To think this is hell?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I have posted variously about my job, sorry. This is a bit of a vent and I am taking steps.

I worked Friday 17:00-03:00 (10hrs)
Yesterday 15;00-03:00 (12hrs)
Today 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
Tomorrow 08:00/;18;00 (10hrs)
Tuesdsy 09:00-17;00 (8hrs)
Weds 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
thirsday 09:00:18:00( 9hrs)

I’ve had about four hours sleep and I feel sick at the thought of my week. This is not unusual but I don’t often do both 3am finishes which has compounded it. I honestly feel like walking out right now but obvs can’t do that.

I think I’m just after a bit of sympathy, or maybe the wisdom of MN will tell me to suck it up? I’m in bed still, slightly shaky at the thought of getting up and in the shower. I also have a million things to do today, Sunday and Monday are stock and orders so not a gentle day. I earn £10.45 an hour in case anyone wonders.

Not read every page but @TimeAtTheBar if you have c£120K pa as your income and you are struggling with bills, something has gone wrong with your budgeting.

Maybe see an expert- a good financial advisor would be a start- especially as you might be funding two kids at uni.

And you need as a couple to do a spreadsheet of money coming in and going out.

£120K and in financial difficulties- something needs addressing.

Your take home pay is 22k so between you that's 82k so you've 32k that's floating around.

Yes take Sick leave and learn budgeting find out where that money is going and stamp on it,

OP you are running yourself into the ground for a job that would replace you at the drop of a hat if they needed to.

It is sheer insanity to prioritise overpaying your mortgage and £200 each fun money. I'm also pretty certain your manager is taking advantage of you.

Make yourself a doctors appointment and get yourself signed out.
Catch up on some sleep and anything that needs doing at home or with DC before school starts back in September.
Sleep some more.
Job hunt.

Stop making yourself sick for a company that would replace you in a second if you dropped down dead.

People are getting caught up with the £90k figure.

That’s what he earned last year with overtime. Tbh I don’t think he’s doing as much this year anyway. And the project is in the final stages so it really will end soon.

His wage is £60k. Our combined take home is £5k.

Our bills come to £3.9k. We’re not floating in cash. Really. And we need my income.

I’ve never said we’re in financial difficulties by the way. Just that I can’t just down tools and quit.

Have you overstretched yourself on your mortgage?

Having £200 a month as spending money- does that mean after food and all bills?

You both need to sit down and work something out.

If you are so close to being in the red each month, something isn't right.

You talk about downsizing but maybe it's more about a change of area?

Not according to your desperate sounding dh

You bring home 22k you've 32k floating around somewhere. I'd say that should be a priority just now

I’m not fixated on the figure at all - we earn a lot between us (well I’m not working atm but when I was) and I know how it can easily be eaten up even though it sounds like a huge amount.

Would help to see a breakdown of where exactly that £3.9k is going every month.
How much of that is the mortgage overpayment + fun money + other discretionary spending, for example?

But you said that if you leave your job your family income will drop by around £1700 a month and that means you would be in the red.

Do you have any savings? You could maybe leave your job and use savings as a top up in the meantime.

And you allow yourselves £200 a month for non essential spending?

If his income is really £60K then maybe sit down and work out your budget on that. It's always a very bad thing to rely on overtime when it's variable.

Are you willing to break down your monthly outgoings of £3.9K?

That surely means a huge mortgage, as the only other outgoings are £400 for utilities, whatever for council tax, food and maybe water/ phone/ internet, and fuel for one car.

where's it all going?

3.9k includes mortgage, council tax, insurances inc pets, sky and Netflix etc, contact lenses, dental, loan for some household stuff (fitted wardrobes and bathroom). Mortgage overpayment is totally separate to that and based on DH’s overtime.

The rest goes on food, petrol, bus fare, a couple of meals out a month and handouts for the kids.

And tbh this isn’t really about finances other than I can’t just walk out of my job without somewhere else to go. I know we have a decent income, that’s not the point.

Anyway I’m skiving in the office right now browsing job sites.

If that's the case, why is your DH begging you to cut down/quit?

Er yes that’s why I said we don’t rely on it. It’s not counted in the budget at all. That’s my point.

He’s not. But he wants me to change jobs. So do I. I am applying elsewhere. This was really just a vent. I wish I hadn’t posted tbh, I forgot how much Mn likes to pick people apart.

well, you won't like this reply but sky and netflix are not essential and are expensive. (we have neither not because of cost.)

You have listed a lot of things that many people would regard as luxuries and not worth destroying your mental health for.

You are simply living beyond you means. You have 3 kids although two are old enough to work (as one does you said.)

Paying the mortgage out of overtime pay is madness. It's not guaranteed income.

Honestly, you need to sort out a budget and reduce some of your spending.

You've worked 71 hours, many of them anti social hours, for £10.45/hr in one week!

There are loads of job vacancies at the moment, everyone is struggling to recruit. Get your CV written and start applying. You'll probably be able to earn the same/more for a standard Mon-Fri 9-5 and actually have a life.

These hours are ridiculous, illegal and mean you have very little outside work - time to move on.

On 48 hrs a week, the difference between minimum wage and £10.45 is just short of £200 before tax.
That's your fun money.
You are killing yourself with stress and damaging your relationship with your dh for that. I hope it brings you lots of fun. For me, I would rather not have the fun money, work a sensible shift pattern, have time to enjoy my loved ones, eat out less and earn minimum wage in a less stressful job than have the half life you appear to have.

Decide what you want and cut your cloth accordingly.

I have no idea what you’re talking about tbh.

We don’t pay the mortgage out of overtime, his overtime goes on overpaying it, or occasionally other stuff.

We don’t struggle, but we would if I walked out of a £27k job with nothing to go to. I can cut back on sky and Netflix and save £100pm but that doesn’t replace a full time income, does it?

Honestly I think people here just skim posts and make stuff up.

This is what I’m thinking.

I might just go and work the bar in a different venue.

It is about finances because a lot of that absolutely could be shaved off your budget if you wanted to badly enough - at least temporarily for 3 months, for example, to allow you to take a breather before shit truly hits the fan.

However the crux of the matter is that you don’t want to quit because you don’t want to give up those things. That’s why you feel trapped.

That’s okay in and of itself but honestly, your health and well-being should matter more.

I agree with pp, getting signed off is your only remaining option. Make it for two weeks. Take a week to rest/sleep/do absolutely nothing and recharge your batteries. Take the next week to talk with your DH and think carefully about what kind of plan would allow you to go for a lower income job (just for now) to get you out of this one. Then once you are out of this job look for another one with higher income/better terms.

It's not picking you apart it's common sense, your company will do spreadsheets income versus outgoings spot the places where there's over spending, decide where you can cut back, and where to put excess funds in your case I'm thinking university monies for the children. On your joint money, grants etc will be lower because you look to be in clover on paper.

Treat your personal income as you would a business and you'll be much better prepared and content

stop overpaying the mortgage.
stop taking £200 a month each for fun spends.
Think about saving for whatever home improvements you need and not getting a loan for them.
Reduce the non essentials like all the TV stuff.

You have over stretched yourselves so that without your income it's all going to go belly up. Yet a lot of your outgoings are non-essentials.

Haven’t read the whole thread. However, it seems to be your choice to continue working these hours. Your DH has a well paid job. I’d work part time if I absolutely had to or find another job. I’d not stick to those ridiculous hours.