To think this is hell?

[TimeAtTheBar]

I have posted variously about my job, sorry. This is a bit of a vent and I am taking steps.

I worked Friday 17:00-03:00 (10hrs)
Yesterday 15;00-03:00 (12hrs)
Today 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
Tomorrow 08:00/;18;00 (10hrs)
Tuesdsy 09:00-17;00 (8hrs)
Weds 12:00-23:00 (11hrs)
thirsday 09:00:18:00( 9hrs)

I’ve had about four hours sleep and I feel sick at the thought of my week. This is not unusual but I don’t often do both 3am finishes which has compounded it. I honestly feel like walking out right now but obvs can’t do that.

I think I’m just after a bit of sympathy, or maybe the wisdom of MN will tell me to suck it up? I’m in bed still, slightly shaky at the thought of getting up and in the shower. I also have a million things to do today, Sunday and Monday are stock and orders so not a gentle day. I earn £10.45 an hour in case anyone wonders.

Your working a senior role for £10.45 p/h
Which involves shift work and unsociable hours.

You’ve a joint income of £117000. What sort of lifestyle are you leading to NEED that much money unless your paying for private education or having several holidays a year. - Uni kids can get a job!

Neither of these make any sense. You could earn more in a supermarket.

You might love your job but this is utter madness. No one loves their job that much.

Misread have asked MN to remove

This is insane.
He earns 90k!
How many cars do you own?
Kids in private school?
Come on

Well OP maybe a waitress. In which case her best bet would be to do a college course get qualified and find a better job less hours

I don't think the OP signed the WTD, because U.K. employees don't need to. WTD is an opt out not an opt in,

Shit employers force staff as part of their contract to opt out of WTD more like, so they can exploit staff by pressuring them to do bonkers shift patterns. But the reality is that the OP could have refused to opt out and then they would have been able to force their employer to respect the terms of WTD. That's why it's in place.

your employer may invite you to opt out but they cannot force you, discriminate against you or treat you negatively if you decline.

www.gov.uk/maximum-weekly-working-hours/weekly-maximum-working-hours-and-opting-out

I'm struggling to grasp why someone is torturing themselves when their DH is on £90K. It doesn't make sense, It is straying into martyrdom as a PP has observed.

Even if you quit tomorrow you'd easily get a job the next day in the type of industry sector you're in, OP. Sorry to say it, but it isn't like you're in a highly specialist industry or where unique qualifications are needed and jobs are hard to come by.

youd be better off in the public sector, at least UK employment law has to be adhered to.

It sounds like you are overcommitted financially. Where does your money go? I know energy costs are high, and a £400k mortgage must come at a cost, but what other commitments do you have?
Holidays, school fees, debts etc?

This is just not sustainable as a way of life. Something is going to have to give.

By overpaying your mortgage you would likely qualify for a mortgage payment break if you needed it.

You’re catastrophising about the overtime ending. You will also get another job on far better terms with less trouble than you seem to think. You aren’t trapped unless you believe you are

I had every sympathy for you until you said you were at work. I looked at the timeline of posts. For someone who says they are rushed off their feet and there aren’t enough hrs in the day you have spent a lot of time on here.

It’s three short posts since her shift started. It’s not impossible. Plus a significant part of OP’s problem is the duration and quantity of her hours

No car loans or private school. No cleaner or gardener or nanny.

Its really all housing costs and life. We literally take £200pm to spend each and the rest is spoken for.

I’m literally sitting in the office doing orders. The computer is ancient and slow so in between waiting for pages to load I’m dipping in and out of this thread.

This is one of most frustrating threads

Income 117k. Outgoings

Mortgage 24k
Energy 5k
Fun money 5k
So that's 34k

Say 5k for council tax and water rates 12k for food.

That's 50k

I have no idea what the other money is spent on even at 40% tax for OH

This is a family that needs a spreadsheet budget

Well if that’s discretionary spending then that’s your £400 bills isn’t it. This is not the time for prioritising fun money.

You need to absolutely ruthlessly prioritise making it work for you without this job. As soon as you’re out of it you’ll feel less panicky which means you’ll be less likely to catastrophise.

Do your children who are working pay towards household bills? If not they need to start doing so.

When you said your DH was “begging” you to give it up…. Does he not know your finances? As clearly he thinks it is worth it (and I imagine he does if he’s working full time, 100% housework and 90% parenting)

I think your definition of "life" is probably the issue. I bet many many things could be cut from the budget to enable you to reduce hours, change or even quit work. Stuff you don't even have time to do/use right now. Being overwhelmed and overcommitted is expensive in itself as you throw money at trying to make your life bearable rather than solving the core issue

That's 50k for living and silly money, where's the rest of it going have you ever sat down and worked it out?

Food?
petrol?
insurances?
utilities?
clothing?

i mean that’s just for starters

m yes, understand my you need a spreadsheet!

Understatement

Despite either your DH has no grasp of the finances when he’s “begging” you to give it up

or

You are presenting yet another obstacle that means you stay where you are and you and the entire family suffer for it

Yes and if you manage a better balance and find a job that isn’t taking so much from you, you find that you don’t need to throw quite as much money at quite as many things in order to go on pretending that things are okay for short periods of time...

www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php

Your OH walks away with 60k after all deductions. So I'm baffled

Please quit or go to the doctors and get signed off for a couple of weeks. You sound like you’re at the heart of a tornado and aren’t seeing any way out.

im guessing you’re sending another DC to Uni? Are you getting the minimum maintenance loan and then having to top up for the accommodation costs and living expenses? Are you giving them the bare minimum and telling them they have to work for their own socialising, clothes, gifts, trips etc.? Is that an area that could be slightly scaled back for both of your Uni-aged kids? I’m in the same boat with sending a child off to uni and am struggling to see how we can afford the monthly top up of £400 (£50 a week ‘living’ allowance for books, toiletries etc.. and the rest for accommodation and strict instructions to get a job)

if you stop overpaying mortgage, reduce the money you give your uni-aged kids could you still survive? I’m assuming you have no savings tucked away anywhere? Does your youngest go to state school? do you have lots of debts?

please don’t carry on like this.

From reading all her post she’s implied she’s in a senior role such as supervisor or manager. No waitress would have the level of responsibility she has mentioned she has, or work until 3 am! I’m guessing she’s a hotel/ restaurant manager perhaps.

I knew it would be hospitality. That’s pretty standard hours. I got out as soon as I could.