To think I can become a better driver on my own

[Goawaygreta]

New(ish)to driving
Couple of years. But during that time, quite limited. Local driving. All less than 20 miles.
Want to get better and more confident and branch out.
Can I do this by just literally practicing? What have you mumsnetters done?
Most people that I know have never had passplus, extra lessons, motorway lessons.

I feel that although all roads are the same, they are not!!!! I'm worried about branching out and ending up on a complicated road and making a huge mistake.
I have sat nav,but sometimes I feel that you have to make a decision quickly or follow a road sign, no time to dither and that panics me a bit.
Doesn't help that I live in a busy area, although limited experience on country ish roads isn't much better with cars right behind me and feeling under pressure.
I hoped driving would give me more freedom. And it hasn't really.

I haven't really got the time and money to pay for extra support, though I could if I had to. Although a while ago when I looked into it, they all said I had yo use instructors car, which isn't what I want.

I was about to say this. Great book IMO.

In terms of free stuff, Ashley Neal has a great YouTube channel as does a chap called Reg Local.

Although if you have around £120 I would highly recommend an IAM course. It's one of the best things I've done as a driver and whilst it's a bit rigid, has many positive points that help to build confidence/ability.

IMO a lot of nerves arise because of observation. As good as driving lessons are, there just isn't time to develop your observation skills, so it's often said that lessons teach you how to pass a test but you learn to drive after you've passed. Trouble is, you're left to your own devices and this is when a lot of issues start.

There are some key aspects of advanced driving that people often forget, one being that you should always drive at a speed that will allow you to stop well within the distance you can see to be clear. So junctions, country roads etc. It's amazing how many don't and then claim things appear out of nowhere.

One of the most useful things I was taught was the elastic band method of observation. When driving down any road, your view should be constantly going as far as you can see (forwards and backwards in your mirrors) as if you've a ball on an elastic band. If you have a good idea of what's approaching and coming from behind, you can manage hazards more easily and drive accordingly.

Also, when on your own, try a running commentary of what you're seeing and how you're going to tackle the road ahead. There are some YouTube videos of police commentaries, which are astonishing but you don't need to be at that level!

Just to add to everyone else, yep practice practice and more practice.

I'll never forget driving to my mum's for the first time and realising I needed to go to the city first to get some stuff. Drove straight into a multistorey without considering it and just did it.

I'd been worried for ages about it, and even she was surprised that I'd done it.

I still hate having to press buttons for tickets etc through the window, but hey, can't be perfect.

You'll be grand in no time.

I was like this op to the point I stopped driving for 10 years. After one very wet and cold school run with 3 kids in tow my DH surprised me and bought me an automatic car. I found this so much easier as all I had to focus on was the road. No gear shifting no clutch control. I am so much more confident and relaxed and would never go back to a manual. I drive to places I never would of dared motorways included although I haven’t built enough confidence yet to do say spaghetti junction I’m fine with smaller motorways.

The sweating - normal.

I drove into London proper the other day for a meeting, had to be there for 930 so mental traffic as you can imagine.

Missed my turning about six times, but you just keep going.

You only get in that position once, then it's done. Next time, you do it again but differently.

And hold up traffic if you need to.

I like to just follow the person in front, then figure it out as I go

Glad you've got an auto, it makes it so much easier.

I switched to an auto when I bought my own car this year, previously had manual company cars. I drove on average 600 miles a week so it wasn't experience that made me want an auto, just knowing how much easier they are when you're on tricky situations was rhebdraw.

I have been a driver for 26 years - clean sheet, no points, no claims, nothing!
I have driven in mainland Europe, Ireland, America and Australia with no issues.
So I consider myself quite competent.
But when DH sits next to me while l am driving my god you would think l was having lessons. He comments and gives me advice constantly - knocks my confidence and does my head in to the point l tell him to drive us.
So definitely go out on your own. Start small and work your way up.

Thanks everyone. Lots of useful advice and support
I already have an automatic car which takes part of the stress.
My car is small but my spatial awareness isn't brilliant. I feel I'm forever re adjusting my mirrors as they are never quite right.
I've never had an accident but I've scraped and dented my car a lot. Notbout anywhere in public, just reversing off my drive. None recently I might add.

