To give £50 as wedding gift

[LittleMermaidRose]

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for my friend in a month.
Just for context, she has paid for our dresses, hair and make up. We've to buy our shoes and bag.
She has spent quite a lot on the wedding in general with the help of her and her fiancé's parents. My partner will be attending also.

I wanted to know if people thought £50 cash would be enough to give as a wedding present?
I would absolutely love to be able to give more but atm money is just so tight. I'm working an extra job just to try to make a little bit more money but that money doesn't really go very far!

I know that she wouldn't want me to stress over something like this but I can't help but feel terrible if that's all I can afford, when I feel like she deserves so much more.

I feel obligated to give her a lot more as she has spent lots of money on me. I have contributed to two hen nights as well which were quite expensive (for me)

I'm just feeling pretty bad about it, I'd love to have your opinions on this x

I've given £20 when I was newly separated and on the bones of my arse. I gave £100 recently to a good friend who I did a reading for and £150 to a nephew. Only because I could afford it.

Give within your means and don't give it another thought. Enjoy the day OP

@Benjaminsniddlegrass will that £75 pay for a night at the hotel? If not it's not a great gift if they have to put more towards the voucher to use it!

I am going to a wedding this weekend
Have fifty quid in a card sitting ready

Why would you rather have a pointless generic item worth £50 than the money to buy something you actually want?
If they want to spend it on a Jo Malone candle then they can.

I think £50 is a generous wedding gift, and more than most of our wedding guests gave.

God yes no candle or vase or photo frame

What a waste of cash. Just give them vouchers if they don't specify gifts.

I'd prefer a £10 Amazon voucher than a £50 candle!

If you want to give them something personalised as well as £50 then why not give them a voucher for doing something that required effort but not cost and put it in a card as well? Like if you live close then say you'll water their plants or feed their cat next time they're on holiday, or if they live close to the airport then say you'll pick them up from the airport when they leave at 6am for their honeymoon to save them a taxi, or you'll babysit for them one evening or if you have a special skill you'll gift them a session etc

This sounds wonderful.

@CakeCrumbs44 ok maybe I'm old fashioned but personally I would much rather have a gift than cash. I wouldn't give a cash gift either. I like putting the thought into a gift someone would like

Agree. I got one for Xmas a few years ago. I had no idea how much they cost. I’ve never used candles in my house so it just collected dust for a couple of years before going to the charity shop. Crazy gift unless you know someone loves candles.

Speaking as a very recent bride, so long as you get her a card she won’t care about the amount of money inside.
I’m still really hurt about how many of my bridesmaids didn’t get me one. Even a 39p one from the card factory would have done, something about those thoughtful words from your people mean so much.

We recently got married and I paid for the same for my bridesmaids. The girls had been so generous with hen parties etc we didn’t expect anything but what they did get us we really appreciated. £50 is more than enough and I’m sure they will be so grateful. One of our girls got us a voucher for our favourite restaurant which we are really looking forward to using soon.

If you weren’t bridesmaid you would spent more than £25 on an outfit and that’s without the present. £25 each is tight

Its absolutely grand. Please don't waste money by buying a vase/

Photo frame that no one wants instead

I gave £50 when my friend got married in June. Well, not £50 Sterling; they were going on a five day honeymoon to Greece, so I got them £50 Euros for dinner on me, and a travel guide of the area. They were really chuffed as they were so busy in the run up to the wedding that they hadn’t even thought much about the honeymoon, and hadn’t changed any money or researched the area. The cash first went towards a taxi from the airport at midnight, and was then reimbursed towards a rather nice dinner.

I'm surprised that only one person has referenced that you should roughly pay for your meal/the cost per head of inviting you, as that was what I've always heard/seen when you google 'how much to give' the 'rule' to be. In which case most wedding packages cost from between 40-100pp for an all day guest, so technically £50 from 2 of you seems low.
BUT
There is a cost of living crisis ongoing, and I bet the bride would much much prefer people come to her wedding and not give a present/only give what they can afford, than to have an empty wedding that nobody could afford to attend. Plus add on the extra you've had to spend on the shoes and bag - I thought it was normal for the bride to pay for that tbh? Ignore the person who said if bride hadn't paid for your dress you'd have had to buy a new one that would cost more than £25 - the last few weddings I've been to I've worn bargains from vinted, which, key point, I can then wear again multiple times, rather than money which you can only spend once!

Also whatever you do, definitely give cash, I don't know anyone who would want a random candle/vase/yet another photo frame etc. And as a pp said, a card with a lovely message in is worth its weight in gold!

I would give a nice personalised gift worth £50 rather than £50 cash. Cash is ok for someone you don’t know that well but I’d make more of an effort for close family and friends.

£50 totally fine. I’m pretty sure that was the average for my bridesmaids, but to be honest I can’t remember the exact amount/thing that each of them gave.

I was more concerned about treating them! considering they were doing me the honour of being there for me on my special day.

We always give cash in our circle and £50 is standard, but even £20 would be fine or even £0. Main thing is that the guests attend.

Only give what you can afford.

one of my dearest friends didn’t give us a gift, but she found a way to attend our wedding despite finances being tight. That meant so much to me.

I think £25 each is quite low but if you can't afford then you can't afford it. How much do you normally spend on an evening out?

Sounds fine as a gift - she can spend it on whatever she wants!

How many bridesmaids did you have?

Asking for cash as a gift is tacky but if that’s what they want then 50 is fine, write a nice message in the card and maybe add on a bottle of wine or something if you can afford to

I got eight, count 'em -EIGHT! photo frames at my wedding and I didn't like any of them. I have no windowsills, one shelf and live in a small house. They all went down the charity shop. Sorry not sorry.

We asked for nothing, we were happy to pay for our guests to celebrate with us. Many people gave bubbly, some gave money - anything from £5 ( which was so touching as I knew they were on the bones of their arse) up to £1000 from family.

Please don't worry in the slightest. £50 is incredibly generous.