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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Downstairs neighbour complaining about child making noise

147 replies

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 07:48

Hi all. Wondering if I'm BU to be hacked off?

We've literally just had a knock on the door from our downstairs neighbour. We live in a maisonette, we're in the top flat he's on the bottom. He said 'listen, can you tell your kid to be quiet and stop running around?'.

I am honestly speechless. We have a three year old and a newborn. Yes, she was running up and down the hallway and laughing, but she's 3 and doesn't understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of day. We've lived her for four years, never had any issues or complaints from other neighbours or the ones who lived below previously.

I am absolutely fuming but I don't know if I have a right to be. To me, if you live in a shared building you run the risk of hearing noise. And it's not as if we're playing music or running the washing machine. You know, noise you can prevent or limit. Does he expect us to gag and tie up our child?

Am I BU or is he?

OP posts:

ClocksGoingBackwards · 14/08/2022 07:51

A three year old can usually understand the instruction not to run. Considering it’s still early on a Sunday morning, YABU.

QBee2022 · 14/08/2022 07:52

Your neighbour can't move into a ground floor flat below a family with young children and expect silence. It normal family noise

Half of mumsnet will tell you to make the child silent though!

KangarooKenny · 14/08/2022 07:52

Is your hallway carpeted ?

Gizlotsmum · 14/08/2022 07:53

Tricky. It’s Sunday so I would have maybe made a bit of an effort to stop her running in the hallway ( is it solid floor or carpeted). Is he a new neighbour? Is this the first time he has complained? Or does he complain about everything? My judgement would probably be affected by if it was a first complaint. Yes some noise should be expected but some effort should also be made to keep noise low.

Original poster

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 07:53

I should say we do tell her not to run but being 3 she sometimes forgets herself and will run.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 07:54

@KangarooKenny Carpeted

OP posts:

HSKAT · 14/08/2022 07:54

Running up and down the hall at this time would be noise tbh and giving the time and day it is.

notanothertakeaway · 14/08/2022 07:55

Before 8am on a Sunday? I wouldn't be too impressed. Yes, neighbours have to accept some family noise, but it sounds as though you weren't even trying to keep 3yr old quiet. You should be more considerate

SmellyStinkyPong · 14/08/2022 07:55

I think that you have to be considerate, running round early on a Sunday morning is a bit unfair

Original poster

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 07:56

@Gizlotsmum the hallway is carpeted. He has complained about other things before, but not about noise.

OP posts:

dottiedodah · 14/08/2022 07:58

Maybe a little early on a Sunday morning though. Perhaps see if she will watch peppa pig for a little while. Really though he needs to sack it up as that's what living in a flat is like

Original poster

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 07:58

@notanothertakeaway we were telling her, but she got excited and forgot herself and ran after me when I went to the toilet. It literally happened once or twice, it wasn't going on for hours.

OP posts:

saraclara · 14/08/2022 07:58

Ruining down the hallway and laughing loudly at 7:30 on a Sunday morning is something you should had stopped her doing immediately. Much as flat dwellers should expect some noise, flat dwellers should also be aware of their neighbours.

In his position I'd be annoyed too.

Do you have hard flooring? It's a nightmare in flats.

saraclara · 14/08/2022 07:59

Ah. Cross-posted

butterflied · 14/08/2022 07:59

YABU. Stop fuming at a request that is perfectly reasonable.

user1497787065 · 14/08/2022 08:00

It's hardly early on a Sunday morning though is it? But I know we all have different thoughts on what is acceptable at what time of the day.

We were commented on recently on our village Facebook page for mowing our lawns at 6pm.

luxxlisbon · 14/08/2022 08:00

Yes, she was running up and down the hallway and laughing, but she's 3 and doesn't understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of day.

She might not understand but you do, and you are the parent.
I live in a flat with a 1 year old, if I let he she would go up and down the corridor all morning screaming on her bike but I don’t let her do that at 7am because it’s fucking annoying for other people trying to sleep.
If he was complaining about normal noise later in the day he would be being unreasonable but you are letting her make a lot of noise very early in the morning so right now it’s you being unreasonable.

liveforsummer · 14/08/2022 08:01

3 year olds can definitely be taught it's not ok to do things at certain times of day. It's too early on a Sunday to be charging up and down a hall way (I live in an upper flat with dc too). If they don't follow the instruction to stop when explained why then you need to distract until they learn to.

sugarspiceplumfairy · 14/08/2022 08:01

yabu It’s early I’m sure you’d feel the same if your neighbour was waking up your dc

saraclara · 14/08/2022 08:03

QBee2022 · 14/08/2022 07:52

Your neighbour can't move into a ground floor flat below a family with young children and expect silence. It normal family noise

Half of mumsnet will tell you to make the child silent though!

Equally a family moving into a flat above other people have to accept that they are going to have to be considerate of their downstairs neighbours.

Carpetfluffy · 14/08/2022 08:03

YABU. Massively!

Bet you'd be right down there if he put music on and woke your kids up at night but it's okay for your 3 year old to run around and wake him
Up before 8am on a Sunday because she's 3?

Brill

Sunnyqueen · 14/08/2022 08:04

Normally I'm firmly in the 'don't move in to a downstairs flat below a young family if you don't like noise' camp but it is early on a Sunday morning. Sit her down to watch a movie or do some play dough or something for a couple of hours before letting her run round everywhere.

pasturesgreen · 14/08/2022 08:05

Before 8am on a Sunday morning is still quite early to be running around, YABU.

EmmaH2022 · 14/08/2022 08:06

user1497787065 · 14/08/2022 08:00

It's hardly early on a Sunday morning though is it? But I know we all have different thoughts on what is acceptable at what time of the day.

We were commented on recently on our village Facebook page for mowing our lawns at 6pm.

Christ. What is your definition of “early”?

Original poster

TheseAreMyGoodPants · 14/08/2022 08:06

Okay guys, maybe I am BU. For those who missed it I should say that it wasn't going on for hours, she ran down the hallway once, we told her to stop and she did, but then got excited and forgot herself and did it once again. We then took her into the living room to try and distract her. That's when the neighbour knocked. I just think it's a little heavy handed to come knocking when it only happened twice?

OP posts:

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