AIBU - football against fence

[XCTX]

Hi all

Need a quick bit of advice to make sure I'm not just being curmudgeonly!

Recently moved into a new property with a lovely back area and have found out that neighbours to the back kids have a penchant for football, resulting in constant balls against the fence when the weather is remotely nice. I can't explain how loud it is to the point where I hear it in my front room even with doors closed and TV on, during summer holidays it is making WFH impossible.

I've been round before and politely asked them if there was any chance of playing football away from the fence, was told "I have x amount of boys here, the football will hit the fence." - so that was helpful.

The fence itself is absolutely knackered from the constant impact to the point where we can see each into others gardens which I'm really not comfortable with - its only a matter of time before a fence panel comes in and the fence is damaged properly.

When balls come over I do keep them as its the only time i get any peace, when I say I keep them just to be clear they are welcome to come and get them back by knocking on the door but I wont be throwing them over. Not long ago got a head over the fence to say "weve looked through the fence and can see the balls in your back we've been looking for them can you throw them back" (this was an adult not a child) - really not comfortable with my neighbours looking straight into my back!

Added to this we've recently had an addition of a puppy join us who gets the fright of his little life when he's outside enjoying the sun and hears a huge bang, cue a fit of barking and a reluctance to go outside and pee.

I completely understand that kids make noise - as we all do! However this is becoming a bit much, my mind has occasionally wandered to saving some dog ablutions to place on the ball before throwing back next time and saying "oh sorry it landed in his business before i had a chance to bag it up!" but before getting there I want to know..

AIBU to return back round and be slightly firmer in asking the footballs to stay away from the fence - I am not wanting to tell people how to use their own personal gardens but its really impacting multiple areas of my life now

Also - any property experts out there - how do I find out who owns this fence from a boundary POV? No reference in my deeds... If it's me I will be replacing the panels and making it crystal clear any damage from impact will be criminal damage.

I think the OP has become sensitised to the noise.

When you're living close to other people, you need to accept there'll be some noise and inconvenience to you some of the time. My boys constantly played football in the back garden, usually on the trampoline, so balls going over the fence wasn't such an issue. They did stop when they got older and the trampoline went. During lockdown, at the ages of 20 and 22, they were constantly losing cricket balls over the fence. They were thrown back eventually by the grumpy neighbour, but he was the kind of grumpy neighbour we could accuse to his face of being grumpy. Usually over a beer.

How often is it hitting the fence? There's a lad near us who does this but it's intermittent. I get the impression it either hits the fence accidentally sometimes or if he's kicking it at the fence he's told to stop by his parents. It's loud though and it would be pretty annoying if he was out there doing it daily for prolonged periods of time.

YABU so long as they fix the fence if when it breaks.

If it bothers you that much I would just build another fence at your side. Gives more privacy too if you overlap with the gaps in the other fence.

I would add a fence on your side and buy the kids at the bottom a goal net . That way the noise should be less and there should be less wayward balls .

If the fence is the goal I would ask them to put a net goal in front of it. If the balls just hit the fence sometimes in the course of a game I would ignore it.
I once lived in a house at the end of a cul de sac where the kids liked to play football. My house was the goal and often the ball would hit my front bay window and frighten the life out of me. Then I would run out and chase them away.

^this. The kids where I live kick their balls against the cars and front doors and their parents just tell anyone complaining to fuck off. Shared this on a thread once and was told that it’s nicer to see them outside than indoors. Not for me it’s not!

Can’t believe the amount of folks saying you are BU! Yes kids have a right to play and make noise but constantly pounding a football at the fence to the point of damaging it is utterly moronic and unreasonable. YANBU.

I understand OP. I disagree with most posters who say kids should be allowed to play. Yes, but considerately. As we all should be.

Not that I'm saying they do, but If you kick a ball against a wall, that drum drum drum sound, like a barking dog or ..... similar, would drive you nutty in the end.

If it IS yours, surely that’s best. If you can afford it, you could replace it with a chain link or mesh fence or something similar, so you won’t hear the noise as much. You can then put up some ‘normal’ fencing in front of it for privacy if thats another issue.

But if your neighbours kids make so may have noise you can hear it from the other side of your house with all windows shut is that fair? We have some extremely screamy kids out the back. I think listening to kids play in the garden is a nice noise, but hour after hour of literal shrieking and screaming is not. It's driving me mad in the house, let alone in the garden. OP you have my sympathies!

We’ve lost 20 (soft) cricket balls already this summer because our neighbours don’t throw them back. I think they’re miserable but whatever.

why on earth can't they go over at the end of the day and ask for them back? Don't talk to the neighbours? Don't like them? Don't know them?

