‘Oh she looks so much like you, or me when I was younger or just basically anyone like you, the mother’

[OhDoOne77]

Not said like this obviously, but may aswell be.
Sil has always said and still continues to say how much Dd (4) looks like Dh or failing that, looks like her when she was younger (nothing like her) or their mum etc…or brother…just basically anyone but me.
It pissed me off when Dd was a baby but royally pisses me off now, as she says it in front of her

Aibu to feel rage?

*Than you, the mother

I was so angry, I forgot to type properly…not really but kind of

*Other than you, the mother’

See! 🙈😅

I get this too
they are ridiculous
if there’s a solution or retort, I’m all ears!

My DD is the spit of my sister. Not me. 😱

People thought my son was adopted because he looked nothing like me. A carbon copy of his dad, as was my second son. Now the eldest looks like a young version of my dad.

My MIL tells everyone our DC are “100% their dad” 🙄. She’s not the sharpest tool in the box.

I wouldn't worry. I don't think its meant to annoy you.

If it bothered me this much I'd probably dig up a load of photos. Don't let her beat you at the my dd looks like game!!!!

This wouldn't bother me at all.

One of Dbro daughters is the image of our sister.

My DD looks very like my first cousin who I have not seen since she was a similar age to my DD now.

My DS takes after my Dbro.

@MyLifeIsFictional That’s okay, your sister, but not your sister in law or at least she *Thinks she is

@OnlyEverAutumn 🤣 Ffs

DH EW told him the day DS2 was born that he looked just like their first DS. DS2 looks very like me

Does she actually look just like you as a toddler/young child? If that’s the case, show your Dd a picture of you at her age or younger and watch as she declares the child in the picture is her!
If that doesn’t work/is super unlikely then make a mental list of all your traits (physical and personality) that you see in her. Drop them into the annoying chat about family ressemblances to piss off your inlaws. Or just tell your dd about them whenever ´when mummy was a little girl’ conversations happen. She’ll bring up your similarities in the rage inducing family comparisons herself.

@Sometimeswinning I'm not sure..maybe it’s meant to piss me off, because who actually keeps saying that?
it’s as if she’s one of us…no she’s not 🤣

@OhDoOne77 fml! She’s never liked me - the children only give her something else to use against me 🙄. Daft woman didn’t realise they’d get old enough to see through it though - her mistake. 🤷‍♀️

I’m not really sure what you’re annoyed about? Surely this is a normal thing, people thinking people look like people, especially when they’re related? My dad thinks my child looks like him as a child. So what? This seems a weird thing to be annoyed about, unless there is some big back story?

That’s okay, your sister, but not your sister in law or at least she Thinks she is*
It is perfectly possible for a DC to look like her fathers sister, the female version of Father.

@EmeraldShamrock1 Thats a bit different…but your in laws and them forever saying it to you?

Yabu and a bit precious too.

@EmeraldShamrock1 Yes I realise it’s possible 🤷🏻‍♀️😅just many might not be that keen that’s all

My issue is always being told by my sil how much Dd looks like my Dh or like her or their mum or their brother…she doesn’t

Mil used to do this, I then showed her a photo of me age 4 and she thought it was DD! She then changed comments to personality stuff that is 'same as x person on dh side of family'

I think my brother looks a lot like Ed Sheeran, and they’re definitely not related! Just let it go! Really not sure why you care so much, it’s such a normal thing to do in my experience.

My in laws have a different variation. Talk a lot about how our blond blue eyed DC don’t resemble their family at all (southern Mediterranean so all olive skin dark eyes and hair).

they, especially MIL and PIL have never acknowledged that they get that from me, or that DC1 is the image of me (which is what everyone else, including strangers comment on often).

im not sure whether they really can’t see it or they are so self centred (they are v self centred) they are only looking for resemblance to them. So they see the resemblance to me / my side but never note it as THEIR family is all that matters.

it is what it is.turns out I’ve got strong genes so I don’t really care what they think / pretend not to see.

it honestly just sounds like something people say without thinking. An excited aunt commenting on a resemblance. If she doesn’t have form for being horrid I honestly don’t think it’s meant as a slight. Try not to let it get to you, it really doesn’t sound like something to get her up about

@dmask Because it’s sil, who isn’t that nice a person anyway and because she literally sits there and says Dd looks like every person in her family as if I’m not there and don’t exist. Perhaps I am being too precious/sensitive, but feels like a dig to me , just the vibe I get.

People just see the person they know best/at that age - the kids will have aspects of both sides of the family & they're spotted by respective sides of the family.

My DS is hard to distinguish from photos of my brother or my uncle at similar ages but MIL sees DH as a boy because she loves them both 🤷‍♀️