To think some comments on here can be a bit harsh and OTT?

[Essexgalttc]

I quite enjoy looking through the AIBU pages and answering some but some comments on there can be quite harsh. Some people assume things about the OP’s life that OP hasn’t even said. Some comments are very judgemental, I saw one the other day judging someone for having children by different dads.

YABU - It is fine for comments to be rude and OTT on some posts and assume things about others that haven’t even been mentioned by OP.

YANBU - It is OK to give opinions because that’s what AIBU is for right? But they shouldn’t be rude and harsh (unless OP has done something very wrong…)

Have never encountered anyone being rude or judgmental on mumsnet, especially not AIBU.

It's just like real life.

I asked a question about my nosey, nasty neighbour. Everyone has been sidetracked by my friendship. I have absolutely zero issues with my best friend nor her husband. Mumsnet has!
Harsh, nasty and totally uneducated. I’m done with mn. Far too full of superior knobs who think they are way better than everyone else on mn.

<goes to read thread about nosey neighbour>

I find the worst ones are about unhelpful partners/husbands and people have a tendency to say 'well you should have thought about that before you had 3 children with him'

How is that remotely helpful to a non time traveller???

I genuinely do not have an issue with tough love comments, but some can be so nasty it makes me cringe

Very selective reading of the responses there OP.

Me neither. It's a very friendly, tolerant, easy-going place. 😂

I've been reduced to tears in the past by judgy people (different user name). I had actually gone on to defend someone else who was being given a hard time, but she disappeared when it was the other way around! Lesson learned 😟

That nosy neighbour thread is a bit weird TBF.

The nosy neighbour thread is well worth a click. Go looking for yesterday’s excellent 1000-post thread about the highlands wedding too, a corker.

When I read old threads from around 2006-2008 it's very noticeable how the site has changed. People actually communicated like normal human beings then. Nowadays many seen to fall over themselves to get in the most "witty"/harsh/derisive comment.

Aside from AIBU it's very noticeable on the baby names forum. Some seen to think it's a competition to come up with the worst insult for the discussed name. Years ago people were more tactful, like you hopefully would bee if talking to someone in person.

The problem, posters who are like this only think of themselves and how "funny" they think they're being, and not the human being on the other side of the screen.

Of course the majority still give helpful and kind comments! It's just the few that don't that stick out.

Absolutely agree. To the point that I probably will be leaving mumsnet. I also have an issue with threads being derailed by judgemental/nasty comments, and a lot of the attention going to one or two controversial posters, leaving the OP forgotten about. It can open up debate, which is worthwhile, but sometimes just becomes quite disturbing. It comes with the territory of forums though, and it has opened my eyes to the realities of some attitudes (ignorance is bliss indeed!)! I would advise anyone who is feeling vulnerable to avoid mumsnet. It has many kind posters, but it is the harsher ones who leave a greater mark.

What an original idea for a thread.

Yes I read that one too. People saying OP doesn’t love her brother and should just leave her kids with strangers and or pay hundreds of pounds out

There are definitely posters who just post to be contrary and superior, adding nothing of use. It seems worse at the moment because there are so many that the reasonable people are getting outnumbered.

It's always been a nest of vipers but the site was smaller and it was part of the charm. People were rarely just twats for the sake of it.

I remember when it was all witty, sarcastic, sweary yet supportive fields...

Yes they can be harsh and rude. However I used to frequent Babycentre years ago and found their AIBU worse.

I can’t tell if this is sarcastic or not

Or has there been these threads before - oops, my bad if there has!

The current photography thread 'I was shocked' is quite nasty. A pile on the OP. Any hint of vulnerability and there is a groupattack. It's as if there were an organised group of misogynists 🤔

Aside from AIBU it's very noticeable on the baby names forum. Some seen to think it's a competition to come up with the worst insult for the discussed name. Years ago people were more tactful, like you hopefully would bee if talking to someone in person.

I have been on here a reasonably long time but i have never understood why you would want to ask random strangers on the internet what to name a baby. Unless it's because those random strangers will be completely honest? It seems more to me like a competition to think of the worst baby name sometimes. And the 'what name goes with...' -I have never understood that either.

AIBU has always been snarky.

The amount of trolls recently though, I think people forget that the majority of people posting are genuine women needing gentle support, advice and a kind kick up the bum. Some posters are downright vicious. Then again, plenty of people in the real world are bloody horrible.

Oh absolutely!

On here, I have been called a bad mum who affects her kids because I rent, not a fully functioning person who stresses my kids out because I don't drive.

What a failure at life I am eh 🙄.

To be honest I'd rather be a renter and non-driver than be a smug and obnoxious ae who thinks they are a cut above because they own property and a car....

Sometimes a kick up the bum is perfectly reasonable
If I posted about cheating on husband behind his back or that he was cheating on me I’d expect a lot of tough love or “are you an idiot” comments!

I agree with you there