To give £50 as wedding gift

[LittleMermaidRose]

I'm going to be a bridesmaid for my friend in a month.
Just for context, she has paid for our dresses, hair and make up. We've to buy our shoes and bag.
She has spent quite a lot on the wedding in general with the help of her and her fiancé's parents. My partner will be attending also.

I wanted to know if people thought £50 cash would be enough to give as a wedding present?
I would absolutely love to be able to give more but atm money is just so tight. I'm working an extra job just to try to make a little bit more money but that money doesn't really go very far!

I know that she wouldn't want me to stress over something like this but I can't help but feel terrible if that's all I can afford, when I feel like she deserves so much more.

I feel obligated to give her a lot more as she has spent lots of money on me. I have contributed to two hen nights as well which were quite expensive (for me)

I'm just feeling pretty bad about it, I'd love to have your opinions on this x

£50 is plenty and I'd defo give the cash or a voucher over photo frames etc people don't want house stuff they haven't chosen themselves

Are bridesmaids supposed to write thank you cards? I never knew that.

@Maireas
Wedding cards not thank you cards

Right, a best wishes type of thing.
Maybe they just thought their involvement was enough.
Weddings are a minefield, aren't they?

Yeah absolutely
Everyone has different expectations

You don't really understand the concept of a survey do you

This

If you weren't a BM you'd probably spend more than £25 each on attending

Unless you know a specific gift do not go down that route - a photo frame or pricey candle means nothing to many of us (do people really pay £50 for a candle, what's wrong with the Aldi knock-off ones!)

Many people wear something they already own.

Could you put the money towards something to surprise them on honeymoon (if you know where they are going and it is within your budget?

We had guests who did this- one purchased us a fab activity that they knew we would love, and another got up at 4am to secure us a table at an amazing restaurant that they knew we wanted to go to and hadn't managed to secure a table for. The latter cost nothing other than time (we would have been cross.if it did, as the person in question was going through tough times financially) but was definitely one of the most amazing and touching presents we got.

I find it tricky nowadays because people want money, and they know exactly what you give and I don't want to seem mean! The "give what you can afford" is also difficult, because I am not struggling financially.
It's interesting that £50 seems to crop up with the average being £100 so that's good advice.

Its really, really not. My gran (84) is the only person who has ever expressed this opinion in real life. Everyone under that age knows it is completely normal. I have never been to a wedding where cash hasn't been asked for over presents.

Times have changed and 99percent of people getting married already live together and have a fully kitted out home- what would be the use of 80 sodding candles or photo frames all in different non matching colours and sizes?

I think it's far ruder to be invited as a guest yet deliberately ignore what the couple have asked for because you consider yourself to know better and have better taste than them.

YANBU - you shouldn’t pay more money than you can afford and I’m sure your friend will respect the fact that her wedding has already cost you quite a bit. Lots of people are a bit hard up at the moment, please don’t worry about it anymore

I think it’s more than enough! Give what you can afford.
I’ve broken all the rules not given anything before but I couldn’t afford to, it already cost ridiculous amounts just to attend.

I think £50 is more than fine. Don’t get a vase or photo frame. They’re generally a waste of money and are likely to end up in the nearest charity shops.

A friend of mine gifted me a plant pot as a wedding gift back in the day and I wasn’t offended at all, thought it was a nice gift. She was on benefits so I knew she didn’t have much money anyway. Weddings should not be about the price tag of the gifts. The main thing your friend will want from you is your company and well wishes

I think it’s different in Ireland and people give a lot more but there is no way anyone would give €50 for 2 people to attend an all day wedding especially if you were a bridesmaid.

I would have to save for a couple of months beforehand. Average would be €200- €300.

UK seems to be s lot less expensive to attend a wedding but in Ireland it’s crazy money. You would AT LEAST pay for your 2 meals and that would always be a given.

Which means that someone gives £50 and someone gives £150. That’s how averages work. Come back and tell us when you know what the mode amount is if you want to be snarky about it.

OP £50 is a generous gift, it’s about affordability and you being there

That doesn't seem like a lot to be honest. Have you thought about buying a gift rather than just giving cold hard cash? You could get a really lovely photo frame or vase (for example) with that money.

£50 is fine and please ignore the people telling you to get another picture frame or another vase. They will have way too many of those, and one person's idea of lovely is another person's idea of hideous. With the combined money from all their guests, they can buy something they really love.

I think £50 is very generous. I was just pleased to get a card on my wedding day, anything else was a lovely bonus.

It's plenty, better something to that value, but if there is not a wedding list, then that's fine.

That said, my favourite present on the day was a soft blanket from Tesco!

Too much in my opinion

My bridesmaid didn't give me a gift but made up a breakfast hamper for the morning after (we didn't stay in a hotel, just went home as our honeymoon was a couple of days later). Croissants, small bottle of champagne, orange juice, coffee etc, presented in a basket. Very thoughtful.

It's absolutely fine.

Some of our best friends gave us small amounts or nothing at all as they don't have it to spare, and we honestly did not care at all.

It's so much more about you being there to support her.
(imo!)