To think being fat makes people dislike you?

[Lordylord1]

….?
i really feel the difference since I put on weight and find myself more lonely

People dislike me whether I'm fat or thin. As someone who has been both, more than once, I didn't find it made a difference.

I’m fat, I have friends, nice family, work colleagues who all like me, hasn’t changed for me since i was slim.
but my mom has said it’s changer for her since she put weight on, she feels isolated now and people ignore her.

I agree. People seem to think fat people are, well "chavvy". And they treat them accordingly. Especially men.

I gained 7 stone and then lost it again and I definitely noticed a difference in the way people treated me when I was fat.

I was overweight (size 16-18) and I'm now fairly slim (size 10-12) and haven't noticed a different in how people treat me. Some of it may be down to your own feelings. Maybe it would have been different if I was extremely overweight.

I've been fat and thin and I was only treated differently by strangers when I was fat. Friends, family and colleagues treat me the same no matter my size.

Size 22-24 and no, people are still lovely to me or, sometimes awful, because that’s how people are. But not because of my size.

I got plenty of attention from men even when I was overweight, I was popular.
My morbid obese friend hasn’t got any issues getting dates with nice men or being treated nicely either. I’m sorry that you have a different experience though and that people were shitty to you.

I can see it might chance how strangers see you, but not really people who know you. I suspect it might be partly your own self esteem?

Yes I think people who don't know you look down on fat people.

I disagree actually.

I have been a size 8-10 most of my adult life so far, always very glam (worked as a beauty consultant for Clinique and Chanel etc). As I’ve got older I’ve developed a lot of health issues and regular steroids and over eating has meant I am now a size 20. I find people are friendlier to
me, more chatty, nicer. Sometimes I think people feel a bit intimidated by slim people with make up etc. I still wear make up etc but the weight has definitely had a positive impact on how people respond to me.

I had a friendship group a number of years ago we made through the babies. I was told by one (because she had been ignored by this particular girl and I was sticking up for said girl saying it mightn’t be personal) that there as a group chat about my weight and how it was embarrassing. I remained friends with some but always felt like the outsider and there is a difference in how they treated me.

i had one friend who I thought was my friend but in social situations she would treat me like an idiot and I felt it was my weight.

i was in my car the other day and got called a fat c u next Tuesday

my dd’s friends have made comments

I am a size 24 although I think it started when I was a size 16/18

You've met with some really rude cruel people.

How dare anyone comment or call someone such a vile name.

I'm sure it has made you feel this way.

I have friends who are all different shapes and sizes, I wouldn't dislike anyone based on their physical appearance.

im so sorry you’ve had those experiences xx

I’m a size 22 and although I feel self conscious about my size I haven’t (yet) had anyone insult me on the basis of my size. I have friends and people seem to be friendly to me out and about.

I work for the fire service so a lot of my colleagues are pretty fit but none of them have made me feel bad for my size (I have no idea what they’re thinking in their heads).

“You've met with some really rude cruel people.”

Yes, you have. Being deliberately unkind is much much worse than being fat in my opinion. Says more about them than you.

Absolutely!

I’ve had men make thise truck backing up beebing sounds to me.

When younger, my ”friends” never took pictures with me on our night outs.

People telling me to loose weight.
Some claimed to care about my health (while they smoked/drank/some did drugs)

Been told I’ll never have a husband (sadly they were right)

Just endless amount of rude comments, like c’mon, did I ask?

Hating overweight women people is the one bigotry that is still openly excepted.

I agree that with friends and family they see you as you,but strangers can be very jjudgemental re weight.

I had a rather unique experience in that due to a health problem I ballooned from a size 12 to a 20 over about 3 months. Because it happened so quickly, I really noticed how differently people reacted to me. Not my proper close people, but strangers would give me disgusted looks, I had comments, people were less friendly in general. So yes, I definitely think that in general, people dislike you more easily if you are fat. Those people are knobs, obviously, but sadly there are many many knobs in the world.

Yes, I agree. Fat men don’t get any “body positivity” message trying to tell them it’s OK, whereas there is a very clear and concerted effort to normalize and even celebrate obesity in women.

A man’s friends seem far more likely to tell him that he needs to take better care of himself whereas it seems almost expected now that a woman’s friends will tell her “you go girl, you’re fabulous as you are!”

I think there's a certain type of person, usually popular although not well loved who will divide people around her in to high status and low status. She makes a lot of effort with the high status people but will try to use the low status people to make herself feel better. A covert scapegoating narc. I'll be labelled cynical damaged or bitter perhaps but although it's only happened to me a couple of times, they behaved in a text book parallel of each other's behaviour. Mad. I'm a single parent, no car, no husband, no glam job, average looking but I have noticed that in a group there can be one person who is fawning over the high status people and well, this type has two personalities on the go.
Can an association with you validate me and make me look good?

1. yes
2. no.

If the answer is 2 then expect frostiness.

As an adult I have been 9st and I have been 16st, I currently lie a healthy weight between the 2, I could probably do with getting a stone off but I'm not fat, as such. I agree the way I'm treated is different and often that difference is very subtle and only on analysis can you see it, sometimes it's glaringly obvious too.

I have people who love me at any size, luckily one of those is dh. I have friends who like to have me around and I have colleagues who show me respect. I also have some friends, family and colleagues who have an outwardly appearance of love and respect but you can see a subtle difference, you get from small comments and looks that they just are thinking otherwise.

I know in certain situations it's how I feel about myself that has the effect but often it isn't, they have a bias and there's nothing you can do about it. People saying this isn't a 'thing' are wrong, it has been proven to be a 'thing' but many many studies.

I think you’re probably right. Being overweight is seen as having lost some control

I put on weight due to illness at one time. To nice people it made no difference, but to some of the school mums were hell, examples are making a point of looking me up and down to assess what I was wearing and then making a face, or saying "ooh are YOU cycling today?" with a tinkly sarcastic laughs and generally making hints about my laziness etc. It hurt like hell.. I lost the weight and the acquaintances. Its a good way to identify the good folk.

I’ve got a “friend” who loves to eat out in really nice restaurants, posts it all on Instagram etc. When we are due to meet up she always chooses cheap cafes and then glares at me whilst I eat a pastry with my coffee and she sits there with a glass of water. Just one of many examples. I am pretty resilient to just brushing it off, I do think it says more about them than me but I feel very bad for those who are hurt by it.

I have literally no idea what point you are trying to make here. Is she overweight? Are you? What has the cost of the venue got to do with the thread?