I am BU, but I don’t want DH here all the time

[Readrun]

He’s not doing anything wrong, but he’s WFH in a garden room staring directly out at the garden (ofc) so feel self conscious if I try to relax and play with kids or read or relax out there.

When I’m in the house he’s in and out asking questions and trying to talk to me when I want peace.

I feel a bit shit saying it but I do feel like I need a couple of days without him.

Im on summer holidays and just feel watched all of the time.

100% understand.
DH works shifts & has long periods of time at home. When he is at work I keep those days free if possible so I can relax in my own way in my with nobody else to please or consider or to question what I'm doing.
He has plenty of time to do just the same if he wishes.
Of course we can relax together & do but if you're the type of person who values alone time then there's nothing weird about it at all.

I told mine he had to work in the office a couple of days a week for my mental health.

For some people feeling like home is actually the office when it's your day off is very hard to cope with.

JudgeJ

If you're both teachers then presumably you're about all Summer too, maybe he feels the same about you being there. We were both teachers but never had this problem, maybe we were to grown up!

I imagine I'm equally annoying! However I do leave him in house while I take kids to do stuff or go out with my mates. When kids were little he used to get whole weekend breaks from us all when I visited family. I rarely get a weekend on my own as he never seems to go out & doesn't do lads weekends or anything. I don't know that it's childish wanting a few hours doing my own thing? I think there's nothing wrong with needing space from someone you live with. Does it make you more grown up if you happily spend 24/7 with someone 🤷🏻‍♀️

@readrun

I can’t speak for @converseandjeans but I tend to go out and about far more than DH, so he gets the house to himself (even without wfh) more than I do. That’s my choice and it is fine.

Yes same here - DH often gets house to himself & I rarely do.

@SleepingStandingUp … okay, we got it. I haven’t said I’m going to ask DH to face the other way, I realise (again) you weren’t replying to me there but the sort of responses are giving the thread a very aggressive sort of feel and there’s really no need.

I don’t have an unhappy marriage at all, but nor am I so confident and comfortable in myself that I am unaware I look like a beached whale in a swimsuit and that when I squat down in the sandpit, it isn’t pretty perhaps if I was a skinny twenty something it would be different!

As it is, it does mean home has a work ‘feel’ to it, I’d prefer this not to be the case, it if was totally my choice, but it isn’t, so I just put up with it.

Yes, suggesting not telling your husband to face the wall and close the blinds is so aggressive, I'm just so clearly simmering with pent up violence 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You personally are not aggressive, but three responses in quick succession poo-pooing what I feel are giving the thread an aggressive feel, which is actually what I put. It is more suited to rapid cross examining at the stand than a very mild moan.

I habe many chikdren, i have to bulk reply 🤣

I get that, but I am still entitled to explain how I am feeling this isn’t intended as an argumentative thread where I have to justify myself.