To think after a certain age, you just can’t enjoy life the same?

[Watchingteeandmotogether]

Say…38-40 ish?

I’m 44 and life is mainly good, but I’ve noticed a huge shift in the feel I just feel inside from around 40/41 maybe?
I had my Dd later at 40 and it’s incredible but I suppose it brings stresses with it, worrying about family members illnesses creeping in, worrying about retirement etc.
Life sort of loses that glow, that excite bet and easiness…and fun 🤷🏻‍♀️It just feels like there’s a lot more *Stuff and barely any time

Is it just me?

I think I'm in full blown midlife crisis mode, and I fucking hope it gets better from here before I do something very stupid.

Definitely think it’s related to having young children. I’m 48 but had my dses much younger.

Having young dc is hard!

I hate my job but I do love life and enjoy the freedom to go away without the dses or out for the day which is great.

I do plan to scale back work in a few years time as dh is older and recently retired and I hope to enjoy life more at that point.

@EllenWaiteourkid Lovely post and you are so right.

My 20s were hell, whereas now I'm in my 50s I'm a lot happier.

Gets better as your kids need you less. However there's a physical limitation - once the wheels come off the fitness/mobility wheel it gets worse

40s are the dip in most peoples happiness

Most people pick up once they reach their 50s

I’m 49 next week. I am currently drinking margaritas round a pool in Mexico. Yesterday I swam in an underwater cave with my teenage children.

Tomorrow we are kayaking down a river.

what you’ve got is a case of toddleritis. It’s nothing to do with your actual age. It gets better again.

I think life sort of does lose its glow after having kids. That’s not to say it isn’t rewarding but my life never felt the same again.

Having said that I feel like the “glow” is most certainly returning now and in my early 40s my kids will be in their 20s so YABU. My 40s will spell much, much more freedom.

@Crikeyalmighty thank you.

I am not channelling Pollyanna every day, but it certainly shapes your thinking.

I'm in my mid 50s, my son is grown up, has his own place and is doing well in his career.
I have a new job which will hopefully see me through to retirement, I live with my wonderful DP and we are blissfully happy, we're mortgage fee and although I worry about the state of the country/world basically I'm happier than I have ever been.
My 30s and early forties were the most unhappy years for me because I was in a really bad marriage. The last 10-12 years i honestly feel like I've been reborn.

I've felt like this since about 20 and don't have kids! Everything is always a slog. Never much money left to have fun, nothing to really look forward to.

I'm 35 and feel this way. I don't have kids. There seems to be little joy out there at the moment. I wake up every day feeling like I'm suffocating under all the responsibilties I have, worries about family members and my parents, bills, rental problems, whether I'm going to get made redundant in 6 months time, whether I'm making my partner happy, the time pressure to decide whether to have kids, etc. Also every time life starts to settle down something ludicrous happens and tips everything upside down, so I'm constantly just waiting for the next adverse event.

We need to make more time for ourselves, but it's hard. And then it is often impossible to fully switch off and recharge when we actually get a chance to.

miserable gits.

I really love my life and I'm older than you! Perhaps you are menopausal or sleep deprived with a little one? Or tbh there's a lot to grind someone down right now with energy bills, Tory rubbish, Ukraine, etc.

Bowie was 69 and making music right up until he died. Yes it is true there are little niggles as you get older and yes more serious illness for some people. But none of that means you can't have a good time. You just find your joy in different ways.

Also every time life starts to settle down something ludicrous happens and tips everything upside down, so I'm constantly just waiting for the next adverse event

That is life, though. There are periods of plain sailing, regularly interrupted by squalls and storms.

I’m you’re age and life is great - because my DC are over 10! Like many others you’ll feel better when your child is older (and in the meantime pay for whatever you can afford by way of extra babysitting/cleaning/you name it)

I'm 46 and DC are nearly 16 &18 hopefully coming through the worst of the teenage years and are now pretty good company. Just got a massive new job, can basically go out whenever I want, thinking for the first time in years about doing things just for me. My parents are still in reasonable health and have 3 holidays planned, life is good.

God yes, young children are wonderful but relentless. Mine's 16, i'm not far off 50 and I have so many things i'm really looking forward to.

I don't feel this way at all. I'm 50, somewhat battle scarred after everything life has thrown at me, but overall very happy and having loads of fun.

I'd hazard a guess that you feel this way because your dc are still small and in the energy sapping phase, you've just come out of a pandemic with a small dc yet there's no let up from the general doom and gloom at the moment.

I'm 51 and happier than ever .. focus is firmly on what matters and can shrug off what's not . Enjoy yoga or Pilates every day and seeing the light in every day . Love it ..

I'm nearly 50 and loving life, I was talking with friends how I feel this is one of the best periods of my life, children older, more money what's not to like? I found young children relentless. Also due to my parents dying young, I don't have that stress

Well I’m 67 and life is great 😊

I go to gigs 3 or 4 times a month, sometimes more - I’m off to our local Rock pub tonight actually. I’ve been to 3 festivals this year, camped at all of them (and put up my own tent). In the colder months I often go to Rock/Blues weekenders in holiday camps….great fun.

I also love hiking and do 2 or 3 decent hikes a week, usually 6 - 8 miles each. I have a hiking holiday in a couple of weeks.

DH however, even though he’s ‘only’ 64, has embraced ‘old age’ and is happy festering at home in front of the TV. He wouldn’t be seen dead in a tent or a caravan..likes his comforts. Each to their own but I wish he had a bit more ‘go’ in him.

My motto is ‘Never give in, never give up’. I had a small Stroke last year and it’s given me added impetus to keep doing what I love.

I'm mid sixties and having the best time - I travel, I have time for my friends, I have time for my family, I work when it suits me because I'm lucky to do something that allows me to work on a freelance basis and I'm not ready to retire

No I really don’t. I am 50 and am loving being older. I know who I am, who I am not and what I want.

I know what not to waste time on and how to enjoy myself. And I don’t waste time worrying about what other people think I should do, how I should look or behave.

Having small children can drag you down and limit motivation but when you come out the other side and start to find yourself again it’s better IMHO. I may get shot for saying this but a lot of it is mindset.