To think our attitude towards the elderly is bad in the UK?

[Fifife]

Currently on holiday in Crete, it's my first time here. I can't believe the difference you see the very elderly all the time at the tavernas sitting relaxing with their friends and friends. Playing games together, laughing joking they seem to be very much still involved in society. It's made me sad , the elderly seem to become invisible at home. What could we do to change this ?

You could argue that no generation is treated well in the UK.

You can’t saddle the younger generation with debt just for wanting an education, unable to buy property and leading stressful lives just to pay bills and expect them to have the time or energy to worry about the elderly.

Of course not every pensioner votes Tory but you can’t deny Tory policy is aimed at pensioners to benefit them. The older generation can’t vote to make younger peoples lives harder and expect help back.

No generation has had it ‘easy’ but home ownership is far less accessible now and the older generation are benefiting from affordable housing that has only gone up in value.

I agree with PP you can't generalise.

But the attitude you describe does not only happen in the UK, it's prevalent in other countries too

To be fair even in these different cultures there will also be people who are housebound. We need to be careful about how we romanticise family care, as PP have said it almost always falls on women and there will also be elder abuse and neglect going on within these families. People aren't perfect.

I get what you mean maybe the boomers are a little more selfish than the silent generation That wasn’t what I was saying at all!

I've holidayed in Crete and was surprised how few young locals you see - I guess they've moved for work so there may not be another generation of oldies to sit in the sun together.

If the older generation want to be treated kindly and with respect then they need to do the same to the younger generation.

Yes, we should care for our grandparents and everyone in society. But the older generation have made it incredibly difficult for the younger generation to help them.

Yabu to think there is only one reason. Uk attitudes are very much you don't have children so that they care for you in old age and most don't because that familial or social expectation isn't there. In a lot of cultures, it's a sign of respect and love to take care of your parents when they need it as they did you. Where several generations live together you will see them out with nan or grandad. People move away for uni, for work and don't tend to move back when they have families. There is a bigger emphasis on nuclear families in the UK taking precedence. Only recently did I read a thread about a mil bereaved who's son was going to stay over every weekend for the foreseeable. His wife was not happy with the situation understandably as she wasn't consulted but not one poster suggested they ask mil to come and stay with them for a while till she was in a better headspace.

A simple reason compared to Crete is that depending on where you are on the UK the weather is often more than not wet or cold. If you no longer drive and need to walk to meet friends or get a bus it becomes a less attractive option. If you need to get a taxi it can become an unaffordable option. You've also mentioned you live in a semi rural area so if public transport isn't great or very often then how would older people get about assuming they don't drive?

Keep in mind those old people chose to get up and go to a taverna to meet their friends.

My parents refuse to leave the house. They want to stay indoors and read conspiracy theories. They cut off all their friends years ago. They're utterly miserable and bitter and occasionally the family wonder what to do about them but frankly it's their business, not ours.

I'm sure if older folk want to go and meet friends in a cafe they can do so. But we have less community and less focus on social activity so if they're lonely... eh, I dunno, again it's on them to sort it out really. They're not infants and I'm loathe to infantilise them.

Not sure how this is an attitude towards old people issue

More a cultural issue with how old people see themselves

My MIL is Spanish, and her mother is out all the time. Enjoying the sun, seeing friends, she is 90.

My own grandmother hasn't left the house for weeks as she is afraid to fall

My MILs mother is very much a 'if I fall and die, so be it' person

Always a choice. However it's hardly that simple. Your comment is fairly dismissive. Elderly are often marginalised in society, alienated. Imagine knowing you're not as strong as you were and tire easily, it makes going out hard. Imagine not knowing how to use an ATM or even where to go at the bank to get money out? Imagine having no family to support you and worrying about spending money on an outing. Imagine hearing about crime and knowing you are vulnerable so are scared to leave the house. Imagine suffering from loneliness and it impacting your mental health to the point you can't leave the house. Imagine suffering from aging issues such as hearing loss or dementia and not knowing how capable you are of finding your way to the shops, the bus stop, or having your independence taken from you because you can no longer drive. Imagine being abused as you walk to buy milk by a disrespectful and unruly younger generation. imagine not having the confidence to make new friends in this strange new world. Imagine being scared of Covid to the point you feel it's safer not to leave home. Perhaps try thinking outside your own world.