Why does DH do this?

[novocaned]

Conversation from earlier.

Him: where’s the mayo?
Me: in the fridge (obviously)
Him: what shelf?
Me: just have a look!
Him: would save a lot of time if you just told me which shelf

This happens often and I t’s infuriating. I do happen to know it’s on the 2nd shelf but why is he even asking? How much time is he going to save?! It’s not like a restaurant-style walk in fridge ffs. Does he just think I’m here to facilitate his life?

Use your eyes not your mouth!

It’s not just men & boys - IME teenaged girls can be equally lazy, which leaves me as the ultimate Keeper of All Things in my house. However, I’m already the Organiser of All Things, so being a walking talking spoon-feeding signpost on top of that is not a bit of wifework I’m prepared to take on.

Where’s the mayo?
in the microwave
wheres the mayo?
in the garden
wheres the mayo?
under the bed
If he’s going to ask stupid questions… 🤷🏻‍♀️

To be fair, this isn't just a man thing, all of my kids do it (two of whom are female) and my sister does it.

Not entirely the same, but reminds me of a Larry David episode where someone at a dinner party spills something and his mil shouts 'quick, somebody get a sponge!' and Larry replies, 'Why don't you get a sponge?'.
In my house it's often quoted at me as I'm the laziest. Sometimes I actually wait for dh to be nearer something than I am so I can ask him to get it...

Yes yes to also holding a smartphone and asking questions I would have to Google. Or asking the time because he can’t be arsed to get his phone out his pocket.

Answering these questions takes away valuable time I could be wasting on Mumsnet obvs

My boilerplate response to this question is “I don’t know you need to look for it”. No further discussion.

After a while it sinks in.

My DP and DD now know better than to ask most of the time.

You need to stop knowing stuff like that.

Maybe relax a bit. No one is perfect. It’s not much of a big deal. You might also do something just as infuriating but he has gotten over it. Be at peace with it…except it, look after your blood pressure. If he says thanks for your help then feel good that you helped out and he appreciates it.

I’ll have you know I am a total dream to be married to.

This is such a man thing I think, mine can never find anything. Stands in front of open cupboards saying someone's moved the mustard or didn't you buy x, y z etc. Won't actually move anything in the cupboard to look 🙄

”Not sure.”

”Don’t know.”

”No idea.”

”Where you left it.”

Get comfortable with these. 😆

Stock phrases in this house include:

Why would I know where you put it?
Where you left it.
Have you used your eyes?
Where you last saw it.
I don't know, I'm not Google.

Can't we have any lighthearted threads these days without someone getting on their high horse?

How large is your fridge ?

Huh? I often ask my husband where stuff in the fridge is. Sometimes the shelves are pretty full, and I can’t see what’s at the back. If he can pinpoint the shelf, then I’m not pulling stuff out unnecessarily. Not sure what the big deal is here.

My dh used to actively ask me where things were until recently. Even things that are his, that he had last. “Where’s my belt/keys/blue jeans…”
i think I’d had enough one night & he changed it to “have you seen/do you know where my belt/keys/blue jeans are?”
much easier to say no to this one.

I always tell DP to ask the office manager. That, or that my magical X-ray vision is broken today, has he tried using his looking eyes.

Gloriously, DD has picked up on this and pipes up, “Lookin’ eyes, Daddy” if he so much as breathes.

I've started answering with "I don't know" which pisses my husband off 🤣

DH used to do this alot.

I now just say, "I don't know. I suppose you could look/google/check/ask."

He's doing it less lately.

In my house, this is called “the man look”
DH opens the fridge/ pantry and says “we don’t have any xyz”. I say “yes we do, I ordered it”. He then huffs, sighs, ineffectually moves stuff around and still insists we don’t have it. I ignore him, then he finds it. I then give him the evil eye and he sheepishly says “I was having a man look”…..My DH is educated, articulate and successful at work, but my god, he cannot see things on a shelf right in front of him!!

Why does he think that Op knows where stuff is in the fridge if he doesn't?

Him: where’s the mayo?
Me: in the fridge (obviously)
Him: what shelf?
Me: I think the bottom shelf
Him: Nope it's not there, oh wait it's on the second
Me: ahh could have sworn I put it on the first, never mind glad you found it, can I have a sandwich too

Do this 3-4 times he'll stop asking

but my god, he cannot see things on a shelf right in front of him!!

Maybe he keeps hoping that you'll look to save him the bother?