My manoeuvring skills aren't great and I really need to practice more. As I don't drive that much generally I can avoid it. Which isn't great.
However, I have improved loads. I remember when any parking was an issue. First it was carports. Though I'm OK with that generally. Although I only ever forward bay park , never reverse.
I used to always worry about coming back out, though not really anymore.

However, the weekend we went somewhere and DH parked in a small busy carpark. Every space taken. Of course he wasn't fazed even in his big car. I'd have died. Even worse was getting out.

Then I went through a stage of being stressed about street parking. And I'm not bothered about that at all now. Although I'd say its hit and miss how well I park! If I pull up on the right I tend to get nice and close to the kerb. On the left,not so. However, I will happily spend time correcting but sometimes I'm I'm having to reverse its not always perfect.

Parallel parking I have never attempted!!!
I suppose I accept my limitations because I don't have to drive thecway DH does.

Once I have my stitches out after my operation I'm promising myself I'm going to push myself!!
Ive definitely improved to a degree, but if I had to describe myself I'd probably say I'm like a new driver who has just passed, and finding their feet. When really a couple of years down the line I should be further along.

Try to remember that it's ok to go the wrong way and don't panic. The thing is if you go wrong don't panic and do it safely. If you get into a complicated junction, try your best and keep looking so you are driving safely. If you realise you're in the wrong lane, continue, and turn into a side road and redo the junction. I actually went the wrong way on my test but didn't panic and still passed, I asked the examiner and he said, but you went wrong safely.

Just drive more. It's experience that makes a good driver

Carpark, not carport *

www.iamroadsmart.com

Its funny isn't it, these little things. The things like the the tickets that you see drivers do all of the time as a passenger. Its a non issue, until you have to do it.

I think its not much the wrong turning is more doingbtge wrong thing. At a busy junction, interchange I feel like I might do something dangerous like drive into oncoming traffic.
Everyone else seems to he driving with purpose and know what they are doing.
I'm reading up on rules of the road and road markings etc as I thought I knew what I was doing but now I'm doubting myself.
I'm not explaining myself well, think I need links or diagrams.
Well done for driving to LONDON BTW!!!

If I'm going somewhere unfamiliar I often "drive" Streetview in advance to see the layout.
Learn to navigate and keep a road atlas in the car, invaluable if you can't get a phone signal etc.
If you get lost, just pull off and stop in a safe place to get your bearings.
Ditto if you find yourself on the motorway, get into the inside lane (safely) and come off at the next junction.
As pp above says, if you get in the wrong lane at a roundabout, continue until you can stop safely and turn round.
If going on a longer journey, I find it helps to write down a list of signs to follow in turn e.g. Follow A~, Bogchester, then A>, Stinkbury, then B#, Scroggleshot and tape it to the dashboard.
Happy trails OP.

Yes I agree about it probably being more common. I have the no motorway option on phone and car sat nav!
I know lots of people who don't drive on the motorway and I will happily admit this too.

I don't know many people who are quite like me with regular driving though!!

Anyway, the motorway driving is on hold for now and I think I will have you to have lessons first. I will tackle it when my normal driving is better.
Hopefully I won't end up on a motorway before then by mistake!!!

Absolutely perceived pressure from other drivers!!!. If the roads were empty, I'd go anywhere!!!!!

Parallel parking I have never attempted!!!

I thought you had to learn that for the test. I did.

Oh yes, for the test. I mean ive never attempted since passing.

If you accidentally end up on a motorway you just keep going, stay in the inside lane, maintain speed and get off at the next junction. Don't make the mistake of turning the motorway into something horrendous and scary in your mind - like the rest of your driving, it is simply about practice. You merge onto the motorway safely and then you're driving in a straight line - you just have to be aware of what is going on around you, the general flow of traffic, and look as far ahead as possible to see what's going on in case traffic is slowing or whatever. As long as you aren't driving dangerously slow and are driving safely/correctly, ultimately, it's just another road.

