AIBU - football against fence

[XCTX]

Hi all

Need a quick bit of advice to make sure I'm not just being curmudgeonly!

Recently moved into a new property with a lovely back area and have found out that neighbours to the back kids have a penchant for football, resulting in constant balls against the fence when the weather is remotely nice. I can't explain how loud it is to the point where I hear it in my front room even with doors closed and TV on, during summer holidays it is making WFH impossible.

I've been round before and politely asked them if there was any chance of playing football away from the fence, was told "I have x amount of boys here, the football will hit the fence." - so that was helpful.

The fence itself is absolutely knackered from the constant impact to the point where we can see each into others gardens which I'm really not comfortable with - its only a matter of time before a fence panel comes in and the fence is damaged properly.

When balls come over I do keep them as its the only time i get any peace, when I say I keep them just to be clear they are welcome to come and get them back by knocking on the door but I wont be throwing them over. Not long ago got a head over the fence to say "weve looked through the fence and can see the balls in your back we've been looking for them can you throw them back" (this was an adult not a child) - really not comfortable with my neighbours looking straight into my back!

Added to this we've recently had an addition of a puppy join us who gets the fright of his little life when he's outside enjoying the sun and hears a huge bang, cue a fit of barking and a reluctance to go outside and pee.

I completely understand that kids make noise - as we all do! However this is becoming a bit much, my mind has occasionally wandered to saving some dog ablutions to place on the ball before throwing back next time and saying "oh sorry it landed in his business before i had a chance to bag it up!" but before getting there I want to know..

AIBU to return back round and be slightly firmer in asking the footballs to stay away from the fence - I am not wanting to tell people how to use their own personal gardens but its really impacting multiple areas of my life now

Also - any property experts out there - how do I find out who owns this fence from a boundary POV? No reference in my deeds... If it's me I will be replacing the panels and making it crystal clear any damage from impact will be criminal damage.

There is a distinct difference between the ball intermittently hitting the fence and using the fence as a wall to kick against. If they are using it as a back-stop, it’s a legitimate complaint. There are net based alternatives for that activity that are much quieter and save the fence from being destroyed. If it’s just bouncing against the fence from time to time, that happens.

Listening to the noise of a ball thumping off a fence or wall for hours every day would drive me round the bend. It's OK saying people have the right to enjoy their gardens, and the legal phrase is 'quiet enjoyment ', but surely not to the detriment of other people.

We had 4 primary aged kids in our street last week standing screaming, seeing who could scream the loudest . Our neighbour told them to go and do it in their own gardens - evidently their parents were fed up with the noise so had told them to go and play out the front......... .

I feel for you - I have the constant thump of kids playing basketball and it drives me mad!

It's not criminal damage though!

We lived next door to someone who let their son use the fence as a goal. The noise was unreal!
They sold up, the people who moved in had a couple of boys with footballs. The football hit the fence just once and the dad yelled “not at the fence”.
In the 5 years we lived next door to them I can count on one hand the amount of times the ball accidentally hit the fence. So considerate.

Used to drive me bonkers when my old neighbours kids did it. But they used to play a fun game called "who can kick the ball at the fence the hardest". Even up to midnight in the summer (they were all around 8 and under).
Nothing you can do about it unfortunately but I do feel for you and do have some suggestions.
I would definitely invest in some really good noise cancelling headphones for whilst you work. This might not be practical depending on your job but listening to podcasts really focuses my mind away from outside noises.
Replace the fence if you can and if you have the right to. Not sure about the criminal damage bit though so can't help there.
With the pup, it is good for them to get used to loud noises as life is noisy. Try using treats when they do go to the toilet in the garden or for when they stop barking in the garden. Once they're doing it pretty much consistently, offer less treats and more "good girl/boy". Everyone cares for their dogs differently so some may not agree with the above but it's just what worked for me.

I used to be made to feel miserable when the same bunch of kids used to use the side wall of my house to kick their ball against. I usually waited abut 10min before it became so loud and unbearable (scared my pets with every bang) and generally annoying that I'd have to go out and say something. They'd leave for a while and them come back and do exactly the same.

Once they ripped out the broadband cable that ran alongside the wall with their game and legged it before I could come out.

YANBU OP, you have my sympathies, because too many people on here don't aeem to appreciate just how bloody loud a football kicked against a fence or a wall can be, how much damage it causes in the long term. Parents need to teach their children consideration. That doesn't mean silence outside, but anything that causes large amounts of noise (screaming their heads off, loud games like football) over a prolonged time should be curbed in gardens and left for times when they go to the park or a big stretch of field.

Fuck that noise. That would drive me insane. You're totally going to hear your neighbours but the ball on the fence....That is totally unreasonable.
Do you remember back in the day there used to be signs on the side of buildings, especially blocks of flats saying "No Ball Games"? Wasn't that because the noise of a ball hitting a surface totally fucks with people?

