Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ‘defaced’ this photograph??

818 replies

Boobsakimboo · 14/08/2022 09:39

We have lockers at work, in our break room where everyone goes and one co-worker,
Jim, has a photo of a famous, topless page 3 girl on the inside of his door.
the girl in the photo was 16 when it was taken, and he’s had it since around the same age - he wrote into The Sun and got a signed one sent- so it’s very precious to him.

several women have mentioned to Jim that they’d rather he didn’t have it there as the locker door is often left open and we can see it. Jim thinks we’re prudes, because it’s famous page 3 girls, and IN his locker it’s not an issue.

Anyway, cut to last week. I was alone in break room. Locker door was open so I’m looking at this picture. There were Sharpie pens sitting on the table. So I gave the child in the photo quite a substantial bikini top with the permanent marker.

shit has hit the fan! Management don’t quite know what to do. Jim is furious, and the workforce divided into those who think it’s funny and those who think it was wrong.
no-one know who did it… Jim
his suspicions …

So MN, was AIBU??

OP posts:
SunnyD44 · 14/08/2022 12:13

obviously I don’t. You missed the bit where I said the photo Is now gone.
however you’ll have a whole host of people along in a mo to say it’s fine.

@Boobsakimbo2 but you were fine having it still up there with the bikini top on.

In fact you thought it was hilarious that it was up there with your hand drawn bikini top and joked about changing her outfits.

That doesn’t sound like someone who cares about a sexy photo of a 16 y/o.

If you truly were offended that she was 16 then you would have gone straight to HR and had it removed completely.

Not left it up and then started a thread which you thought would be more on your side, to get admiration and attention from a bunch of strangers.

MightyFishwife · 14/08/2022 12:13

Astounded at the number of women setting the bar so low for men it’s fucking subterranean.

You seriously have the sads for a man who is upset that he can’t stare at a child’s nipples at work anymore? Jesus wept.

Twillow · 14/08/2022 12:14

YANBU

dudsville · 14/08/2022 12:15

A lot of NHS safeguarding policies now include reporting to the police events that happened under the age of 18, because only adults (and then not always) can fully understand the consequences these actions will have on their adult lives, and adults can better understand the influences/coercive tactis of people in positions of power, and 16 and 17 year olds are not adults.

Anyone excusing this want to give real consideration of the conversation the adult magazine staff had with this 16 year old girl? You're so pretty, men like to look at pretty girls, and you'll be famous, make a lot of money... I won't carry on because it's sick.

He should have been sacked.

I'm glad you defaced the pic OP.

IcakethereforeIam · 14/08/2022 12:17

I remember one of the tabloids had a vile countdown for one of their models, showing very sexualised pics, lots of skin, but no nipples. I assume she was naked for them on her sixteenth. Creepy as fuck, I was a child myself and it disgusted me.

mamabear715 · 14/08/2022 12:18

Can't bring myself to care much either way.. I'm older, more used to blokes being like that when I was younger. Like the area manager who loved to SQUEEZE past us young girls at work.. bleurgh! ;-)
Think I would have just put a guy pic up, tbh!

rnsaslkih · 14/08/2022 12:19

Look, you damaged someone’s property (that’s criminal isn’t it?). A sharpie on a signed photo ruins it. Don’t say you didn’t ruin it just because you drew a bikini rather than scribbling on it. It’s a page 3 photo and these are generally characterised by boobs out.

jim is a moron placing a prized possession completely unprotected in public, especially as people have expressed annoyance at its presence. Why wasn’t his locker locked?

are you prepared to pay Jim the value of this possession that you destroyed? You know you destroyed it by obliterating the boobs.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 12:19

IcakethereforeIam · 14/08/2022 12:17

I remember one of the tabloids had a vile countdown for one of their models, showing very sexualised pics, lots of skin, but no nipples. I assume she was naked for them on her sixteenth. Creepy as fuck, I was a child myself and it disgusted me.

Yes, that's what I was referring to. The "Countdown to 16". Sick.
They also had pictures of girls on their 16th birthday, still in school uniform, with the shirts open.

Onandupw · 14/08/2022 12:20

@rnsaslkih why do you think it is important to protect the property rights for child sexual images?

derxa · 14/08/2022 12:21

Cannotmakeadecison · 14/08/2022 11:05

I think you are fabulous OP. Fair play 😆

I don't. I think the whole thing is.....

