to think residential areas and homes are not meant to be offices?

[MossOwl]

Inspired by the thread where the poster whose neighbour had a very important job and was in very important meetings all day and please could she keep her kids out there own garden, outrageous if you ask me!

I think there is a problem with homes and residential areas being turned into offices. My husband also has a very important job with important meetings and I am expected to go about the house not making any noise, I can't hoover or run the washing machine even watching TV is out of bounds. He also complains about neighbours cutting their grass or getting noisy work done to their homes and even the noise of kids playing out. I tell him to go into the office but he hates the 45 min commute and says he prefers working at home at the kitchen table as opposed to going into the office.

Another neighbour has also complained about the noise from their neighbours during the day, during the school holidays, their neighbours have three kids and they have the garden set up with a trampoline, paddling pool and swings which can be noisy but what else are kids supposed to be doing in the summer?

When other neighbours were on holiday they were out in the garden and were playing some music it was kind of loud but they don't play it all year round they were just trying to enjoy a staycation and they got people shouting to keep the noise down as they were working.

I've told my husband that if he wants to keep working from home and not get disturbed then we will have to move to an area with less neighbours where he can have his own office cabin in the garden. During lockdowns and the pandemic we all made the best of it but now office workers do have a choice to go back but many would rather still work at home and expect their families and neighbours to tiptoe around them.

AIBU to think that homes and residential areas are not really suitable to be offices?

I think there is a problem with homes and residential areas being turned into offices. My husband also has a very important job with important meetings and I am expected to go about the house not making any noise, I can't hoover or run the washing machine even watching TV is out of bounds. He also complains about neighbours cutting their grass or getting noisy work done to their homes and even the noise of kids playing out. I tell him to go into the office but he hates the 45 min commute and says he prefers working at home at the kitchen table as opposed to going into the office.

You don't have a problem because homes & residential areas are being used as offices.
You have a problem because your DH is self-important twat who genuinely believes that his wishes are more important than anybody else's.

If people want to be undisturbed they can go and work in the office.

Or buy a house in the middle of nowhere.

I love wfh and fortunately have the space to do it. I am on the front of the house so people in their gardens is no issue. My washer is in another room so I can take the opportunity to pop a load on whenever I need to and it doesn’t disturb me (or DS who is home educated so also ‘wfh’).

It isn’t ideal your DH working in the kitchen if he can’t bear you doing stuff there when he is working. That said, there is nothing stopping you doing a wash in the evening and pegging it out the next morning. What other noisy things do you need to do meaning you are constantly in there while he is working other than making a cuppa or getting some lunch? Surely he is fine with you doing that?

He's really not a knob, but he's capable of knobish behaviour at times.

And you work too, but you get up earlier than he does, wanting to start on chores but are constrained from doing any household stuff that makes a noise in case your lord & master gets woken by it.

And you do all the domestic chores, & as if that's not unfair enough, have to sacrifice your free time in the evenings to fit in the chores that he forbids you from completing in the daytime.

Then he berates you for not being free to pander to spend time with him in those evenings.

He takes over the entire kitchen, refuses to get back to the office even though his superiors are urging him to, & if you have DC I bet he never does a hand's turn with them either.

And yet he's not a knob ...

Here's a clue OP. People who do knobbish things are knobs. You cannot separate the behaviour from the knobbery - that's just sophistry, & desperately selling yourself the notion that you are not living in thrall to a selfish & demanding man.

He does have options doesn't he. Noise-cancelling headphones, working from the office a few days a week. But he'd rather you be inconvenienced. And giving you wounded looks when you suggest some sort of compromise that works better for you - that would make me very cross!

Offices are noisy and distracting. People talking about what they watched on TV last night. Talking about their sick pets. Running their side hustles. Moaning about the IT. Moaning about the systems, processes, management. Taking a call on loud speaker/not putting your headphones in. If he doesn’t think offices are noisy, then he’s the one creating the noise and honestly you need to tell him to get his head out of his arse for your sake and his colleagues.

Both DH and I worked from home during the pandemic, I’ve been on maternity leave but I’ll mostly be working from home when I go back. Life goes on around DH while he works from home, the baby cows, the baby plays, the dogs bark and I don’t tiptoe round him but I am courteous. If he’s on a call and I’m watching something with swearing in, I’ll pause it. I don’t hoover while he’s working but I do put the washing machine on. There have been a handful of calls that both of us have had that are genuinely important and the other tries to keep noise to a minimum during those calls but if noise has happened we’ve apologised and people have understood because we’re working from home.

That said, there is nothing stopping you doing a wash in the evening and pegging it out the next morning.

Oh do buck up @Scarlettpixie. There's nothing stopping OP's H from doing a wash in the evening & pegging it out the next morning either.
Apart from the fact that he's a selfish knobber who expects the entire household to revolve around him, & that his wife must shoulder 100% of the domestic load.

Completely agree. In fact I hate residential properties being used for any business purposes including beauticians, hairdressers, childminding, gyms etc

It increases traffic to the area, more noise, more people around etc

It is a small point but get him to put a virtual screen up, then you can move around in the kitchen and no one will see you.

He's just being a drama llama.

I've written Q4's marketing plan this morning, while my neighbour tractors up and down the field outside, baling hay.

I have my head down, earphones in, it wasn't too difficult. At least no-one was trying to talk to me.

