To think some comments on here can be a bit harsh and OTT?

[Essexgalttc]

I quite enjoy looking through the AIBU pages and answering some but some comments on there can be quite harsh. Some people assume things about the OP’s life that OP hasn’t even said. Some comments are very judgemental, I saw one the other day judging someone for having children by different dads.

YABU - It is fine for comments to be rude and OTT on some posts and assume things about others that haven’t even been mentioned by OP.

YANBU - It is OK to give opinions because that’s what AIBU is for right? But they shouldn’t be rude and harsh (unless OP has done something very wrong…)

So why is everyone still here?

I’m a driver and I can’t stand the rudeness against non drivers on here either

For the bun fights and the deletion messages 😁

I’m a driver and I can’t stand the rudeness against non drivers on here either There's quite a lot of rudeness towards drivers too. We should all be cycling/walking/getting the non existent public transport etc.

Exactly. 😂

To avoid confronting the howling void of 2022.

For me, it’s always the immediate response of basically ‘leave him’ every time any woman dares to ask something about her husband. Yes, lots of husbands are useless but to base an opinion on one thread and say ‘leave him’ is pretty harsh, as if all those in ‘happy marriages’ never ever have been let down or pissed off with their other half 🙄

Sorry - I probably should of said that there are genuinely woman on here that need loving advice and support. I’ve commented on some posts before giving OP advice and help on removing themselves from horrible relationships before

I meant more them posts where OP says she keeps being cheated on, what to do? And then when people say leave the OP says she can’t and then people start being rude

Yes definitely agree

Ive seen posts on here about being upset their partner is leaving them for the weekend whilst they’re unwell or something (understandable to be upset) but there’s always comments about dumping him or leaving him, he has no respect for you etc

AIBU has been specifically designed to be baity and antagonistic because it's asking a yes or no question that sets posters either against the OP or against each other. MN could take it down and ask people to just post benignly in Chat, but where would the clicks/notoriety/profit be in that?

Of course some comments are harsh, probably for a variety of reasons,

• The person is just not a nice person

• The person has nothing of any value to say so gets nasty,

• Noone engages with the person unless they post goady, nasty messages

• People don't have much of life so this us their way of getting entertainment

• People want to thread to continue so they can keep harping on with their point, so attack others for a response to keep it going.

In summary, not very nice people are nasty, i tend to ignore the nasty ones as i do feel sorry for them and if they need to get nasty, i assume they have no valid point to make

I've often wondered how many posters have followed that advice after being whipped into a frenzy on a thread, only to regret LTB afterwards. I reckon there must be some.

People definitely get carried away here and forget real life exists

A recent one was a comment I made saying I’m GC but found SOME transphobic posts on here and got asked in a pompous way why I was trying to silence women. Then a poster tagged me repeatedly on the thread making up what she thought I was doing to not have returned. The answer was being in hospital giving birth I don’t think that poster would have thought this was a good enough reason not to respond tbh

There's so much anger. Why go online to call someone stupid, what need does that meet? I think, who hurt you?

Then post in relationships, where you will get that support.

There was a jaw dropping thread a few years ago.
A woman with a newborn was annoyed that her DH had made some comment about attractive women on x-factor or BGT or something and took to mn to vent.

Poster after poster told her this was inexcusable. LTB territory.

And she asked him to leave. It was insane

Jesus Christ!

I mean fair enough for poor OP, but leaving him?

Sorry that was to @Youaremysunshine14

This.

You do know you can hide boards you aren't interested in don't you ?

I've got quite a few hidden from things like TTC / Pregnancy, which I am WAY past to the incredibly tedious feminism boards.

If there is a board you don't want to read, ,then hide it, It isn't difficult.

@Kite22 Ooh, can you tell me how to hide while boards please? I thought you could only hide threads. Does that mean posts from those boards would disappear from active and trending for me? Would love to hide horses, dogs, and that weird one where they get off on cysts.

Actually if you look at the vote on the highlands wedding thread, the vast majority thought the OP was NBU. It was just a few posters on the thread reiterating their strong views, or perhaps just enjoying an argument!

I do think there are some people that get a kick out of being nasty on here, it’s almost like they enjoy dragging someone down and feel better for it

My bets are 90% of them are keyboard warriors and wouldn’t say the same to a friend

The responses to the endless mother in law threads are a big bombastic too. E.g. MIl gave my kid sugar, MIL made a critical suggestion = “CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE” “NEVER LET HER SEE YOUR KIDS AGAIN”

Really?!? I know maintaining relationships with parents in law can be hard, especially if they feel they have a big say in your kids life but you can’t push back with them as you could with your own parents, but still. Do you really want your kids to have no relationship with grandparents that probably adore them (regardless of their relationship with you) and would add a lot to their lives? And is your OH supposed to just go along with their parents being sliced out of your lives?

Yeah I think these are nuts, the ones where the OP says she doesn’t want to hang out with the parents in law who visit once a year and then is told to put her foot down, refuse to get out of bed and say hi to them, tell the husband they can only visit for 2 hours every 3 years etc etc

@ShirleyPhallus @PlumPudd I agree with this too
OP clearly wants genuine advice but some people think just never see her again is a good response