Seriou · 14/08/2022 12:22

YAU for defacing someone else’s property.
However, it was brought to management attention and they did nothing so good for you !

Dragmedown · 14/08/2022 12:23

Dotcheck · 14/08/2022 10:04

I voted YABU because you destroyed someone’s property. The property which lived INSIDE HIS locker . Not only did you destroy something that was his, you violated his privacy. I can’t believe everyone who is giving you a high five over this!

And to be clear. I would have complained each and every time I saw it- I don’t agree with ‘page 3’ pics.

You could have done so many other things- like put pictures of giant dongs all over your locker, or created a removable top for the picture.
What he had wasn’t illegal, what you did was vandalism

His privacy was violated?? He deliberately kept his locker open and the photo on display for all to see. He invited everyone in!! To share his perversion knowing people objected.

Jim played with fire and got what he deserved.

IcakethereforeIam · 14/08/2022 12:24

@Maireas they made a habit of it? Inrtft so I missed your post. Have they apologised? I remember seeing p3 girls (actually that in itself is wrong) in school uniforms with their tits out, and I hated that, but actual school girls in uniforms Envy

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:25

They also had pictures of girls on their 16th birthday, still in school uniform, with the shirts open.

I remember that, I was younger but it made me so uncomfortable. It's weird what was considered acceptable not that long ago.

DdraigGoch · 14/08/2022 12:25

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2022 10:08

If it wasn't destroyed he could have at least taken it home. Sticking something over the whole picture would have been a start perhaps, not ruining it completely. But that wouldn't have got everyone cheering and clapping presumably?

I wonder what his wife and children would have thought of that. At 48 he could well have daughters the same age as the child in the photo.

Maireas · 14/08/2022 12:26

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:25

They also had pictures of girls on their 16th birthday, still in school uniform, with the shirts open.

I remember that, I was younger but it made me so uncomfortable. It's weird what was considered acceptable not that long ago.

And the absolute crap that Clare Short went through to get it banned.

whalleyt · 14/08/2022 12:27

having said that plenty seem to still think this stuff is acceptable

ofwarren · 14/08/2022 12:27

You sound awesome
YANBU

Sparklingbrook · 14/08/2022 12:27

DdraigGoch · 14/08/2022 12:25

I wonder what his wife and children would have thought of that. At 48 he could well have daughters the same age as the child in the photo.

Show quote history

Well i would imagine that Jim isn't the sort to take it home and stick it on the fridge so they would probably have no idea.

feellikeanalien · 14/08/2022 12:28

DdraigGoch · 14/08/2022 12:25

I wonder what his wife and children would have thought of that. At 48 he could well have daughters the same age as the child in the photo.

Show quote history

Exactly. If this was such a precious possession why didn't he have it stuck up at home. On the fridge door maybe.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 14/08/2022 12:28

From what you have said...
you didn't de-face it but de-tittied it. 😂

Boobsakimbo2 · 14/08/2022 12:29

‘are you prepared to pay Jim the value of this possession that you destroyed? You know you destroyed it by obliterating the boobs.’

the ‘value’? What is the value of topless photos of under 18s?
what the official pathway for this kind of thing?
bloke goes to HR to complain someone ‘defaced’ the photo of a topless woman he had in view of colleagues, who had repeatedly told him he should take it down?
then HR find out who that was, have them charged with criminal damage, fired and ask them to pay the ‘market value’ of the photo.
? Is that how it goes?

QuinkWashable · 14/08/2022 12:29

I'm absolutely with you OP.

A topless photo of a child (and I don't care if it was acceptable 'back then' - half naked pictures of 16 year olds are not acceptable now), on display (given lockers are often left open) in a communal room is entirely unacceptable. It was raised with the staff member directly, who was unrepentant, and you took action.

limitedperiodonly · 14/08/2022 12:32

It's like an episode of Antiques Roadshow on here. How much are you prepared to pay Jim for the destruction of his prized artefact that was churned out by the thousands?

IcakethereforeIam · 14/08/2022 12:33

It seems sharpie can be removed from photos. So Jim may be able to 'undress' her. He may enjoy itConfusedAngry

Swipe left for the next trending thread