To give £50 as wedding gift

[LittleMermaidRose]

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for my friend in a month.
Just for context, she has paid for our dresses, hair and make up. We've to buy our shoes and bag.
She has spent quite a lot on the wedding in general with the help of her and her fiancé's parents. My partner will be attending also.

I wanted to know if people thought £50 cash would be enough to give as a wedding present?
I would absolutely love to be able to give more but atm money is just so tight. I'm working an extra job just to try to make a little bit more money but that money doesn't really go very far!

I know that she wouldn't want me to stress over something like this but I can't help but feel terrible if that's all I can afford, when I feel like she deserves so much more.

I feel obligated to give her a lot more as she has spent lots of money on me. I have contributed to two hen nights as well which were quite expensive (for me)

I'm just feeling pretty bad about it, I'd love to have your opinions on this x

I'd absolutely hate someone to give me a £50 candle; I wouldn't want or use it. Cash is fine, I would say £50 is generous.

I also don't think £50 is a small amount - when I say small amounts, some gave us £20-30 and that's absolutely fine!

If your friend is a decent human she won't care at all even if you don't give her a penny, as long as you're there.

I recently went to a close friend's wedding. It was in another country (where she's from) so it cost quite a lot to get there, accommodation, hire car etc. I bought a gift from the gift list for £50. As she said afterwards, she was more delighted that so many people were willing to travel and go. The gifts were far less important than having people she lived around her.

I paid for everything for my bridesmaids, including shoes and bag, and really expected nothing from them, them just giving up their time and being there for me was enough.

I think £50 is perfect, to be honest she probably wouldn't be bothered if you gave her 50p and a bag of midget gems. I know I wouldn't have been!

I'm going to try the 50p and bag of midget gems next time 😉

Make sure they're the Tesco 29p ones. Much better than the expensive ones 😂

It's a phrase my boss used when I had my Saturday job. He used to claim he paid me 50p and a bag of midget gems. It's just stuck with me as I've got much older

Surely that depends on how much money you have?

Odds are the couple would prefer the cash...

Odds are the couple would prefer the cash

Of course they would. No one wants the patented mumsnet silver photo frame. Or if by some chance they did, they can buy one themselves.

She has not spent any money on you. She has spent money on her wedding of which you are a part.

You are not obligated to give anything at all. Start there. £50 is generous.

We just had an expensive wedding and paid for six bridesmaids' full outfits, hair, makeup, all but shoes, accommodation, and drinks were paid for by us.

You know what I expected from them as gifts?

Absolutely nothing.

5 - got cards from two of them. No card from maid of honour!
We’re all still friends, no fallings out so they must have just forgotten but I’m hurt if I’m honest. I wrote them all cards and gave them them the morning of to thank them for all of their support.

That is a gift, though, isn't it? And a lovely thoughtful one at that.

Well I'm sure they would, but the OP is worried about the cash gift not seeming enough, and it's less obvious with an object.

She's a bridesmaid, so presumably she knows the bride pretty well and can pick out something that the bride is likely to appreciate.

She's a bridesmaid, so presumably she knows the bride pretty well and can pick out something that the bride is likely to appreciate.

I wouldn't bank on that. In my experience even people very close can miss the mark with present selection.

Yes, that's an optimistic presumption. And a lot of people simply don't want any specific giftable item that's £50, especially not one someone else has chosen. No amount of knowing a person gets round that.

Any gift is surely for both bride and groom, not just the bride.

Well, yes, but she's the bridesmaid so knows the bride well. I don't know how well she knows the groom.

£50 is a huge amount to some people. TBH some months I’d struggle to find a spare £50 for a wedding present.

If that’s what you can afford OP, then either buy a gift to that value or give the cash.

£50 is absolutely fine . I spent that amount on a snorkelling trip at my friends honeymoon destination. They were so chuffed !