I would put a sturdy fence up on your side. It will be double thick then and muffle the sound somewhat.

I would also ask if they could not do it before 11am say, as a compromise. And in return start throwing balls back ( if you see them)

Bear in mind we are in August and thats only about 4 weeks away from kids disappearing off to school again during the best part of a day.

Ultimately though you lost me a bit on criminal damage.

I think kids playing football in the garden, and kids using the fence to kick a football against, are two different things.

YWBU to get annoyed with the first, but YWNBU to be annoyed with the second.
If the ball hits the fence by accident sometimes, fine, but from what you describe, they are repeatedly kicking it against the fence as the game. This would drive me bonkers. When my son does it, I tell him to stop. It's loud, annoying, and you can play football without smashing it repeatedly against the fence.

YANBU, because they're kicking it hard enough and enough times to actually damage the fence. Doesn't matter who's fence it is, I wouldn't want my neighbour destroying the fence on one side of my garden, that's ridiculous and un-neighbourly.

I'd ask them again nicely if they'd consider getting a net, and also when they're going to repair the fence. If they don't answer positively, go with your idea of replacing it (if it's yours) and threatening them with criminal damage if they destroy this one - they'd have had a chance if you'd offered them an alternative first, that would make it entirely their own doing.

It's the summer holidays. Kids are usually at school and won't be playing in the garden fir most of the year.

You have zero right to demand a workable environment In a residential home. If you need quiet in order to work go and hire an office space.

Children and their balls have been driven off residential street by the huge rise in car ownership over the past 20 years. They have lost the freedom to play out.

Now the work from home shift means people want silence from gardens as well

Children need to play. Balls hitting a fence is not anti social behaviour particularly given it will on balance be something that happens on a minority of days in the year

In all honesty I would hasten the fences demise. Wait till the neighbours are out for the day and go to 'inspect it' and give it a swift hard pull. If it's your responsibility to replace, take your time. Dont let the kids in the garden to retrieve the ball. Dont answer the door.

If the fence is theirs the financial hit may stop them playing football going forwards.

walk your puppy so he can toilet in the meantime.

I'd be finding out whose fence it is - from the estate agents who handled the sale, or from the deeds, or the solicitor who handled the conveyancing.

If it's your fence - remove it and replace it with a very thick hedge and a fence on your side of the hedge to keep your dog in your garden. Preferably a very prickly hedge such as blackthorn. if your neighbours then want to put their own fence in front of the boundary hedge, that's up to them.

So you keep the balls until they ask for them back in a way you have decided is acceptable.
They can have them on your terms
I'd give them back and say please can you ensure this stops for my puppy's sake and because it's a pain.

We have this issue at the moment, along with making peoples front doors targets to kick at, whilst the parents laugh.

If you say anything you are told that children will be children.

As one of the wfh I can see both sides - yes I understand that my need to work doesn't mean my neighbours should be silent, but excessive, and unnecessary, noise is equally as irritating whether I'm working or not, it pisses me off just as much when I've got a day off!

I don't think knowing the boundary necessarily helps - when the winds blew down a lot of the fences in my street it was established that when the plots were first created there weren't any fences included, so each fence just 'belonged' to whoever had put it up. So I'd go round and try again to ask politely to see if they can reduce the noise and at the same time say you notice the fence is getting a bit bashed, do they know whose responsibility it is to fix?

If it is their fence, I would build another one your side, and then a layer of bushes or whatever inside that - that will mask the noise as much as possible.

If they say it's your fence and your issue to sort, I would completely remove the fence and just plant a load of big trees/bushes there to maintain a boundary. Possibly some sort of chain wire to a certain height so your dog can't get through, but basically nothing that a ball can be bounced off! They can't complain if they've admitted it's your fence to do what you like with!

Noise cancelling headphones are your friend

I like this idea, also the idea above this one so … wait until they’re out, look for a pre-damaged part of the fence and completely knacker it. Now you have a broken fence so you need to find out who’s responsible for it. If it’s them … they might be more careful about kicking stuff against it when they have to pay for the damage. If it’s yours, replace it with a thorny hedge and a fence on your side.

Yep, I’ve had that one too (and “they’re only 8!”). Doesn’t help that there’s a park five minutes away but of course then parents would have to supervise rather than just chucking them outside and making them someone else’s problem.

You have my sympathies.

That would drive me mad OP-my sympathies. I have a rescue dog who is pretty nervous and would bark like crazy if she had to live with a ball thumping continuously against our fence. Then there would two sources of nuisance noise for the neighbourhood. Just take comfort that there will be an end to it when school goes back and the weather turns.

YANBU. I'd keep the balls too. If kids don't have consequences they'll never learn, thanks to the lax parents.