To think after a certain age, you just can’t enjoy life the same?

[Watchingteeandmotogether]

Say…38-40 ish?

I’m 44 and life is mainly good, but I’ve noticed a huge shift in the feel I just feel inside from around 40/41 maybe?
I had my Dd later at 40 and it’s incredible but I suppose it brings stresses with it, worrying about family members illnesses creeping in, worrying about retirement etc.
Life sort of loses that glow, that excite bet and easiness…and fun 🤷🏻‍♀️It just feels like there’s a lot more *Stuff and barely any time

Is it just me?

I’ve noticed I worry now more than ever, and I’ve always been a worrier. And it’s hard to be carefree about nights out because of perimenopause wrecking my sleep, I’m always worrying about being too late to bed or having too much alcohol which also wrecks sleep. On the plus side I’m more confident in myself and what I have to offer and am the healthiest and fittest I’ve ever been.

Having children forces you to settle down. No more freedom or spontaneity for quite a while. You'll get it back eventually, though. As long as you don't get roped into grandchild rearing.

I also agree with pp about mums who do everything, give up everything and resent it all eventually. My mum did that. I am determined not to do the same. So I do the things I love and don’t give a shit what people think of me going solo raving at 45!🤣

You're not washed up and old. You're just tired from having a small child. It's relentless. Can you get any help at all. From friends, family, paid help. Anything?
I'm still annoyed with myself how much I tried to do it all without help and without a break. And I was a similar age to you.

Anyway, I'm also 60 and life is pretty good. I'm so glad I had my kids. Apart from the occasional worries about them they enhance my life immeasurably. I do all kinds of fun things I didn't use to do when I was younger because I prioritise my own pleasure and because I'm less self conscious.

Ebbs and flows op depends what stage you're at with family etc

I'm 50 and my dd is up and out now and that's given me a new lease of life.

Young kids are lovely but also hard work! There's a reason we're most fertile in early 20's in my opinion I'd have been KNACKERED having a kid late 30's /40's

My favourite saying is

This too shall pass - and it does everything does it's all a phase

It’s the young kids. I’m 47 with teens and feel better than ever. I’ve been able to lean in (sorry I know that term is annoying) at work because I don’t have to worry about childcare, I can take time to go to the gym and focus on myself because my kids are out/busy a lot, DH and I can go out for a drink without a sitter. The only thing we can’t do is travel as a couple because our kids can’t be left overnight yet and we don’t have family nearby to stay over. Hang in there OP, it will turn around

I'm late 50s and life is great!

I struggled a few years back with teenage DC and caring for elderly relatives but things are a lot calmer now. And 20 years ago I found newborn and toddler times difficult - but that soon passes (although it seems to last forever when you are going through it!

Hopefully things will get better for you as well .

That doesn't seem to be the experience of a lot of older posters on this thread.

Seems to def be parenthood then! Amazing as it is in parts, it’s full on!

I think it’s that sandwich generation cliche. Babies, older parents, crunch time for careers. It’s exciting to think better days are coming and it’s not just decline from here on out. Weirdly this thread has made me quite optimistic!

In 30 years time you will look at photos of yourself right now and think ‘ I was sooo young why didn’t I do more XXXXX’

I’m 42 and feel the same. Kids are primary school aged - so I’m out of the really tiring parenting stage but it’s still relentless esp in the summer holidays.
feel tired, old and like there is always a health issue - something or other to treat - or get checked out or worry about.
I think it’s parenting more than age (at least that’s what I’m hoping reading some of the responses here!)

I think this thread highlights that there are lots of advantages to having DC a bit earlier in life.

I’m not sure about this. It’s swings and roundabouts I think here.

It would definitely be nice to be 50 with an empty nest and it’s true that you will probably be in better health once your children move out if you are younger when you had them.

But I think there are disadvantages to having kids young too. If you haven’t lived as an independent adult before getting together with a spouse and don’t know yourself when you disappear into the rabbit hole of raising children it’s much harder to emerge from it later. Particularly if you don’t have your own money.

I had my kids early so they are more or less independent, though one was v badly affected by the pandemic. I do think I have become more cynical as I get older, probably as a result of being disappointed by everyone in my life. I am probably disappointing them as well.

Have not RTFT but disagree!
I would have agreed when I was you r age Andrei in the v think of kids/challenging job/marital discord -it v seemed like a grind.
But now I am late 50s kids leaving uni, split with H and life has never been better. So much joy and friendship and fun. Friends say I glow because O have never been happier!

Youth is wasted on the young

I had my dc late 30s and still having a blast at 50, teenagers and all.

Teenagers are great fun!