Got a telling off - used the wrong changing room

[lookingformeavain]

I have a disabled son

We went swimming today. When we got out, the disabled facilities had someone in them so I used the next best thing, the 'Group Changing Room'

No problems. DS washed, dressed and fine. I then started to get myself out of my swim stuff. A male lifeguard? Want to say lifeguard as dressed like them, walked in and shouted

He said 'This is a group changing facility! Why are you in here?'

I apologised and explained the disabled one was in use so this seems a reasonable adjustment since it was free at the time. He said 'you are not in a group, please go and change somewhere else'

I said sorry but no, I need to get changed now as quickly as possible before any incidents occur. This is a highly stressful and carefully managed trip. Please leave.

He said 'I won't leave until you do, please use a cubicle'. I stood my ground and said no, now please leave me in privacy. He just walked out and tutted!

AIBU? I know I'm not actually.
But the cheek of it to actually walk in and ask me to leave

Why not have followed me in as soon as I went in there? Washing and dressing DS took at least 10 minutes. What on earth was the wait for him to come and say this?

Why did he even walk in?

Well done for standing your ground

Both our leisure centre and pool attached to the school have single sex group change

OP never said she was in woman’s
half with her saying it was a male lifeguard in there

guessing they probably be cleaned and not for public use only for schools and groups
ours at the leisure centre are locked

tbf if there shut there should be a sign or locked
so I presume there not for public use that why she was asked to leave

If you were in the women's half, why was a male life guard even walking in there and opening up the door. Cheeky sod. I'd be complaining, you could have been undressed.

This sounds totally rotten, OP. I would write to the pool and explain the situation and ask them to speak to staff.

@dizzydizzydizzy what’s wrong with taking 3 year old twins swimming with one parent?
DC1 can now swim but until recently I’ve been taking two, young non swimmers swimming regularly. The rule in our swimming pool is one adult to every 3 children under 6.

It’s very common to see one adult holding / supporting or supervising multiple children as I have been doing.

That’s awful! Well done for standing up to him. I would definitely report it to management.

I think you need to take this further and ascertain what you should have done under the circumstances.

I work at a leisure centre, our group changing rooms are locked and are used for school swimming and water babies however if the disabled changing room was in use. We would have opened them for you to use. We regularly have customers in who used our facilties.

If your disabled son was 14 you would have had a point but at 5 you could take him in the ladies. They may have a group booked

There was no need to be rude and he could have asked that you get changed quickly considering you had no other option.

But he was right to make sure you were in the correct changing room and many of places have the group rooms booked for schools and youth groups etc.
I’d rather not have a strange adult in the room whilst my DC we’re getting changed if this was the case.

But he was right to make sure you were in the correct changing room and many of places have the group rooms booked for schools and youth groups etc.
I’d rather not have a strange adult in the room whilst my DC we’re getting changed if this was the case.

Well it's even less likely since it's the summer holidays, and water babies will have their parent there with them surely so I'm not just some random woman with a 5 year old in with a load of babies (shudders)

He sounds like a power mad jobsworth. What was he even doing in the changing room? I’d report him to the manager.

Our pool is 1:1 for under 5’s except at parent and child sessions where I adult can have 2 under 5’s. These sessions have more lifeguards and none of the features are in operation.

I bet he was planning to take a sneaky 5 minute break or make some calls and knew the room wasn't booked for a group.

That's insanely dangerous. Nonswimmers require man to man marking.

If your son is only 5, could you have not taken him into the ladies changing room? The group change facility may have been needed for e.g. a group of children in an organised activity. It must have been frustrating that the disabled facility was unavailable, but a better approach would have been to ask a staff member for advice.

I'm sure if Op could have taken him into the ladies she would have done!

If thee was a group booked the guy just had to say so.

No, it's far better to take him where there's better space available

Anyway, why not just say 'Excuse me, this is for groups. Please would you be quick and not use this one next time? Thank you'

He never even mentioned any group bookings needing to use it

When the dc were small, I recall a similar arsy attitude from.lifeguards. They were particularly bossy.

You should complain op. It is unacceptable behaviour.

Literally half the pool is doing it. This is a nationwide chain that is 3-1 but all other pools I’ve been to have been pretty much 50/50 split between 2-1 or 3-1. I’ve never seen a swimming pool rules stipulate 1-1 ever and we go swimming a lot (like 3-4x a week) so have visited many.

Group changing rooms are usually for booked groups such as schools or clubs. Not for members of the public. You had no idea if a group was due in or not.

Well it's even less likely since it's the summer holidays,

Theres loads of group bookings at my local leisure centre still.

You are wrong. Playschemes will often book group changing rooms.

It really wasn't big enough for a school group, so 16 kids or so. Far too small for that