Downstairs neighbour complaining about child making noise

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

Hi all. Wondering if I'm BU to be hacked off?

We've literally just had a knock on the door from our downstairs neighbour. We live in a maisonette, we're in the top flat he's on the bottom. He said 'listen, can you tell your kid to be quiet and stop running around?'.

I am honestly speechless. We have a three year old and a newborn. Yes, she was running up and down the hallway and laughing, but she's 3 and doesn't understand she needs to be quiet at certain times of day. We've lived her for four years, never had any issues or complaints from other neighbours or the ones who lived below previously.

I am absolutely fuming but I don't know if I have a right to be. To me, if you live in a shared building you run the risk of hearing noise. And it's not as if we're playing music or running the washing machine. You know, noise you can prevent or limit. Does he expect us to gag and tie up our child?

Am I BU or is he?

[girlmom21]

FFS every Sunday we get a "I was woken by my neighbours kids in the garden" thread and everyone says "oh they should make their children play inside" and now that's wrong and you should sit her in front of Peppa Pig?

Kids run around. It's what they do.

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

@Carpetfluffy I don't think blasting music and a 3 year old running is comparable?

[Mrstwiddle]

I think you need to start being more considerate, he obviously knocked on your door because your child’s noise woke him up (early on a Sunday when a lot of people would like to sleep in) I do hope you apologised.

[TigerRag]

@girlmom21

FFS every Sunday we get a "I was woken by my neighbours kids in the garden" thread and everyone says "oh they should make their children play inside" and now that's wrong and you should sit her in front of Peppa Pig?

Kids run around. It's what they do.

But you have to teach them there's a time and a place for it? I used to have upstairs neighbours whose children would run around. But they were reasonable about it. Never this early on a weekend.

[whiteroseredrose]

YANBU. If you live next to or under a family, you will get noise.

We had a lovely elderly neighbour for 20 years but now have a couple with toddler and baby. We can hear crying, tantrums and noisy games. DD is often woken by the baby. Our neighbour has apologised but other than gag her children there is nothing that can be done.

Do your best to stop DD when you can, but your neighbour will have to get used to it. In a couple of years there will be two running around!

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

@TigerRag We did tell her when she did it the first time. But being 3 she later got excited and did it again. That's when the neighbour knocked. I appreciate it is early on a Sunday but it wasn't going on for hours and we did tell her.

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

@Mrstwiddle yes of course we apologised. I appreciate it is annoying and early, but she's a child and won't always behave impeccably or quietly, even when we told her not to run. It happened twice.

[DancingBeanstalk]

It may have “only happened twice” today but it’s probably been going on for quite some time and your neighbour is rightly sick of it.

You need better parenting techniques than wishy washy don’t do that’s and excuses of her “forgetting”.

[SaintHelena]

Can't see how a three year old running on carpet can cause much noise.

[tinplantpot]

Yeah that would annoy me at this time on a Sunday.

[curlymom]

YABU maybe it’s the only chance the man gets some extra sleep on a Sunday. Why should your child be running around first thing in the morning? Give her a book or something

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

@DancingBeanstalk what would you suggest then other than distraction and telling her no, which is what we've been doing? Thank you for suggesting my parenting is poor though, very kind of you.

[tinplantpot]

@TheseAreMyGoodPants

@DancingBeanstalk what would you suggest then other than distraction and telling her no, which is what we've been doing? Thank you for suggesting my parenting is poor though, very kind of you.

She's no a baby. She's 3.

Stern talking to. We don't run in the house. And every time she does check her, stop her and tick her off.

[NewHopeNow]

In your op she didn't do it once. She was "running up and down the hallway". In your op you didn't tell her after one time and try and distract her in the living room. You were fuming and declaring that she's "only 3" and doesn't know.

You know though, don't you? It's not the child people complain about. It's the lack of parenting.

[Whitehorsegirl]

You have to put yourself in their shoes...it is Sunday morning and probably the only time of the week if they are working where they can have a good sleep and some rest. The last thing they need is to be woken by your child running around.

It is likely that this has been bothering them for a while and today they just had enough.

So yes, try to find ways to mitigate the noise and to keep your kid occupied so they don't wake people up early at weekends.

Also if you have two kids it would be better for you to try to find a garden flat somewhere so that your kids can go outside & run around without disturbing the people below.

[DancingBeanstalk]

@tinplantpot

She's no a baby. She's 3.

Stern talking to. We don't run in the house. And every time she does check her, stop her and tick her off.

Exactly this.

She does it because you allow her to do it.

She does it because there’s no umph or care or feeling or any real meaning behind “don’t run in the hallway”.

[Friendofdennis]

I think your family needs to be able to relax in their own home. A toddler running about is normal Your floors are carpeted You will just have to tell him politely that this is normal family life.

[Chakraleaf]

I live in a terrace and I follow basic things like no shouting and running around before 9am just because its polite really.

[Prinnny]

Sounds like it was the straw that broke the camels back. Maybe be more mindful of the noise in future.

Of course some noise is to be expected in a flat but a three year old running around in the hour of 7 on a Sunday is taking the piss.

[Luredbyapomegranate]

You are going to get negative responses because people are imagining you have floorboards and have been letting your kid run amok.

You haven’t so no you aren’t being unreasonable.

[Arbesque]

@TheseAreMyGoodPants

Okay guys, maybe I am BU. For those who missed it I should say that it wasn't going on for hours, she ran down the hallway once, we told her to stop and she did, but then got excited and forgot herself and did it once again. We then took her into the living room to try and distract her. That's when the neighbour knocked. I just think it's a little heavy handed to come knocking when it only happened twice?

But maybe he knew from previous experience that if he didn't say something it would keep on happening.
I know it's difficult but it's also hard on the people below you. There should be far stricter rules about properly soundproofing flats and duplexes when they're being built or renovated.

[Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious]

@Prinnny

Sounds like it was the straw that broke the camels back. Maybe be more mindful of the noise in future.

Of course some noise is to be expected in a flat but a three year old running around in the hour of 7 on a Sunday is taking the piss.

This. Sounds like it may not have been just this occasion she does it. Thing is you need to be respectful of each other's right to quieter times. Would you like it if he starts making noise late at night when your kids are asleep?

[Mumblechum0]

I’m still gobsmacked at the pp who thinks it’s ok to mow their lawn at 6am on a Sunday 😱

OP, what consequences are there for your DD forgetting to do as she’s told? Because as with any rules for kids or adults, there need to be consequences for being broken, I think

[Sugarpiehoney]

@Mumblechum0

I’m still gobsmacked at the pp who thinks it’s ok to mow their lawn at 6am on a Sunday 😱

OP, what consequences are there for your DD forgetting to do as she’s told? Because as with any rules for kids or adults, there need to be consequences for being broken, I think

Their post said 6pm and didn’t say anything about Sundays?

[Heyln]

I would say yanbu as I have a 3 year old and know how hard it is to contain them and stop them running everywhere. Impossible to sustain with some kids. Also even if you tell them to stop running how on earth can you pre empt it and prevent it from happening in the first place. My kids are up at 5am and are very high energy so trying to keep them still until past 8 would be so difficult. I would literally be telling them off all morning. It's unfortunate that they have to live beneath noise but that's always the risk when you're in a flat with neighbours directly above. He should just get on with it or move if it is such a big problem. Also it probably just sounds louder to them because it's early but you have to have a bit of understanding when you have neighbours with young children, I mean he's just made things very awkward going forward. I would feel on edge all the time about my child making any noise after this and would feel so constantly stressed.