I hope that you are able to resolve this.

I part paid for the fence at the back of my property and then the new neighbours teenaged son at the back used to kick a football against it and broke it.

Amazingly the new neighbour replaced it and paid for it themselves without saying anything!!
I notice the son no longer uses it as a goalpost though....

☝️This, 100%.
I genuinely don’t understand people who put their kids’ wishes above neighbourly relations. Negotiate a time for football in the garden, yes, but otherwise take them out somewhere so they can let off steam.
the “where can they go?” bleating is lazy and pathetic - classic learned helplessness. If you have kids, you have to fucking parent them and this means inconveniencing yourself to take them places, teaching them that people are entitled to peace, teaching them that they are not the centre of the universe, and bursting their fucking ball if they play outside the agreed hours.
We’re raising a generation of entitled brats whose parents support their rights above everyone else’s and it’s tragic.

I despair that so many people are trying to place restrictions on other people’s use of housing when the onus is on you to find a quiet place in your house. If you can’t, then go back to your work premises .

But I'm guessing that if you or one of your family members need surgery in the middle of the night, you expect the surgeon to operate on you without being sleep deprived, right?

People should always be mindful of not making too much noise for too long. Lives literally depend on it.

Balls hitting a fence is not anti social behaviour particularly given it will on balance be something that happens on a minority of days in the year

It is if it's damaging someone else's fence!

Hopefully OP's puppy will be big enough to enjoy playing with the balls that come over the fence soon. Such a shame those teeth might puncture the balls!

We’re raising a generation of entitled brats whose parents support their rights above everyone else’s and it’s tragic.

Well, theres are enough grown up entitled brats in government right now to know that there's nothing new happening.

Kids have always made noise and people have always complained about it.

These threads always seem to end up predicting the downfall of society.

*But I'm guessing that if you or one of your family members need surgery in the middle of the night, you expect the surgeon to operate on you without being sleep deprived, right?

People should always be mindful of not making too much noise for too long. Lives literally depend on it.*

🙄

My friend who's a surgeon has the four nosiest kids you ever met. You will literally get your head shot of with a ball round at his.

"My company sold up their offices and mandated a 100%WFH for all staff post pandemic, so unfortunately I have no choice unless I find another job."

How is this your neighbors' problem?

Hopefully the puppy won't bark, the neighbours might complain...

Presumably the same as the ones now WFH and demanding their very important jobs trump a child playing on their garden?

Go find some work space elsewhere then! Not your neighbours problem and of no interest to them.

Hope your puppy doesn't bark!

And how is it my problem that neighbour clearly doesnt want the ball from her own kids aimed at her house so is instead happy for the incessant noise bothering those around her?

Does no-one give a thought to anyone else? The OP is not demanding silence. The incessant thump, thump, thump of a ball against a fence or wall would drive me demented, whether I was working or sitting enjoying my garden with a g&t.

I don't play the radio or music in my garden, we don't have barbecues unless it's a still evening so the smoke doesn't blow into neighbours gardens, we don't have noisy parties, mow the lawn at 8am or 8pm and when the kids were small they weren't allowed to screech and scream in the garden.

And before anybody says it, no, we're not miserable fun sponges, we just give half a thought to other people and how our behaviour affects them.

So how do you plan a BBQ you've invited others too? Just wait until it's a still
Day then invite them? Or invite them and hope for the best?

Odd!

Repeatedly kicking a football against a boundary fence would drive me nuts, that's inconsiderate.
Kids playing football in garden making noise, that's fine.
WFH and your dog are irrelevant really.
Do you know who owns the boundary and fence?
I'd be tempted plant hedging along the boundary to hopefully dampen the sound, maybe something prickly??

Ugh that would drive me absolutely dotty. I have a footballer DS too but I wouldn't let him do that. Hard to see what can be done though really.

My son used to kick the ball against the fence. It drove me potty. We told him to stop repeatedly but he didn't. So far we have planted hedges against the fence, bought rebounders for him to kick against and a sponge ball instead of proper football. He still did it sometimes until the neighbour told him off, then he stopped. It's a really annoying noise and I feel for you that the parents don't care about their neighbours.

I don't play the radio or music in my garden, we don't have barbecues unless it's a still evening so the smoke doesn't blow into neighbours gardens, we don't have noisy parties, mow the lawn at 8am or 8pm and when the kids were small they weren't allowed to screech and scream in the garden.

Do you actually have parties? Or just really quiet parties?

How do you know if the wind is going to be still for a BBQ? Or do you never invite people for a BBQ?

Playing football fine.

But I do think kicking s football repeatedly at a fence for the rebound isn't ok - especially if you don't own the fence.

You can buy toys that are used for this type of play.

Or buy a goal and keep it a foot in front of the fence.

For me it's not the noise - but the wilful damage of property.