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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does she *Need to go full time if I don’t *Need her to?

87 replies

Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:05

I’m British but live abroad.
Where I am, compulsory schooling doesn’t start until age 6, pre school is age 3-6 and it’s optional.
Dd is 4 and I’d like to send her part time, I’m a Sahm at present (due to complete masters next year-hopefully!) and Early years & Primary school teacher.
We do lots of activities at home, lots of outings, lots of play dates and playgrounds and so on. Dd can read short words and write a little, I’m not overly concerned about the educational aspect at all. Socially we see lots of friends and play with neighbours.
Would it be weird to send her part time, at least for the first year-say two days per week or would you put her in full time, if you didn’t *Have to?

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:08

Dh thinks she should be in full time, every day from 9-3.30

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abw94 · 09/08/2022 22:10

I think so but that's the British system persuading my opinion, 4 is the right age to get in to a routine of school.

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:14

@abw94 I used to feel the same…now I look back at teaching Reception and Year 1 and feel differently. They’re just so very young, I’d much prefer her to have a couple more years of play based learning and being a child.
When they start formal schooling at age 6 here, it’s much more disciplined and less creative etc..she has these two years to still be a child and be free in so many ways.

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Everydayimhuffling · 09/08/2022 22:15

I wouldn't send her full time if you don't have to. It sounds like she is doing great things with you. It depends a bit if she is going to be really unusual in going part time, though. Do many kids do part time? If almost all do full time, it might affect friendships.

karmakameleon · 09/08/2022 22:15

What do other children do? Will there be enough children her age around to organise play dates? Is there a good choice of suitable activities available? Again based on UK experience but here the assumption is that most children are in preschool of reception at four so not much to do aimed at that age group.

Goldencarp · 09/08/2022 22:16

Not weird at all. My kids never went to pre-school or nursery or anything. They both settled into school well. They’re teenagers now. If we didn’t start until 6 here I would have kept them at home until then.

part time sounds a good idea to me.

Dotcheck · 09/08/2022 22:16

Maybe try it out, but she may start feeling like she’s missing out

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:18

@Everydayimhuffling It varies really, there are some in from a v early age, some being homeschooled, a few part time, but I think most would go daily.

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Needmorelego · 09/08/2022 22:19

She legally doesn't have to start until the term after she turns 5 (terms begin September, January and After Easter). Reception class starts the September after children have turned 4. Depending on when her birthday is she could defer starting until after Christmas (if her birthday is between September - December) or April (if her birthday is between January - Easter) or wait until the next September if she is a summer born. However she may be put in a Year 1 class not Reception.
Schools very rarely let Reception children go part time.
Reception is mostly playing tbh. It's part of school but is similar to what some countries call pre school or kindergarten.

Needmorelego · 09/08/2022 22:20

Sorry - I miss read and thought you were in England.
Ignore what I wrote. It's completely irreverent.
Apologies.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 09/08/2022 22:21

Google flexi schooling. It is completely legal but up to the discretion of the head (and probably the governors will have some input)

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:21

@karmakameleon My thoughts are if she goes a full two days per week, then at weekends we always do meet ups with pals or she plays with her best friend two doors down. I’d take her also to the playground likely a couple of days per week…when we go after 3/4, there’s lots of children and she always makes friends.
In terms of things we’d do on our own-just the beach, shopping, bike rides, garden play, taking the dog for a walk in the woods. We also do a lot of reading, painting/art work, simple maths, baking etc

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Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:23

@Goldencarp What would be your reasons for keeping them at home until 6, if you could?
When I mention doing part time to people, they seem to think it’s crazy or they don’t understand.

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Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:24

@Dotcheck Yes, I mean, if she absolutely loved it and asked to go everyday, she could.

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WillPowerLite · 09/08/2022 22:24

Send her pt, if you prefer. I have taught Y2 and 3 in overseas British schools, so quite a few children start in Y2 with no formal schooling. NT children with supportive parents have usually caught up to their peers by the end of their first school year, and certainly by the end of their second. Able students who start late will surpass their less-able peers who have been in since age 4, and they'll do it fairly quickly.

There is no educational advantage in starting school at 4 over starting at 6 or 7, in my experience.

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:26

@Needmorelego No problem! Yes, here it’s compulsory to attend the September after they turn 6. She’s a summer born too, so has only just turned 4

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Augend23 · 09/08/2022 22:28

I was very tired by going to school full time, but I also tend to think 2 days a week is very little. Presumably it's not formal if she's in a kindergarten setting. I definitely see benefits to sending her part time, but I'd probably go with 3 days a week so she has enough time to bond with the children there and feel part of what's going on?

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:29

@WillPowerLite That’s my experience too, she’s a bright child also and we’ve always done lots at home..I’ve always just gone with what she has wanted to do/been interested in.

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Rodion · 09/08/2022 22:29

I'd start off part time but be open to moving to full time if she ends up wanting to spend more time there with friends and not missing out on anything. Is this a kindergarten class, meaning she'll then move into grade 1 with the same children? I'd definitely start her in some capacity if it is, as it's better to have played with and got to know the kids who will all be startng grade 1 together. I think part time would still be enough to make friends etc though, and the teachers will be able to tell you if it's not enough. Just be open to changing if it seems like the right thing for her further down the line.

Cadot · 09/08/2022 22:30

Are they just doing playing and play-based learning until they're 6? No structured curriculum? If so, I think it's absolutely fine.

However, if they're actually starting a system of phonics or sitting at desks working on handwriting then I think you'd have to be very careful that you were covering everything at home, using the same system, so that she doesn't have gaps compared to the other children.

gogohmm · 09/08/2022 22:30

Many countries start formal schooling later but nearly every child is in full time preschool anyway. Keeping her at home will hinder her settling in at school and she will miss key elements of her education. If you don't want her in formal education home education is an alternative, pick and mix would mean she could miss out

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:31

@Augend23 Yes, she could possibly do three instead of two.

Does anyone else think twice per week isn’t enough? These are full days

Oh and she also has gymnastics lessons twice per week

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Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:33

@gogohmm I will (and already do to some extent) teach her at home also

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OppsUpsSide · 09/08/2022 22:34

Mine all went to nursery minimally, when I was at work they went to GP. I know there is a train of thought that children need to attend nursery for cognitive and social development but I’m not sold on it. And as you must know through work, what a child can achieve academically/socially at 4/5 is not a full indication of their future abilities. There is no reason to think that 2 days a week will be detrimental to her development, and you can up the hours as she nears attending school.

Original poster
Charliesays77 · 09/08/2022 22:36

@Cadot No formal curriculum until age 6, when it really goes up a notch.
It’s play based, music activities, painting and art, play doh. I think they begin very loosely with letter formation, writing names etc (she can do this) but it’s mainly lots of outdoor play and creativity…which is exactly what I want for her.

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