To think I can become a better driver on my own

[Goawaygreta]

New(ish)to driving
Couple of years. But during that time, quite limited. Local driving. All less than 20 miles.
Want to get better and more confident and branch out.
Can I do this by just literally practicing? What have you mumsnetters done?
Most people that I know have never had passplus, extra lessons, motorway lessons.

I feel that although all roads are the same, they are not!!!! I'm worried about branching out and ending up on a complicated road and making a huge mistake.
I have sat nav,but sometimes I feel that you have to make a decision quickly or follow a road sign, no time to dither and that panics me a bit.
Doesn't help that I live in a busy area, although limited experience on country ish roads isn't much better with cars right behind me and feeling under pressure.
I hoped driving would give me more freedom. And it hasn't really.

I haven't really got the time and money to pay for extra support, though I could if I had to. Although a while ago when I looked into it, they all said I had yo use instructors car, which isn't what I want.

Practicing yourself is a great way to learn after passing your test, as is trying longer journeys, different types of roads, unfamiliar places etc, but as we do quickly pick up bah habits, it’s maybe also a good idea to book in some additional lessons a bit down the line to check which ones you may have picked up, and stop them becoming ingrained.

My DH is a very confident motorbiker, who’s done all sorts of exotic trips on and off road as well as commuting, but he still books in every couple of years for a course that the local police run that are designed to remind you of what practice, let a more experienced professional rider look over how you ride and so on. I think it’s a good idea for everyone to occasionally go back over the basics like this.

If you find yourself in the wrong lane on a roundabout, go with the flow, take the next side road on the right, find somewhere to turn round, come back and try the roundabout again. It doesn’t matter how many times it takes you to emerge on the right road (but it will only take you one).

Always allow half an hour “getting lost time” so you’re not under time pressure.

If you have to do a long journey, remember it’s only several half hour journeys joined together.

I'm not desperately worried about big roundabouts, just an example. Its more complicated roads. I struggle to think of an actual example of a situation without seeing one!!!

I'm okay with dual carriageways as such.
Don't get me wrong I have actually improved in the last year. Prior to that I hardly went anywhere!!

I will and have gone on some unfamiliar routes- though not far. But I am no where near where I expected to be as I haven't pushed myself.

Its bothering me a bit lately in the sense Dh has annoyed me ( not intentionally). He needed a lift somewhere and asked his younger sister, not me! Undoubtedly she's an experienced and confident driver, but I suppose I was embarrassed.

I guess he just presumed i wouldn't want to do it, and in a way, I wouldn't. I don't want any comments from him( he wouldn't comment on sisters driving).

Its kind of spurred me on to actually stop being a wet lettuce!!!

Another thing that worries me is a certain route from work. Have to turn right at a junction. Usually have to position in the middle and wait for a gap. Lights then go red. As I'm in the middle I can then go. However, then there is a pedestrian crossing directly and I'm confused as to whether that may change to red ?

I think in that scenario you have to just continue to turn right as soon as possible after the light has gone red. There's usually a slight delay before the pedestrian light goes green. Very unsafe to be stuck in the middle of a junction.

You don’t need extra lessons. Driving with a friend (not a teacher) is helpful when you’re on unfamiliar motorways the first couple of times. That way you watch the traffic and they do the navigation/ warn you about dangerous drivers zooming up in your blind spot.

Truth is the main way you get better is to try it and see and usually there are a few scary moments while you’re improving 😬

If it’s right next to the turning then it should be linked, so won’t turn red for you.

My DD is learning at the moment and last week I got her to drive to an airport about half an hour away and then on Tuesday she drove to her college which is an hour. She had a few moments of panic but I told her the same as I will tell you...you can do it, it's all just practice. Everyone on the road has had to learn and had to build their confidence up. Just keep going. She has no real choice she has to drive to college as soon as she passes!

I could have written your post OP! I passed my test last September, started out confidently, had a couple of frights, and now I'll do anything to avoid driving...despite really really wanting to be able to just hop in the car and take my DD out on adventures. I know the only way to get past the anxiety is to go through it, but it's hard isn't it? I get the embarrassment factor too. I wish we could just press a magic button and have the confidence of a more experienced driver! Anyway, I just wanted to say you're not alone! Maybe this time next year we'll both be feeling much better about it all.

That's what I keep thinking. Though its made me slightly worried about that route now.

