To think being fat makes people dislike you?

[Lordylord1]

….?
i really feel the difference since I put on weight and find myself more lonely

Unfortunately, there are some very shallow people among us who will automatically see a larger person and judge them negatively. Fatphobia will always exist. I will add though that very thin people also get judged. I'm larger now, but have also been very thin and received some horrible comments when I was. My mum was also very thin due to having Graves' disease and people used to comment on it all the time, her 'friends' included.
I'm currently laid beside a swimming pool in France, there are bodies of all shapes and sizes, in their swimwear, all having fun, and it's glorious to see.

And yes, some people blatantly treat you like crap, others are more subtle - but there is a definite proportion of society who look down on fat people. All the way through school, my best friend was fat, and I saw up-close the impact it had on her … 30 years later, health problems mean I’m experiencing it myself for the first time.

Yes really. I’ve actually been with her on holiday and she managed to get seriously good looking matches on tinder. I was super thin at that time and we went into a shop and there was this super good looking guy that we both liked who worked there and he ignored me and only had eyes for my friend. She’s married now and her husband isn’t very good looking but he has one of the highest paying jobs there is and is very charming. He certainly could have attracted a very slim lady had he wanted to.

I must add that my friend has a gorgeous face and is very skilled with makeup.
She has beautiful hair and nice clothes, always wearing perfume etc. She’s also very outgoing and friendly with others

@Ponoka7 it's to do with confidence and aura I reckon. Some people just attract others no matter what weight people are. When I was a size 16 to 20, and up til I was about 50 I used to receive nice male attention, (i dont mean that they were falling over themselves) not that I ever acted on it as I'm married. I was just outgoing, had the banter. My oldest friends, who love me for who I am, used to comment on how I got more attention & their slimmer selves did not. They thought I was just a natural flirt without even realising it. So sometimes it must be that mysterious aura people have.
Now I'm in my mid 50's and have took the fat problem to another level - I'm a size 22/24 - I get diddly squat in terms of male attention, even from 50 something blokes carrying a bit of weight themselves. Apart from my husband.
I see other women my age who are still slim & make the most of themselves who do still get the attention. I'm not bothered either way to be honest, quite happy being invisible.
The one thing I'm worried about is my husbands Xmas do. Not had a decent do for years so not seen his colleagues & some of the younger ones i've never even met. This year there is a do & I'm worried what they'll all think & I'll feel embarrassed for him showing his obese wife off to them all.

It makes arseholes happy they have something to hurl abuse at you over.

Nasty people will always find something to be nasty about. It's what makes them feel less bad about the fact they're pieces of shit.

Wow, you sound like your issues run way deeper than theirs.

But what’s the difference between worrying about someone smoking and worrying that they are obese? Both are serious health concerns. Why should they be viewed differently?

I'm not sure how else to say it so you'll understand....the size of someone's body isn't your business. You have NO idea of a person's health so stop repeating the same shite about concern for health, because it isn't that at all.

I don't know if yabu, mostly it doesn't even occur to me. The only time I have ever felt antipathy towards anyone because they were heavier was a flight home from Canada, sat beside a lady who was so large that she was jammed between her arm rests and the rest of her invaded my seat, pressed up against my arm and my thigh. She was so large she was also very sweaty and I spent 7 hours sharing her bodily fluids. It was horrible but the flight was full.

I didn't say a word and I tried not to let it show but by Heathrow, I wasn't feeling very charitable. 😓

🤣
Deeper than strangers hurling abuse from their vehicles for example?

I don't think so.

If someone enjoys verbally abusing strangers then they have a pretty big issue and it's not because they feel terribly strongly about fat people. It's because they're twats who like to hurl abuse at people. Fat is an easy target.

I’ve been fat and I’ve been slim and I’ve been everything in between and I’ve honestly noticed no difference in the way people treat me either way.

If you feel unhappy or depressed about your weight, maybe that’s what’s making you feel more lonely? Or if you’re being very downbeat and negative as a result, maybe that makes people think you’re not feeling sociable? I think it’s a lot more likely that you’d see a drop-off in friendships for that reason - most people aren’t really bothered about their friends putting on weight but if someone is very miserable and gloomy and feeling sorry for themselves, that might make them difficult company.

I definitely got more attention when I was thin. I'm fat now and have great friends but I'm much more invisible to people (which I like)

It's sad but people do unfortunately make snap judgments about people's habits and personality based on their weight. I was talking to a personal trainer about this the other day. If many people are honest they assume overweight people might be lazy and/or greedy. It shouldn't be the case but of course a lot of people do make assumptions based on first impressions.

I have a friend who is very overweight. Another ‘friend’ was vile about her, calling her greedy and lazy. I’m no longer in touch with the latter ‘friend’, but I know she’s not the only person with those thoughts.

As a big girl (4st overweight) I've only ever received mean comments from men (and my mom). I have great friends, I'm doing well in my studies and I'm generally a confident person

Yes I do think generally speaking people are a lot less forgiving of fat people. They see it as some kind of moral failing. I've seen people surreptitiously take pictures of fat people eating or walking down the road. It's not all in your head.

I haven't read all of the comments but honestly 'fat cunt/bitch/cow' is the standard male dickhead driver insult. I'm 9 stone and solid muscle and got called a fat bitch by a driver the other day. They just see female and think fat is the go to insult.

Having a WhatsApp group about your weight is absolutely vile and shitty.

Yes - people make snap judgements about other people based on all kinds of things - their clothes, job, house, the area they live in, how many children they have. Some people believe people in low earning jobs are lazy.

Nobody :dislikes: you when you are fat
But you might be viewed differently .. or seen as less attractive yes

But not less liked.

This is so true!

How horrible for you. 😕 There are far worse things to be than fat, and one of them is being a dick to people.

I'm fat - about a size 20 - and I'm mostly invisible to strangers, especially men. But apart from a snarky comment from a little twat when I was running (shuffling), I don't think I've ever gotten abuse for it. Friends and family accept me for who I am (thank fuck), and work colleagues seem relieved to meet me in person and discover I'm far less intimidating than my job title implies!

I suspect that is because I'm fat and non-threatening, I laugh a lot and I'm not a knob. That's OK, that gives me a silent advantage when I do have to have a difficult conversation.

Honestly, I think you've just been hanging around with arseholes. Most people are far too busy obsessing about themselves to be bitching about you, so there's a special place in hell reserved for anyone who sets up a WhatsApp group. 🙄

What did you feel?

Me too.

I am a thin woman. My experience with fat women is that they are the ones always making comments about weight and what everyone is eating, saying I am ‘skinny’, giving envious looks, and just being bitter in general. So no, I don’t particularly like them, but not because they are fat, I could not care less what size someone else is, it’s the behaviours which come with it.

@xJoyfulCalmWisdomx How do you define 'high status' and 'low status'?