To think some comments on here can be a bit harsh and OTT?

[Essexgalttc]

I quite enjoy looking through the AIBU pages and answering some but some comments on there can be quite harsh. Some people assume things about the OP’s life that OP hasn’t even said. Some comments are very judgemental, I saw one the other day judging someone for having children by different dads.

YABU - It is fine for comments to be rude and OTT on some posts and assume things about others that haven’t even been mentioned by OP.

YANBU - It is OK to give opinions because that’s what AIBU is for right? But they shouldn’t be rude and harsh (unless OP has done something very wrong…)

🤣

I see what you did there.

Yes, people are dicks on here, half of them would never have the balls to say it to someone in real life.

It really doesn't matter what the OP is about. It's always the same. It's fine if someone can handle it, most can, but some people who post on here are very fragile and going through a very difficult time. That's when horrible posters really fuck me off because it's so unnecessary and cruel.

I think some people think it’s a competition to be as nasty as possible just so their comments get noticed or so others can join in to bully the OP.

The worse is when you start a thread like ‘how to dress baby in summer’ and someone searches up your name and says something completely unrelated and just wants to mention your posting history for the sake of it. It’s so weird

I recently read an AIBU about someone’s friend calling them pale and thin and someone said “aren’t you the person who posted about wanting to lose weight? Go back to your weight loss” or something along them lines… so rude!

The worse is when you start a thread like ‘how to dress baby in summer’ and someone searches up your name and says something completely unrelated and just wants to mention your posting history for the sake of it. It’s so weird

Well handily since the 'upgrade' the search function is now completely rubbish so the instances of that must have reduced.

Yep some proper twats on here.

I started a thread once and there were so many wrong assumptions made that l almost felt gaslit and started questioning myself!

But maybe l was wrong for thinking it was a support network for parents - it really isn't!

Omg yes!!! It’s so rude and unnecessary you’d think people on here are like 15/16.

One time I had a thread about the correct nappy size and how to know your baby needs the next size up. A couple weeks there was a thread about something and I commented. Someone @‘d me and said ‘you don’t even know what size nappy your child should be wearing, I don’t think we need your opinion.’ Like??? Isn’t this a parenting forum where you can come to ask questions😂 people are truly bizzare

I find that people are quicker to leap in with the judgement than they used to be on MN. People coming for advice because they know they need to make a change in their life are frequently bombarded with comments berating them for getting into the situation in the first place. Obviously they know that now, it's unnecessarily unpleasant sometimes.

I would say I’m never any ruder/honest on here than I’m willing to be in real life , I think a lot of people come on just to be told what they want to hear and that’s not what it’s about, if you ask for opinions your going to get a thousand different ones because nobody thinks or feels the same as the next person so potentially I could be perceived as rude when I think I’m just being honest

Yeah but on the other hand - we only get one life. Pretty important to not waste it with some arsehole that makes it unhappy I’d have thought.

Get yourself over to Tattle. Much better than here.

YANBU. I used to be on MN but then deleted my account after posting about a dilemma and getting absolutely savaged. To be fair, I didn't word it very well and even though I tried to explain what I'd meant, the awful comments just kept rolling in. Of course, none of those people knew me in real life so it's not 'real' but it actually felt pretty humiliating.

Sharing a strong opinion is fine! If you're going to post on a message board, you'd better be resilient! But Name-calling or casting doubt on a person's character or parenting skills etc is really just unkind.

Anyway, just recently back and I would defo never start a thread again! Way too terrifying! But it's nice to just read through and occasionally reply.

Or LTB as if someone who just had a baby is in a position to walk out tomorrow on Mumsnet's advice! People are often too extreme on relationship threads.

What is a tough love comment?

Do people here love you?

I thought that tough love was kicking your kid out of the home because they are on drugs type of thing.

Think I read this one , was it your friend visited 4 times in a day ? And you go out on motorbike ? Well if it was the comments were awful. Totally derailed from the subject and questioning your friends intent with you . Some posters on here really make up stuff that isn't being written and they get really angry . I haven't been on the site long and I don't think I will continue . I was warned by friends about it .

The ones that I hate they seem to always be in social or child services and punch down at you. Sometimes it gets really cruel . One went on all day and night the OP had long gone and there were a few 124 posts later still battling each other 🙄

I would never start a thread on here it's to terrifying. Once a week I read all the nasty ones to my husband , he cannot believe some of the comments and said the OPs self esteem must be through the floor after the roasting they take .

Firstly, I took the ‘on here’ to mean MN rather than AIBU

Secondly, you do realize that not everyone on here is familiar with the site, and post on AIBU without realizing what it is like?

Thirdly, the relationships board is not a warm and fuzzy place either. Posters get absolutely hammered there too. Usually for not immediately agreeing to LTB. Especially if they have children where they can get absolutely pasted for being terrible mothers setting their children up for miserable, dysfunctional lives if they don’t leave immediately.

Secondly, you do realize that not everyone on here is familiar with the site, and post on AIBU without realizing what it is like?

I think a problem is that people new to the site might have arrived to it having seen a thread that was shared that was posted in AIBU. Maybe they are unaware there are 'proper' topics and never venture into them.

There should be a short tutorial, explaining all the topics and how to hide them, and how to hide a thread, use bookmark etc on joining

YANBU

The worst is when posters decide to 'fill' in information from the OP and then get angry at their made up scenario and take that out on the poster themselves

And don't even get me started on those who try to detail threads by accusing any posters who might disagree with them of being men.

That's a good idea

My Mumsnet (top right) and you get a drop down
Settings
(From list on left) Talk Settings
(Scroll to bottom of page) Manage hidden threads and topics

Bob's your Uncle

@Kite22 THANK YOU. Heaven must be missing an angel!

Hiding a whole topic won't stop it appearing in Trending for you (sadly) but no threads in that topic will appear in your Active threads so you won't see them there.
I have hidden Relationships, Feminism and all the baby/school stuff. Dogs, chickens etc. It does make for a better experience.