MIL is a snob

[wiltingrose]

My MIL is a snob. And I am struggling to be around her.
I am from a normal lower middle class background, went to university, I had a student loan, and now have a great career.
My MIL looks down on people who have purchased "help-to-buy" properties, so much so that she wouldn't allow her own own daughter to purchase a flat in blocks where people had "help-2-buy" homes.
It's not only this, she makes other snide remarks as well.

I'm proud of what I've achieved. How do I keep MIL at arms length without causing damage between my DH and I. I get so annoyed that DH never calls her out on her out-of-touch comments. She boasts about what a liberal she is!
I want to limit visits to just xmas and easter. Has anyone managed to do this? and keep their marriage in tact?

Help to Buy seems a weird thing to be snobby about. We used it 8 years ago, paid back the loan when we next remortgaged and the house is now worth £800k. Hardly hoi polloi status, I would have thought!

They absolutely will. Our granchildren will probably be horrified we ate meat. So it goes.

Perhaps a good reminder to go easy on people who have been brought up to think one way and can't conceive of another.

I get so annoyed that DH never calls her out on her out-of-touch comments.

Thats unreasonable. It’s not his role. Both my parents and DHs parents were racist, homophobic and everything else, essentially a product of their generation and upbringing. While we certainly didn’t share these views what’s the point ‘calling them out on it’ when people are set in their ways! We just explained to the kids (when young) they old peoples brains got very confused and said silly things that were not true. Obviously when the kids grew up they understood the situation. They loved their grandparents but appreciated their shortcomings (recognising the basis for it).

*They absolutely will. Our granchildren will probably be horrified we ate meat. So it goes.

Perhaps a good reminder to go easy on people who have been brought up to think one way and can't conceive of another.*

I know some lovely people who hold different views on things to me.

Personally I don't think it's the opinions per se in this situation. I think the MiL's opinions are a bit of a red herring to the fact that she is a control freak who as OP says doesn't seem to like her. The snobbish opinions just add fuel to that fire.

@SleeplessInEngland And that we thought it was acceptable to fly, or smoke, or drink alcohol, So many issues on which views change over time

Can you not just challenge them on it? I respectfully disagree with my PIL’s all the time. They are upper middle class, have never known struggle or hardship and have just bought a 4th house to air bnb in my hometown where the working class (like me) have been forced out of because all the second (and fourth!) home owners. Makes me fucking livid but they’re generally pleasant people and we tick along nicely.

why does dh have to tell her why you aren't there? that's on him. so for this weekend coming up can you be ill? he can tell them you're ill or your lying as you didn't want to go. his call

and oh god the thought of Xmas with someone you don't like. sounds difficult. im assuming it's a few days?