To think I can become a better driver on my own

[Goawaygreta]

New(ish)to driving
Couple of years. But during that time, quite limited. Local driving. All less than 20 miles.
Want to get better and more confident and branch out.
Can I do this by just literally practicing? What have you mumsnetters done?
Most people that I know have never had passplus, extra lessons, motorway lessons.

I feel that although all roads are the same, they are not!!!! I'm worried about branching out and ending up on a complicated road and making a huge mistake.
I have sat nav,but sometimes I feel that you have to make a decision quickly or follow a road sign, no time to dither and that panics me a bit.
Doesn't help that I live in a busy area, although limited experience on country ish roads isn't much better with cars right behind me and feeling under pressure.
I hoped driving would give me more freedom. And it hasn't really.

I haven't really got the time and money to pay for extra support, though I could if I had to. Although a while ago when I looked into it, they all said I had yo use instructors car, which isn't what I want.

The best thing I’ve done is to just take trips by myself or with someone calm. I offer to drive when going anywhere and I always use maps, I use Waze as it alerts you to hazards, speed campers etc and find it really helpful. You need to just challenge yourself, if you need to do a good shop perhaps go to the next Tesco along and branch out, start small and your confidence will build, I only passed last June and now I’ll happily drive most places. Motorways took a few times but I just went one or two junctions on it until i felt happy

Also to add if you get confused, lost, take a wrong exit etc just come off the road at the next safe spot and recheck your map and you’ll soon be ok. Maps will alway reroute you too

Yes, go on solo trips to unfamiliar places more regularly. I use Google maps to plan the route in advance and street view to see landmarks, road layouts etc beforehand. I need time to think about where I need to go if I'm on an unfamiliar route and of course trying to do that while driving is impossible.

I don't use sat nav as I feel like it doesn't allow me to learn the route etc properly.

I’ve been driving 3 years and still get anxiety about driving to new places and longer drives

I had a lot of anxiety at the beginning and considered pass plus, extra lessons. I didn’t go for that in the end and all I can say is practise practise practise is the way to go.

You have probably built up so much worry in your head and put off doing longer drives for so long in your head that it has now become an irrational fear.

Something that helped me was doing a longer drive but stopping regularly. Instead of a 2 hour drive I’d tell myself it’s just four 30 min drives.

Another thing that helped me was having a driver in my passenger seat (my husband) who would be with me on longer drives and I felt more at ease because I had someone else that could help if I needed it

Maybe that could be a good idea? To ask an experienced driver to go with you for a long drive one day

Good luck, OP!

Literally the only way to get more confident at driving is to do it. Now, there's pretty much nowhere I won't drive to, but I'd never have thought that in the first couple of years after passing my test.

Practice is the easiest thing. If you can have a calm passenger if you think it might help or if you're happier on your own just go for it.

Of course you can! The more you practice the more confident you will get. Keep going, start with routes you feel familar/ confident with and branch out. You will get here.

Solo practice is the best way to build up confidence imo. Having someone with you isn't always helpful if they react to you making a mistake it can knock your confidence.

I’m an anxious driver and have phobias about getting lost. I do as little driving as possible, although I know this doesn’t help.

Not long after my DD passed her driving test, she got a partime job as a Dominoes delivery driver. She has told me that this gave her so much confidence.

Yes I cannot have someone I know with me being unhelpful or making comments.

this will go against perceived Mumsnet wisdom, but don’t sit in the middle lane on the motorway for 90% of your journey, gripping the steering wheel and hoping no one pulls out in front of you

Some folk trot out “lane changing is dangerous” but it’s actually through repeated lane changing that you get a sense of distance, depth, what cars are doing, making observations and timing your signal and manoeuvre

Highway code says “keep left unless overtaking” and left is the correct place to assess what’s going on in the road

Practice does help you get better. There's a way to work on things that make you anxious, you write out the end goal, and score that out of ten for how anxious it makes you and then you break it down into smaller and smaller steps till you reach a step that you'd rate a 3 or maximum 4 out of 10. What's a little step you could take? Even just something like if you can drive to X, going past it and round the block back to it. Or driving your normal route at a slightly busier time of day, note I said slightly. Do that step till you feel comfortable doing it, then do another little step.

