AIBU - football against fence

[XCTX]

Hi all

Need a quick bit of advice to make sure I'm not just being curmudgeonly!

Recently moved into a new property with a lovely back area and have found out that neighbours to the back kids have a penchant for football, resulting in constant balls against the fence when the weather is remotely nice. I can't explain how loud it is to the point where I hear it in my front room even with doors closed and TV on, during summer holidays it is making WFH impossible.

I've been round before and politely asked them if there was any chance of playing football away from the fence, was told "I have x amount of boys here, the football will hit the fence." - so that was helpful.

The fence itself is absolutely knackered from the constant impact to the point where we can see each into others gardens which I'm really not comfortable with - its only a matter of time before a fence panel comes in and the fence is damaged properly.

When balls come over I do keep them as its the only time i get any peace, when I say I keep them just to be clear they are welcome to come and get them back by knocking on the door but I wont be throwing them over. Not long ago got a head over the fence to say "weve looked through the fence and can see the balls in your back we've been looking for them can you throw them back" (this was an adult not a child) - really not comfortable with my neighbours looking straight into my back!

Added to this we've recently had an addition of a puppy join us who gets the fright of his little life when he's outside enjoying the sun and hears a huge bang, cue a fit of barking and a reluctance to go outside and pee.

I completely understand that kids make noise - as we all do! However this is becoming a bit much, my mind has occasionally wandered to saving some dog ablutions to place on the ball before throwing back next time and saying "oh sorry it landed in his business before i had a chance to bag it up!" but before getting there I want to know..

AIBU to return back round and be slightly firmer in asking the footballs to stay away from the fence - I am not wanting to tell people how to use their own personal gardens but its really impacting multiple areas of my life now

Also - any property experts out there - how do I find out who owns this fence from a boundary POV? No reference in my deeds... If it's me I will be replacing the panels and making it crystal clear any damage from impact will be criminal damage.

I have this issue. He has about five or six footballs and constantly wallops them against the fence and purposely kicks them over. On their side it's a good nine feet high so it's taking some effort to get them over one by one all within less than an hour. We lock our garden gate as he started just coming into the garden and not shutting the gate and we have a dog. I will throw them back once a day so when he's lobbed them all in our garden that's it for the day. That's how I manage it. Don't want to be a misery but if I didn't do this I would be chucking back balls probably in excess of fifty times a day 🤣

Hmmm my parents live next door to 2 young lads who have been encouraged by their parents to set up their football goal against my parents fence, although they have a massive garden which could easily accommodate goals in the opposite direction. After the last heatwave, and hearing the repetitive smack, smack, smack of the ball against the fence, which then splintered one of their new panels, my mum had enough and called the Dad round the front of the house for a 'word'. They apologised, nipped it in the bud. Surely just explain?

A net hung a foot in front of the fence would reduce the impact could you suggest it or even supply one?

Why not put a new fence up inside the existing fence . It’s annoying but there is little you can do about it , we had this issue with our old neighbours and I spent years telling my husband I wasn’t getting the fence replaced until it stopped , they moved and I now have neighbours with a huge dog that is destroying the bottom of the fence in its attempts to get to my dog so we are still not replacing it .

AMIAMIBU if we've invited people round and the weather's not conducive to a BBQ, we cook the food indoors and either eat outside if it's nice enough or inside if it's not. Your argument's a bit daft - what do you do if you've invited people round for a BBQ and it's chucking it down or blowing a hoolie? Force them to cook and eat outside regardless?

Odd!

sunglassesonthetable, we have parties, certainly, they're more about sitting eating, drinking and chatting than loud music, and, yes, we certainly have barbecues. If the weather turns out not to be great for a barbecue, we don't force our guests to hang around outside being kippered because it's barbecue or bust - we allow them to eat in the house .

Blowing a hoolie or chucking it down we eat indoors, puff of wind and not perfectly still we BBQ and eat outdoors making noise, smells, drinking wine and enjoying our garden!

No miserable fun sponge neighbour is going to stop me doing that because of a slight gust of wind.

Which it appears you meant, another poster asked the same.

@XCTX it's your problem if you can't work from home, no one else can sort that for you? If your living arrangements don't lend themselves, you can't do it?

sunglassesonthetable, we have parties, certainly, they're more about sitting eating, drinking and chatting than loud music, and, yes, we certainly have barbecues. If the weather turns out not to be great for a barbecue, we don't force our guests to hang around outside being kippered because it's barbecue or bust - we allow them to eat in the house .

We have parties with dancing 🤷‍♀️ ( noisy obvs )

And we have BBQs on more than the stillest of days

and guess what we're nice neighbours too!

