To think being fat makes people dislike you?

[Lordylord1]

….?
i really feel the difference since I put on weight and find myself more lonely

@Whitesapphire all the fat women you've encountered have given you envious looks? Really?

Interesting question! I was thinking about this a while ago when out with an established group of friends. One of them had brought out a new friend along to introduce her to us all. She spent the majority of the night making a massive effort with the louder, prettier members of the group- and pretty much completely ignored me. As I'm quite confident usually I couldn't figure out why- other than the fact that I'm much larger than the others? 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s incredible how different our realities/worlds are.
They really couldn't be more opposite!

@Whitesapphire I couldn't agree more, I may be fat but I wouldn't dream of making bitter remarks about other slim women. I can't deny I'm a little envious inside, but that's my problem and I won't say so. I might say you look lovely in that dress, but say nothing about size.

I have been known to crack a fat joke at my own expense, but normally in a confident way, not in an embarrassed or apologetic way. I'm not sorry, I do have a mirror. I covet slimness of course, but I don't resent thin women for it. I just look longingly at how nicely their clothes fit.

Definitely. A long time ago when I was very obese I started a new job which involved shadowing one of the current workers for 2 weeks. She would collect me in her car and take me to the different sites. She was lovely and friendly. They all were. Then I made the mistake of having a nosey at her Facebook. Under one post I found this exchange -

"You working tomorrow?"
"Yes. I'm collecting BadNomad <vomit emoji>"
"Lmao so you're taking the forklift tomorrow then"
"Lol with all the windows down!"

I hadn't even met the other girl, but this was their attitude (in private) about me for no other reason than I was fat. I left after a few years. Started a new job. Everyone was lovely. I lost a lot of weight. Then, sitting at lunch one day, an overweight lady from the other office walked into the canteen. They started talking about her.

"Jesus Christ she's some size now."
"She got big after the first baby, but NOTHING like this."
"I feel bad for her husband."
"Yeah, it can't be fun climbing up on that."

Etc.

They NEVER spoke like that in front of me when I was fat. So I can only assume they forgot I used to be. So, yeah, in my experience, people don't like fat people. What people say to your face is nothing like what they say behind your back.

You are wrong. I have a relative who is obese, and of course I care about it.

You seem to be implying that obesity is not a major health issue. Hopefully I am misunderstanding, as that would be quite an ignorant opinion.

You are coming across as very unpleasant, suggesting that no-one should care about their family’s health.

Jesus @BadNomad I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't believe people are so stupid to write stuff like that on their SM. That old saying 'I can lose weight but you'll always be stupid' really counts for you.

People do it with age too. I have naturally dark hair. Sometimes I let it grow out to all grey. Other times I dye it dark again. I definitely get treated differently depending on how old people think I am. Although sometimes it's nice to appear old and invisible when it suits me.

I have at various times in my life been a size 8 and a size 18. I agree there's definitely a difference in the way you're treated - it's as if you lose intelligence as you gain weight! However I'd argue I notice it more with the way other women treat me than men.

I a very fat and find people are generally very positive with me. I wonder if it’s the ‘fat and jolly’ thing - not seen as a threat or someone to impress, just a fat, smiley woman who likes a chat. I make an effort with my enormously fat appearance and am always friendly and polite, and seem to get this reflected back more often than not.

I'm fat and went grey very prematurely... doubly offensive to the rest of the world.. however I have bigger problems to deal with ( the cause of my over eating ) and the rest of the world's disgust is low down my priority list...

Size 22 and not aware of this, but perhaps people quietly dislike or don’t make an effort with me sometimes. I don’t notice it at work or with my friends.

Absolutely, I’ve been up and down my whole life, I am now 5 stone slimmer than before lock down and the way I am treated is entirely different. You definitely notice the difference and it’s not that I am more confident blah blah blah, I have always made an effort and always been confident. If anything a confident fat person is hated more for having the gall not to be apologetic about it.

its men mostly but women can be equally shallow.

I’ll be honest because most people won’t be. I find obesity really really off-putting and offensive. I truly believe this is because it signifies that the person is extremely unhealthy. Similarly a very very thin person would trigger feelings of disgust. No, I wouldn’t comment out loud. But these are my thoughts. We are all entitled to our private thoughts and I suspect there is some leakage via non-verbals.
I don’t know how realistic it is to expect any different.

Absolutely. I have been overweight since i was about 7, been a size 16+ since age 15 and currently am an 18-20. (according to primark sizing)

I've been abused my entire life, from school bullies to having multiple instances of strangers (usually group of teens) shout fat abuse at me across the street, never seen them before, minding my own business, completely unprovoked. Also find in the case of any disagreement with someone, e.g getting pushed past in a shop, no matter how civil and polite i am, most who feel the need to say something to me, always jump straight to a fat insult.
For instance yesterday, 2 teen girls ran across the dual carriage way in front of us making us have to brake sharply to not hit them, their response was to yell "fat cunt" at me, and i wasn't even the driver!

Being fat isn't socially acceptable, it gets a lot of negative judgement. It's like if you're not slim enough for someone to find you attractive they take offense to your size like its a slight to them, assume you're lazy/greedy and look down on you like you're a lesser being. I've never recieved a single compliment or positive attention from someone i dont know in person, or who doesn't get to know me online annonymously first before seeing a picture of me.

I wish i was invisible, i hate being looked at by people because i'm so embarrassed and ashamed of how i look and the way i get automatically disliked for it.

Do you find people with cancer and other chronic health conditions similarly offensive?

Yes it appears to be seen as a moral failing. I remember my mother’s generation being very strict about how much women should eat. Being greedy was a huge failing and not eating was almost as good as being pious. I am the same shape whether I eat or not as I have found out but I do remember being slimmer and having more friends. I wish all my fat would just melt away.

No I dont think it makes any difference OP x

My experience (size 22) is that people who have issues with their OWN bodies are critical of fat people. I actually think the snide comments and nasty behaviours are their self-critical inner voice coming out.

There may be exceptions, but in general, those who are happy with themselves, whatever their size, do not have issues with how other people look.

Isn't being fat a bit trendy at the moment. I see lots of larger women in lycra and tiny dresses and they are not the 'standard' body type. When I was younger that would be unheard of, you would have to cover up. Fair play to them.

Are you suggesting that most obese people are that way because of a health condition? I don’t think that that’s correct. The rise in obesity in recent decades doesn’t fit in with that at all.

@ImWell I'm not suggesting - obesity is considered a chronic disease in both Europe and the US.

www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(21)00145-5/fulltext

I've noticed the opposite - people are much nicer and approach me more now I'm fat.

What an odd view. Total bullshit obviously. I've got loads of friends of every height and weight. Utter rubbish. Says more about you than it does about the view!

I can’t speak for most people, but some of us are obese because it’s a side effect of medications we take. Lifestyles have become more sedentary over the last 30 years or so: however, there’s also been an increase in the use of medications that have a side-effect of causing weight gain (e.g. steroids) or messing up your metabolism. I made a choice - having never been overweight in my life - to take a medication to keep me alive. My health is poor now generally, yet I know I’d be dead already without it. If anyone wants to judge me for that, they can go right ahead.

Yes. It’s the one upside to being a tubster, you learn very quickly which people are utter cunts.