Its so bloody hard though. In a way I'd be better if someone with me to say I'm doing it right but mo one suitable 🙁

Would your DP/DH not go out with you for a bit? What about you just driving to the next family trip?

If you can

If you have a free few hours to yourself just go on a longish drive. Doesn't matter if you miss a turning or end up going taking the wrong exit somewhere, just follow the flow of traffic. Have a nice cup of tea somewhere and work your way back. Don't beat yourself up of it goes wrong. (I have a very poor sense of direction so I'm never surprised if I get lost.) I think once you've done it a few times you'll feel more comfortable and feel you can cope with unfamiliar roads. My husband as I were new drivers at the same time and drove from Manchester to Edinburgh to get used to things.

Thanks
Same. I just want to do it without all this stress. I don't mind a bit of anxiety but at this rate I will only ever be tootling round my area. Then I will get old and then never have done much.
Its mental as id happily travel by bus train plane on my own, even to a foreign country.

I suggested that (although he has a huge car ) and he said he's happy driving. (Don't think he trusts me🤔)

Well I have made my mind up after this morning! I have to get my act together.
DH asked to use my car as 'you never use ' it!
Mine is nicer, though much smaller.
Well thats how he sees me , as some kind of Sunday morning driver😡

Ha ha. Nothing else spurs you on more than when someone assumes you cannot or will not be able to do something.
Go for it! Just to say I am also like you but have decided to venture further and further. First time will always be an anxious time wondering whether I can do it or not but each time I accomplish something, I add it to the rest of my achievements and I push myself further till the next" big" thing. One day I will not even worry about it all as I'll have become " that confident driver".

Get yourself a copy of Roadcraft - the police driving manual. Lots of tips in there ! ( I was a driving instructor for 7 years )

Strangely I've not e to post a reply for a couple of days. I could log in but then pages wouldn't load properly
I'm just looking at Roadcraft , think I will definitely get a copy , although a lot of the stuff seems based on a manual car and mine is automatic.

Though I guess lot of the advice will apply.

Been able*

Absolutely! I'm going to show him!!😡
How did you push yourself? Good for you BTW.
Frustratingly I cant drive for a few days as I had minor surgery last week.
By the time I do get back in the car it will be a couple of weeks as I've also been away on holiday.
Not the best thing for someone like me who needs to really keep on it.

I just wish there was some magic formula!

Yesterday, I had to go on a short journey with dh driving obviously. A little bit of motorway driving. It all looks too much for me. Whoever says its like a dual carriageway, is wrong. Its all so confusing!
Then off the motorway was multiple roadworks. All lanes closed, temporary lights, a whole section of every possible diversion! Despite him not driven there before, he navigated himself through with ease.
I'd have literally been sweating.

How do you figure out all that shit in a split second without holding up the traffic etc.
I could have done it with time to think, but there is no time.
I remember as a learner finding it so hard to gets to grips with actually controlling the car.
Thats the easy bit.

Actually figuring out different types of road, junctions, road markings is fucking endless.

I can totally sympathise- was a really anxious driver myself in the past! I pushed myself to do more when I first had kids and I'm mostly fine now, but still like to plan it if I'm going somewhere new or busy. When I was really anxious about it, I'd sometimes get up early on a Sunday morning to practise a new route before I had to do it for real on a busy week day. I had a few refresher lessons with someone who specialised in nervous drivers, which did help to give me a few tips and gain some confidence. I still regularly study Google maps before doing a new journey. You can look at street view and literally see exactly where you need to go, which lane, what the roundabouts look like etc etc. Sometimes feels a bit overkill but really helps me to feel more confident! The key is to give yourself loads of time and don't stress. Like others have said, if you take a wrong turn, satnav will reroute you... it's not the end of the world, just keep calm and find a safe spot to pull over and check your map when you can. Good luck!

Yes practice makes you better, and you never really stop learning either. It took me a good five years to really understand how to properly use the clutch.

I don't recommend using sat nav until you're more experienced, unless you absolutely have to. My husband learned to drive ten years later than I did, and he is so bad at reading road signs and paying attention to whether the lines are solid or dotted. He relies way too much on the computer to tell him what to do. Sat nav is fantastic, but learn to drive and navigate without it first.

Agree about the sat nav. Although I use it all the time like a security blanket!!!!