I was really scared of driving, it took me a long time to learn, the more I drive the more confident I feel about it. If I don't drive much for a while, like during lockdown, it was really challenging to get back to it. It helped that I've had to get my DC to various therapy and hospital appointments, so I could focus on them and their needs instead of my fear. I'm not so good at doing things to help myself, motivation can make a big difference but over time taking little steps to build your confidence can really help to.

I'm not really worried about getting lost. Its things like complicated roundabouts (I'm fine generally with roundabouts and lots of biggish ones near me), or turning right on huge road where traffic is coming from all directions. I feel I'm going to drive on the wrong side of the road!!
Worry I will also accidently end up on the motorway(lots by me) and then be totally fucked.
I thought it would all be so much easier than this🤔

I would try increasing your confidence slowly over time by going a bit further or doing things your slightly out of your comfort zone. If you need a few extra lessons for your confidence and to be more sure on some things, like motorways, you would not be alone and actually a lot of drivers on the road could do with a bit of pass plus lessons. There's a lot of nervous drivers, a lot of bad drivers and some who are both out there who feel that they shouldn't need lessons as they have a license. But with all kinds of licenses, like for nursing or teaching, you have to re certify and take refreshers, so why would you not need that with driving. IMO everyone should have to take a driving refresher course every few years

Worry I will also accidently end up on the motorway(lots by me) and then be totally fucked.

would you like to at some point drive on a motorway @Goawaygreta if your confidence improves?

The motorway isn't that bad, I usually prefer it to single lane a-roads where dickheads tailgate anyone going at the speed limit.

I don't think there's any one magic thing you can do to gain confidence at driving except to do more of it in as many varied settings as possible.

I am the same. I always get anxious before a new journey but I have managed to go out and drive and everytime I've done a new route, I feel that little bit more confident. I have to really push myself to do them beforehand though.
Mainly big roundabouts scare me, the four lane ones, I always think what if I'm in the wrong lane? But as I've done them once or twice, the fear has lessened. So it really is a case of practise and you will get there eventually.
One thing though is I always check the route beforehand on Google maps etc, but that takes forever as I check the route several times.

Do any of you think I should just miss this step and just trust my waze to get me there? Even if I miss a turning, it will route? I am always worried about GPS signals and what would I do if there is none and I'm in the middle of nowhere.
Would not recommend using waze/ google maps in town etc. It's tried to take me on bus lanes a few times or weird routes as town is always changing its layout.

*reroute

The more time you have behind the wheel, the better you will become.

If you have specific concerns (you mentioned roundabouts, someone else mentioned lane changes), look very carefully on Google maps. I used to plan where I needed to change lanes and check appropriate approaches for roundabouts until I gained confidence in my own skills. And, to be fair, those skills improved with practice.

Plan a time when you have nowhere to go and no time to be there. I always used to be terrified of getting lost but there is always a way home, even if it’s a bit longer than you planned. Just drive and try to enjoy it.

Yes I agree with this. Trying to think ahead when you are already driving is impossible.
I don't really care too much about motorway driving (for now).
I'd be happy going on a long journey on smaller roads
Thing is , its silly stuff. Say dc want to go to a theme park for example,i would literally have an upset stomach thinking about the journey. In fact, I've never done such a journey! Dh would so not an issue.
And if it was with dcs friends ,their mums offer to drive(big cars) so I escape it.
I dread the day i have to do it. I cant tell the mums, as I don't know them well enough to confide. And anyway, as I'm older than a lot of them I guess they presume I'm an experienced driver. Its not the time to admit otherwise now.

Motorway driving is my favourite. It’s really not as scary once you get used to it.

I didn't think so originally, but yes now. But atm id be happy to drive an extensive long route tbf!!!

I'd been driving for nearly 20 years when my husband and I separated. He had done all the driving when we went on any big trips. I'd only occasionally driven on a dual carriageway!

One day I was invited to visit a friend who was holidaying 45 mins away down the dual carriageway. It was basically one straight road and I sat on the left the whole time at no more than 60! I was shaking when I got there. But I've kept on making longer and "scarier" trips, and recently drove several hours including a stint on the M25 to visit friends. I don't really enjoy it but I'm way, way more.comfortable now. You can do it! Good luck!

I just drove with no plan or map, using new roads and routes. Then got somewhere, stopped. Let my brain relax and then got in again and headed back with the sat nav. Do smaller challenges like heading to a familiar place via a different route