AMIAMIBU ahhh, you're THAT neighbour ....

Surely a lot of the noise problem would be solved if people put in a tough hedge instead of/as well as a fence? The ball won't bounce back properly, but nobody should be kicking a football at a fence, anyway - that's just anti-social even if it's the footballer's fence.

Just wondering how long it would take to grow a hedge.....?

Tell them any balls coming in your garden will be classed as litter and promptly recycled. At least that will mean they'll be careful at aiming it in your direction :)

Yes, one that uses my space and lives and lets live!

So many whinging "I can't work from home" people on here, then don't, hire some space or get noise cancelling headphones, but stop dictating what others can do in their gardens.

Honestly, the amount of people moaning about children playing in gardens, no doubt the same ones that moan about them being on tablets.

And i WFH, in a busy neighbour hood, with children, building works, dogs etc.

Some people are so fucking precious about normal noise. The boards are full of them. It's boring and a new thing to whine about.

OP, get some noise cancelling head phones, job done.

I wouldn't let my DCs repeatedly kick a football at a fence.

1- Because I would find it annoying and 2- I don't want broken fence panels!

I think it's fine to play in the garden and be loud etc, but that's not on imo.

My neighbour's DS is obsessed with basketball, bang, bang, bang all afternoon some days. I would never complain because he's allowed to play if he wants to, but if he was throwing the ball at the fence and damaging it I wouldn't be happy.

Repeatedly kicking a ball against a wall or fence isn't normal noise though.

Not repeatedly when OP keeps the balls and neither is considering putting dog shit on the balls!

OP has a puppy and it will create noise, so live and let live!

Depends whose fence it is?

I’ve been in education for many, many years, and the parental support of, and excuses for, the child’s selfish, thoughtless behaviour has increased palpably. You would not believe the excuses we hear for some children’s appalling behaviour.
So yes, this permissive parenting is getting worse.

Our NDN have 3 kids, all boys, a small garden, and they love playing football.
Whenever the hall hits our boundary fence, I hear the father grumble to the kid responsible and it doesn’t happen again for ages.
This is because our NDNs appreciate, without us ever having had to talk to them, what an intrusive, explosive and antisocial behaviour repeatedly kicking a ball at a boundary fence would be.
There are some that understand this and, without any need for confrontation, simply amend their behaviours in the interests of neighbourly relations.
Then there are the indignant, entitled, “it’s My house” twats; a subculture that your NDNs fall into, OP.

I’ve been in education for many, many years, and the parental support of, and excuses for, the child’s selfish, thoughtless behaviour has increased palpably. You would not believe the excuses we hear for some children’s appalling behaviour.
So yes, this permissive parenting is getting worse.

Nationwide or just anecdotally in your experience?

So yes, this permissive parenting is getting worse.
*
Here we go again with the downfall of society in general.

Mostly in RL neighbours rub along together.

My neighbours and I have parties, smoking BBQS, play music and get work done on our houses from time to time. Lots of us WFH. Throw dogs, children, balls ,water and summer holidays into the mix and that's life.

We are kind and friendly to our neighbours and likewise they are to us. We all went through lockdown together. And helped each other out. My 87 yr old neighbour was born in her house. My other neighbours rescue dog barks incessantly and every now and then they crack and put him in the garden. One neighbour writes and plays music .

My sons and some of the other young play basketball, ping pong, football and sometimes we have a pool. Some days they're not at home sometimes they're there all day.

My neighbour at the back says she loved hearing my boys play music and do their weights in our garage gym during lockdown.She liked the routine of it and hearing them laugh and chat, apparently.

It's peak summer holiday right now and soon it'll be quieter in the days again. We all know that.

Some of the replies on here are so extreme.

This 100%

I’ve been in education for many, many years, and the parental support of, and excuses for, the child’s selfish, thoughtless behaviour has increased palpably. You would not believe the excuses we hear for some children’s appalling behaviour.
So yes, this permissive parenting is getting worse.

This is why I left teaching. That was 2008 and from what I hear from teacher friends it's worse now.

I'm glad I live in a neighbourhood where there are no children.

I'm glad I live in a neighbourhood where there are no children.

excellent

I have a similar problem with neighbours children but their garden is side on to my house with a small walkway between, my kitchen window look on to the walkway. They have positioned a huge trampoline opposite my kitchen with probably 2m between the window and the trampoline so I have no privacy if the windows open.

They have also taken to kicking their football against their fence and the loud bangs every couple of seconds is so bloody annoying. I can even hear it when I'm indoors.

I'm not sure they are the sorts to stop their kids being annoying as I'm constantly having to throw toys back to them from the walkway and my garden