Hitler argument

[Birchtree1]

Just had a massive argument with my husband.
He thinks our son is a leader....( I think he has adhd) he has been pointing it out for a while. He has just mentioned it again and said he is a leader and Hitler was a leader too. Now. ...I lost my shit Hitler killed millions of people and was an ego maniac amd narcissistic asshole. ( in my opinion) apparently I am not normal with this opinion and he doesn't want to talk to me and whatever happened he was still a leader!? I just spoke to my children re our German heritage and the Jews and gypsies and lots of other minorities which I didn't want to do just yet as they are 5 and 8 years old. My husband is refusing to talk to me as I really lost my shit.
He could have mentioned Churchill or whoever ...but mentioning Hitler as an example of leadership? Apparently it is being taught at schools in this county!?!!?

He thinks our son is a leader....( I think he has adhd)

This is a weird statement. You know that leaders can have adhd right?

I wondered this too op. What do you mean?

Did Hitler not have people murdered in order to consolidate his power in Germany?

Night Of The Long Knives was a purge instigated by Adolf Hitler. From.this came his Enabling Act 1933 and from his Emergency Powers Act came his first concentration camps. He was now an Absolute Dictator.

Dictator: a ruler with total power over a country, typically one who has obtained control by force.

Hitler was a dictator by definition.

He was both. He was elected before he was a dictator.

He's actually a great example of a charismatic leader and why that isn't necessarily a good thing.

From another German- I would lose my shit. Hitler is the very example of what happens when people lose their abilty of critical thinking and blindly follow an authoritarian regime. And current British politics deeply worry me because I can see a tendency that they try to achieve the same …

You are missing the point. I don't mind our son having issues but I do mind him to be compared to Hitler. Particularly as I am German and have had to live with our history.

Naturally, you would be seriously offended by your OH using Hitler as an example. I think most people would, including non-Germans in the same way they'd be offended at Mussolini, Franco, Stalin, Lenin and Saddam Hussein being used as examples of leadership.

Given how many examples of leadership around the world, your OH should have chosen someone else. It's common knowledge you don't mention Hitler or the war to Germans like that.

Especially as Germany still struggles to let go of lingering guilt.

Obviously he can be a leader even if he has adhd/ autism etc but as a German I don't want him compared to people like Hitler particularly due to my heritage. And by the way he isn't like a mini Hitler he is a little boy with issues and I already dislike the fact my husband calls him a leader when he sees him with other children. He thinks it's a great trait while I don't agree as it doesn't make you s popular play friend. And that's all my little boy wants and all I want for him! Whoever say my 8 year old is a leader when seeing him play with his friends and subsequently says Hitler was a leader too to little boys mum!?

Danke, ich weiß es auch nicht! Deine nachricht hat geholfen! Ich hab versucht ihm klar zu machen wie mist das war aber er schnallt es nicht und will nicht mit mir darübrr reden.
Excuse the German!

Depends where they're leading you to though. Doesn't it.

He could have mentioned Churchill or whoever ...but mentioning Hitler as an example of leadership? Apparently it is being taught at schools in this county!?!!?

I can virtually guarantee it isn't

And where do you hope this might lead to?

So your Ds acts like a mini dictator is that why you're so sensitive about this?

As honestly from what you put on your original post it didn't sound all that deep

The leadership qualities of Hitler and similar is an interesting debate to have, in the right context and setting.

To choose Hitler as the example of a leader to whom your son was being compared is just weird.

Awww thanks! Wasn't planning for a 'deep' post just soem advice. And he isn't acting like a dictator. If you read back its about being a leader and me objecting to a Hitler comparison as he was a dictator!!!! But never mind!

@Birchtree1

The behaviour you described in your recent post about your son was on the dictator side over leader, so I can see why you're annoyed at him being called a leader when it seems he is making excuses for shit behaviour

Which is why I suspect you feel so strongly about this.

I agree that from a philosophical point of view that is a very intersting question. I can fully understand why the op dorsn‘t want her son to be Part of the experiment though!

My son isn't neurotypical and has some issues but he is not a dictator. I personally wouldn't call him a leader either. His father does.
I simply object to him being compared to Hitler...or putin or stalin or Kim Jong un. What is your problem with me and my post PollyRockets? Don't be after me I was just looking for support!

OP I’m so sorry your DH did this. It’s thoroughly obnoxious. I live in Germany and my husband is German, I kind of get how utterly offensive it is. I cannot imagine why he would say something that dumb to his German wife, about his child.

Und das ist gut so:)ich liebe dieses Forum und hab hier so viel gelernt aber leider nehmen auch hier die Querdenker zu 😚

I would be really concerned at this content with a child of that age. With an older teen or adult I think you could have an interesting conversation about what makes a leader by using examples of people who did horrendous evil things but took a lot of people along with them- Hitler would certainly be one example of that kind of leader, but there are others from the twentieth century (Pol Pot for example, or Idi Amin).

From another German- I would lose my shit. Hitler is the very example of what happens when people lose their abilty of critical thinking and blindly follow an authoritarian regime. And current British politics deeply worry me because I can see a tendency that they try to achieve the same

yes - quite a lot of us are worried about that too........…

I think he does. Which is precisely the point: the OP knows he was trying to hurt her by using this comparison. It's why arguments about whether or not Hitler was a leader are supremely missing the point.

It's obvious there are some serious issues in your relationship, and YANBU to not want your child to be compared to Hitler

What are your husband's politics usually? Is he hard right wing? I'd leave any man who's default example of a 'leader' was Hitler.

And this gives me hope! Please don‘t lose your voice I still think you are the majority :)