offend our morals now? I see something at work I don’t like personally, I’m all good to go rip it up and ruin it?

I remember Page 3 very well. My Nan used to draw bikinis on them every day before my grandad read the paper to give them some modesty 😂 Page 3 was tacky and godawful and I’m glad it’s gone. For a while there were “page 7 fellas” too if blokes in little pants. All really seedy.

Despite the fact I hated Page 3, I still think it’s pretty entitled to destroy another persons property and I’m quite surprised at the crows of delight on this thread. I don’t think it reflects well on anyone.

Yes. Of course you are allowed to defiance and destroy indecent images of children. 🙄

AllyCatTown · 14/08/2022 12:49

WaitingForWinter1 · 14/08/2022 09:54

Do you ever see topless women on holiday? God help you if you ever do - you'd probably cry

Do you go topless at work?

LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2022 12:49

It's sexual harassment and intimidating behaviour and the continued existence of it is bullying

I'd have ripped it up in front of him the second I saw it