Got a telling off - used the wrong changing room

[lookingformeavain]

I have a disabled son

We went swimming today. When we got out, the disabled facilities had someone in them so I used the next best thing, the 'Group Changing Room'

No problems. DS washed, dressed and fine. I then started to get myself out of my swim stuff. A male lifeguard? Want to say lifeguard as dressed like them, walked in and shouted

He said 'This is a group changing facility! Why are you in here?'

I apologised and explained the disabled one was in use so this seems a reasonable adjustment since it was free at the time. He said 'you are not in a group, please go and change somewhere else'

I said sorry but no, I need to get changed now as quickly as possible before any incidents occur. This is a highly stressful and carefully managed trip. Please leave.

He said 'I won't leave until you do, please use a cubicle'. I stood my ground and said no, now please leave me in privacy. He just walked out and tutted!

AIBU? I know I'm not actually.
But the cheek of it to actually walk in and ask me to leave

Why not have followed me in as soon as I went in there? Washing and dressing DS took at least 10 minutes. What on earth was the wait for him to come and say this?

And one of the worst part of a job working with the public is all those people who think an exception should be made for them, making your life more difficult.

By the way it was not a reasonable adjustment. There is a disabled changing room and a women's changing room. The fact the disabled room was being used does not prevent you going a walk around the centre and coming back. No one can ever guarantee you will never have to wait whether for a disabled toilet or disabled changing room.

It must be for organised groups of some type?
A group changing room is not a general public changing room.

@Wishyfishy if you look up drowning deaths, children make up the biggest group.

Adult to child ratios in swimming pools take account of the hazards in the pool and the fact that the younger the child, the more supervision they need. In my pool 1:1 supervision for under 4s is mandatory. For 4-7s, you can have a adult per 2 children.

I have rescued 2 children aged 3 or 4 who were in water they could stand up. Both of them got themselves face down in tbe water and then didn't understand how to put their feet down to stand up.

Here you go. Highland swimming pools:

0-4 years 1 adult to 1 child
5-7 year's 1 adult to 2 children

Presumably if the room was actually booked the lifeguard would have said so.

Sorry meant to post link
www.highlifehighland.com/leisure/admission-policy-swimming/

This is so bizarre. I use the group room all the time because I have 3 DC and my mum usually comes so we all go in there. Sometimes there will be a couple of other ladies in there already but most of the time not.

Literally no idea why this would be any kind of issue anywhere.

One time we did go and there was an actual group of children in there so we just quickly changed and went! Literally no drama.

Very odd I would raise it.

The problem is that if a group is taking children swimming, there should be zero members of the public there. All adults in the changing room should have been screened and had a DBS. It is basic safeguarding. And I would not have sent my children swimming with a group if I knew a swimming pool was so lax with safeguarding.

Write a letter about staff awareness of reasonable adjustments to support an inclusive environment. The lifeguard needs some VERY basic training in handling situations. What a dick.

Of course using the group changing room is a reasonable adjustments if it was not otherwise in use! The women's was not suitable and 'going for a walk around the centre' in your wet swimming costume is a ridiculous idea especially with a child who elopes. What about using the group changing room places an unreasonable burden on the centre?

This is a fair point. I do wonder if the fact that we have male and female group rooms and not just one big group rooms made them more relaxed, or perhaps they simply didn't pick up on it

Your perspective is ridiculous 🙄 He is 5! And he's disabled. OP, you did fuck all wrong.

@rwalker eh? This makes no sense at all. Why is a group changing room for men?

OP you did nothing wrong here.

Really annoying when people do this. Our local leisure centre you have to have a key for the disabled changing room. There's a family change with big cubicles could easily change a family of in one. There's a a baby changer in each one, a little seat to put babies in while you get changed. I usually just use the family change anyway. The disabled change stinks.

Wow I’m surprised by this. ‘Better’ leisure centres, which seem to be most council ones in London, are 2:1. David Lloyd is 3:1 and Virgin Active is 2:1 / 3:1 so long as non swimmers have noodles or arm bands etc.

I’m very glad I get to take my kids swimming on my own - it’s one of our favourite things and it means that DC1 has now become pretty confident in the water. If we were on 1:1 I’d struggle to get them any experience before school lessons, which only happen in later years.

A friend and her large family attempted to use the group changing room in our local leisure centre once. When she went in there was a large group of men one of whom was stark naked with his leg up on a changing station while he dried his testicles with a hair dryer.No lifeguards moved them on strangely enough.

You were in the wrong. Group change is for schools or "groups" a mother and child isn't a group!! What if an organised group came in, they would have had to wait fir you. Also, you could have just got your things and moved to a cubicle like everyone else does, instead you chose to deny rules. They have family cubicles in almost all swimming baths these days!

'Like everyone else does' oh does everyone else have a disabled person with them too then?

He is five years old. A family cubicle would have been fine.

Totally disproportionate reaction from the lifeguard. I'd be inclined to speak to the manager and ask for the rules around the group changing facility. And also ask what they suggest you do next time you're there with your disable child.

Sounds like it was stressful, hope you're ok now.

‘Of course using the group changing room is a reasonable adjustments if it was not otherwise in use.’

I agree, but in those circumstances it’s usual to ask the provider to make the adjustment so they can risk assess and decide whether they can make it. There might have been a reason the changing room wasn’t up for grabs.

Why didn't you wait for the disabled facilities to become available?

I’m a regular swimmer and I think it is quite unreasonable to lump all lifeguards together negatively. Must be a fairly dull job 90% of the time, but a necessary one.

That's a lot of assumptions under your belt to so confidently tell the op that she was wrong.

Because you need to sort things quickly when you have a child with a disability like my sons