Does she *Need to go full time if I don’t *Need her to?

[Charliesays77]

I’m British but live abroad.
Where I am, compulsory schooling doesn’t start until age 6, pre school is age 3-6 and it’s optional.
Dd is 4 and I’d like to send her part time, I’m a Sahm at present (due to complete masters next year-hopefully!) and Early years & Primary school teacher.
We do lots of activities at home, lots of outings, lots of play dates and playgrounds and so on. Dd can read short words and write a little, I’m not overly concerned about the educational aspect at all. Socially we see lots of friends and play with neighbours.
Would it be weird to send her part time, at least for the first year-say two days per week or would you put her in full time, if you didn’t *Have to?

It wholly depends on your child, where you live and what the curriculum is.

In Denmark they start formal education at 6 but lots of learning takes place in their nursery program. They learn how to communicate, work in a team and their gross physical development is impressive. The parents supplement with academics at home. Our youngest went through it and honestly I wasn’t impressed. She did learn Danish though.

In the US, it depends where you live but generally speaking you can find excellent programs which are a shorter day and very much play based. We did the public school program and it was great. They used tools of the mind which is based on the Russian system. 100% play based and excellent at allowing the child to develop at their own pace. My elder two did this program and it worked. 8:30am - 2:30pm was the full day schedule and that included a nap time for 45mins after lunch. You could pick up your child after lunch if there was an issue, otherwise, as it was government funded, you needed to attend the full day program with less than 10 consecutive days absent in a year. They strongly encouraged any travel as was considered excellent for their development.

I wouldn’t send full time at that age unless I wanted/needed to.

Both our kids went to a preschool program that was 5 days per fortnight. It was perfect for them and for us because we didn’t need full time care at that stage.

3 & 4 year kindy here are both part time 2-3 days a week. I think that works well. First year of school most kids are between 5 & 6. For me if I was at home during the week I wouldn't do more then 3 days.

My DCs went to school in the US where formal kindergarten starts at age 5.

All the local preschool options were two and a half hours a day for four days only. Maybe point out to your parents and British friends that the British expectation of very young children being in school all day, five days a week, with full uniform, is an anomaly.

I agree with your gut feeling that 4 is so young to have children in Reception. Despite the claim that it's play based, there is an expectation that phonics will be tackled, and there are benchmarks to attain.

I would send your DD for 3 consecutive days per week. See how she does on the third day each week for about three weeks.

I have quite an alternative view on schooling. My twins (DS and DD) went to nursery P/T and then attended school F/T until they were 10 and then we locked down for COVID. That was the March of Y5 for them.

They've never returned to school. We discovered they blossomed with home education and the incredible anxiety that DS struggled with every week disappeared. without using up every scrap of his resilience in just making it through school DS had so much more capacity to take on learning and engage in life. DD was similar although her anxiety was so much more masked than DS. We discovered during lockdown that she'd essentially been copying the other pupils a lot of the time and couldn't actually follow/understand instructions on her own.

My two are autistic, DS was in a special school and diagnosed at age 4. DD was diagnosed age 10 which was confirmed during lockdown. Obviously this plays a big part but I think the principles are the same.

My approach has always been that - if needed - you can catch up with academic knowledge but it's much more difficult to mend mental health or to get over anxiety. In other countries formal education doesn't start until age 7, and our infants seem so very tiny and young. I was a school governor for more than five years and at a lovely, lovely school. The head there came from an alternative background and also believed forcing learning and curriculum on very young children wasn't right and that they'd learn so more through play. I very much appreciated his experience and insight into this, and he embedded it as much as possible but OFTSED and the National Curriculum left his hands tied somewhat.

What I'm saying is that it's possible for children to bloom and grow beautifully without going to school at all. Two days sounds like a lovely compromise. And definitely full days; that gives her the experience of a full day at school which is very different to just a morning. You've already said if she wants to go more, you'll accommodate this so I think it's a great balanced approach. Your DD will benefit so much from spending nurturing time with you while she's not completely exhausted from being at school 5 days a week from such a young age.

Just also pointing out no criticism at all for those where 5 days per week is right for their child. Every child is different and that's what I think is important - being able to make choices to create an environment which suits your child. Given what you've said re anxiety and being so young, I think a slow and steady approach would be perfect. And I'm sure the days with you will be absolutely wonderful for her, and she'll learn all sorts of things that stand her in good stead for the future.

Do you speak English with your dd ? What is your home language ? Is she native speaker level in the country language ? Is she truly bilingual or does she still make mistakes / have an accent in one of the languages?

you don’t have to answer those questions here but they are worth considering - if the country language isn’t her home language I think 4 or 5 days at school would be a better choice.

@Charliesays77 I'd do 2/3 days a week maximum

I would do 3 days a week too. I think 2 is a bit unsettling. Then she still has 2 bonus days with you !

My son has been in reception the last year and has loved it. It is very informal and play based but he has also got used to school routines and traditions which he has loved. Year one will be different and much more formal learning. It would have been quite a jump for him to go two days a week in a different setting to full time in school.

@Intothewoodland This is the thing…I have two years until she has to go to formal school and full time.

I think it depends on the other children really .would others be doing the same or would she be going mornings or whatever then missing lunchtime play and afternoon story colouring and so on .they tend to settle quite quickly. Would she still be able to socialise at home if other children are at school

My approach would probably be to work up to full time. I would probably keep her part time for now then aim for her to be doing full time in the play based setting by the end of the year before she goes into the formal learning environment.