Sorry but your husband is a dick. If his job really is so VERY IMPORTANT then he should be earning enough to buy a big enough house for his needs. Not in a million years would my husband be telling me I couldn't watch tv/cook/do washing because he was working. Dh has been working from home since lockdown 1. I only once had to use the phrase "you work in our home, we don't live in your office" and he piped down. If normal household noise is a problem he has an office he can travel to

I think the chief problem is that people chose their homes for a specific set of criteria that suited their budget and family lifestyle. However, the pandemic has changed the criteria.

e.g. if you bought a house with enough bedrooms for all but none spare and now need an office space, it's just no longer suitable in the way that it was.

But the spiralling costs of houses and other things mean that, for many people, the option to simply choose again and move home is not realistic. So they have to make do instead.

I've wfh for some years so my house was chosen with a room specifically to use as an office/spare room hybrid. There are 2 other adults in the house most days and all the surrounding houses have children. There is noise - but nowhere near as much as I find in an office.

If there is noise outside, I close the window. If there is noise inside, I close the door.

It depends really. I wfh and yes some noise (kids screaming on trampolines, in pools etc) does annoy me but I accept I have to suck it up, as people are entitled to use and enjoy their gardens and homes, and often that involves a 'normal' level of noise.

However, particularly since lockdown, lots of people have completely stopped caring about anyone else other than themselves, and make a completely unnecessary amount of noise - music blaring, dogs barking continuously etc. That annoys me just as much when I'm off as when I'm working, more so usually because at least working I can stick headphones in and block it out, but I don't want to have to wear headphones in my own house 24/7 on the weekend just to get some peace!

So I wouldn't expect people to be silent in their own homes at all times because their neighbours might be working, any more than they should be quiet because neighbours may be sleeping or ill or have a baby or whatever - but I don't think it's too much to ask for people to just be a bit considerate of their noise levels, e.g. play in the pool for an hour, then a break inside for an hour, etc. or fine for kids to call out and giggle while they're playing but, not to shriek. Fine to have music at a low level, unreasonable to have sweary deep bass at top volume for 8 hours. Fine to play football in your garden so that ball might occasionally hit the fences either side, not to use neighbour's fence as the goal so the ball is constantly banging off it.

We’ve worked from home for years (like, 2 decades before the pandemic). Anyone who requires usual household noise is silenced so they can work is a nob.

If you work from home, then it’s up to you to soundproof your space so the usual day to day sounds don’t bleed in to disturb calls. Not tell everyone that they are More Important Than Anyone Else With Their Very Important Job.

Saying that, I had to apologise to a client based in Canada yesterday because Foghorn Leghorn next door was shouting at her 5 poor kids (our soundproofing is rated well above 100dB) but then she is a gobby cow who regularly has screaming matches with her bloke/kids who then just shout louder to match her, so much so the walls shake (not a new build either).

Our office soundproofing is so good I can run a petrol mower under the office window & you can’t hear it, so that’ll give you some idea of how loud Mrs. Foghorn is.

Yes fair point @ KettrickenSmiled.

i was really responding to the OP who seemed to be under the impression that you couldn’t dry washing outside if it was done in the evening.

But yes, if he won’t let you get on with stuff while he is working OP, perhaps he can do it himself in the evenings.

Thank you @Scarlettpixie that was a more gracious response than I likely deserved

However, I now need to take another point to task:
i was really responding to the OP who seemed to be under the impression that you couldn’t dry washing outside if it was done in the evening.
According to Mumsnet Lore, you CANNOT leaving washing hanging outdoors overnight. It leads to sinister stuff like your clothes getting darked on, & - horror of horrors - spiders may rub their willies on it.

Truth!

Its only a problem if you are self entitled and think that YOU are the most important person in the house/street who couldn't possibly be disturbed.

No TV? I would tell my DH to do one if he said that while I was home.

He needs to make a room an office and get headphones.

My neighbour is a Judge and she manages to work from home in a terraced house with lots of people walking straight past her house all day!

It's not so much that residential homes aren't suitable to be offices, it's more that people like your husband aren't suitable to work from home.

Yeah...

I've wfh ever since I moved here in 1995. It's a residential area, of course I expect neighbours to go about their lives including kids, dogs etc.
Theres a clue in the description - it's working from home. Which is also DHs home and was DDs. If I need quiet I shut the office door, and I use a headset for meetings.

Trying to WFH if you don't have a room you can use as an office with a door you can shut isn't likely to work well long term if it's also home to other people.

No, I agree OP, although your husband doesn’t sound great tbh.

I haven’t read the other responses but I imagine they will be insisting the problem is the husband working in a communal area, and of course it sort of is (and being an arse) but generally speaking I don’t think WFH is great. Problem is, the people it isn’t great for are other family members and neighbours. The person WFH loves it so fiercely defends it … Will RTFT now [smile ]

YABU - it's some people who aren't suited to wfh. There's no issue re: admin work from home from an insurance perspective, etc and if you have the space. The people who complain about the noise of ordinary life whilst they're working - and they're always men - should either accept it and shut up or go into the office. Or rent an office somewhere.

I wfh (hybrid) and have no issue with other people using the house as a house, I close the door and wear a headset for meetings, would have to be v unreasonable behaviour to get to the point that it was annoying me.

I also have no issue with reasonable sound outside, and if something like major building works were going on and it was so bad I couldn't concentrate I would move to another area of the house or go in to the office.

Put dh in a soundproof pod
www.busypod.co.uk/

Up to him to make wfh work
Either put up with domestic sounds or make soundproof pod

This is just more attacks on children using their own neighbourhoods to play - now they have to worry about home workers.

When I work in the office - it's a real hubub, lots of people talking on the phone etc / having meetings in small groups

There is no reason with headphones/ insulation etc that anyone should be bothered by a few hours each summer holiday day of kids playing..

Exactly. This isn't a wfh problem, it's an entitled unrealistic twat problem.