Got a telling off - used the wrong changing room

[lookingformeavain]

I have a disabled son

We went swimming today. When we got out, the disabled facilities had someone in them so I used the next best thing, the 'Group Changing Room'

No problems. DS washed, dressed and fine. I then started to get myself out of my swim stuff. A male lifeguard? Want to say lifeguard as dressed like them, walked in and shouted

He said 'This is a group changing facility! Why are you in here?'

I apologised and explained the disabled one was in use so this seems a reasonable adjustment since it was free at the time. He said 'you are not in a group, please go and change somewhere else'

I said sorry but no, I need to get changed now as quickly as possible before any incidents occur. This is a highly stressful and carefully managed trip. Please leave.

He said 'I won't leave until you do, please use a cubicle'. I stood my ground and said no, now please leave me in privacy. He just walked out and tutted!

AIBU? I know I'm not actually.
But the cheek of it to actually walk in and ask me to leave

Why not have followed me in as soon as I went in there? Washing and dressing DS took at least 10 minutes. What on earth was the wait for him to come and say this?

I should also add there is no lock to the 'Group changing room' hence him being able to just walk in

Are two people not a group? How old is your son? Seems over the top to me!

@Newuser82 thanks, he's 5

Well done for standing your ground. You did the right thing. It sounds very stressful. Hope you and your son had a good swim. Xxx

YANBU

Absolutely unacceptable

How much is ‘a group’ to them?

I stopped using public pools because I think lifeguards are taught how to be dickheads as part of their training.

I bet if you were a well built 6’7” burly bloke he wouldn’t have spoken to you like that

YANBU

But did he really shout? That's very unreasonable of him.

I really think I would have done the same thing and my kids aren't disabled. I genuinely would think two people classes as a group. I can't believe he just walked in. What if you had your clothes off! I never complain but I think I would in this situation.

Did he also go and police whoever was in the disabled?

ThT sounds quite stressful - but if your son Is 5 why didn’t you just go in the womens changing? I appreciate that there may be certain facilities in the disabled changing -lot is it that you just need the extra space offered?

The group room will be for schools groups etc and isn't used for other quite because it doesn't lock. He could have walked in on you undressed, I doubt he'd watched you walk in and came in 10 mins later, you will have surprised him and he doesn't want to walk in on people changing any more than you want him to.

It could have been handled differently, but it's right that the center safeguards its staff as well as its customers.

You are not wrong. My son and his carers have twice recently been obliged to cram into a normal sized changing room as a family had used the disabled room and left all their stuff in it while they swam.

My son's carer uses the disabled facilities too

It's harder to change him there, plus the space is tiny. It's far easier for him to unlock the door and bolt for example

I'm a lifeguard. That is absolutely baffling. I cannot understand what problem the lifeguard had .

I'm offended by the dickhead comment. Most lifeguards (not me!) are very young and rather shy. Most hate telling customers off, even when it is vital (for example when a customer dives into the shallow end or tried to take 3yo twins into the pool by themselves). We often get backchat from customers because tbey either don't understand the reason for the rules or think they shouldn't apply to them.

Presumably related to her sons disability? Otherwise she would not need to access a disabled changing room

Group change are normally single sex
so a woman went into a mens changing room

you were totally in the wrong

This is my pet hate.

The family chaning ones and baby changing rooms always have people leaving their clothes in them.

But if I needed them I wouldn't hesitate to use them.

If they want to risk their belongings that up to them, if I need to use the baby change table I need to use it, their clothes aren't going to stop me.

Once they started knocking and then banging on the door, but that's their problem.

Well, it was in the women's 'half' of the changing rooms and nothing at all to say it was for men or women. Just says 'Group changing room'.

So how was I on the wrong!

This baffles me too, if no "proper" group was in there, what does it matter that you were in there? It's nothing to do with his job of keeping swimmers safe either, although they do tend to be glorified cleaners as well.

I think the comment about lifeguards being dickheads is uncalled for as well; they're youngsters paid close to the minimum wage and have to be highly trained. That said, one was a dickhead to me when I was pregnant - brave lad to be rude to a hormonal pregnant woman!

If you go back to that pool, mention it to the duty manager and say that you expect to be able to use any suitable changing room as reasonable adjustments for your son's disability.

@gatehouseoffleet i was quite taken aback as they're all usually so lovely in there!

Group change are normally single sex

how does that work with families then?

In our pool we have a changing village with loads of different sized cubicles but it doesn't sound like the OP's pool is like that.

Eh? How did you come to the conclusion that it was for men only?

Maybe a customer had just shouted at him over something. He shouldn't have taken it out on you though.

I use them all the time for my two kids. Didn’t even occur to me there’d be an issue. There’s no sign saying not to use them