I don't know where you live but like a PP says - if you go out on a motorway early in the morning on a Sunday for example, it's likely to be quieter - find a good stretch and go up and down a couple of junctions to get a feel for it. Presumably you had to drive on a dual carriageway in your test so apply similar driving skills... take it a step at a time. No one is saying you have to go on the M25 at 8am on a Monday morning... find an appropriate stretch - or find one of the bigger dual carriageways near you (many these days are very similar to a motorway), go when it's quieter and practice on that for a bit - driving at the correct speed... perhaps overtake something - it's not such a big jump to a motorway from that. Just because other people seem to know what they are doing doesn't mean they do! As long as you are driving legally, safely and appropriately for the road you are on - you can't go far wrong - let other people do what they want.

Same as with parallel parking - or any part of driving. Go out when it's quiet - practice - and keep doing it until each part of driving becomes less scary. You can do this!

I live near a big city. Lots of motorways. Lots of big dual carriageways.
I'm ok with dual carriageways. I sometimes drive on a busy ish one. Its 50mph though.
I agree that I cant let motorways also become 'another big thing '.

Hi @Goawaygreta .

From what you have said,
it sounds as though somewhere along the way,
you have really lost your confidence. Personally,
if you have the time,
I would suggest working on one of your 'issues ' at a time. So,
for instance,
the turning right at the big junctions,
or the roundabouts. Plan a route that takes in a couple of those junctions,
or roundabouts and drive it several times in an hour or so. Or,
go to your local big supermarket at a quiet time and practice parallel parking and reverse parking. Whatever you choose to work on,
just keep at it until you feel more confident. If you can afford it,
can you book a couple of lessons - I know there are instructors who specialise in helping drivers who lack confidence as a friend of mine did this when she needed to drive having rarely driven since passing her test.

Whatever you decide,
give yourself time and try not to talk yourself down. You wouldn't have passed your test in the first place if you were that lacking in confidence. Good luck. 💐🚗

I did pass plus the week after I passed, it was only one day and my instructor asked me what I particular wanted to concentrate on - and I said I thought I needed more practice with big roundabouts and an introduction to the motorway with a bit of guidance for the first go!

So we went to the seaside! Driving there on A roads with plenty of roundabouts for practice, then fish and chips on the seafront before driving back on mainly motorways. My instructor started me off on one that started straight off a roundabout so I could get used to the lanes before having to handle joining from a sliproad. I think this definitely helped a lot!

Then a couple of weeks after I went to visit a friend who lives a two hour drive away by myself. I planned out the route first and wrote the steps down and sellotaped it to the dashboard in case of satnav failure - probably overkill but it helped with the nerves! I made it in one piece and it really increased my driving confidence.

It's mainly practice practice practice. The more you do it, the better you will get (up to a certain point). Like any new skill though, make sure you aren't getting into bad habits that will become engrained and harder to shift later on. Read lots of advice from books etc. If you know anyone who's an experienced driver who could sit and watch you now and again to give you some tips, that could also work.

I suggest you sign up for instruction with the IAM (institute of advanced motorists). This did wonders for my driving confidence in all sorts of road conditions - reading the road, anticipation, manoeuvring, motorway driving, safe distancing etc. It is worth doing even if you do not progress to take the advanced driving test. You get to have regular driving practice with a " critical friend", which sorts out what is best practice and gets you out of bad habits which you might otherwise get into.

I did Pass Plus soon after passing which was a great introduction to motorways and has stood me in good stead for motorways and dual carriageways.

I moved area shortly after passing and started a course which involved driving to the nearest city and placements which involved rural driving. It was just before sat navs really became a Thing so it had to be done through planning and hoping. That first year was a sharp learning curve and a very productive one. Doing really is the best way to learn and I liked doing it solo with no one to notice errors.

All drivers make errors. Mostly they do them with enough control to not be dangerous. Some do dick around dangerously. I've driven on unfamiliar roads/ motorways this evening, road jammed up, not sure what my next junction move will be. All went smoothly and no mistakes made, but had I got into the wrong lane, it could have been righted with patience and indicating. I could easily have been mistaken for looking purposeful.

Thank you. Makes sense to approach it like this.