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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
Triffid1 · 09/08/2022 15:41

Some people are just batshit. I feel sorry for his partner and DC.

On plus side, you made me laugh, so thanks for that! Grin

KettrickenSmiled · 09/08/2022 15:42

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/08/2022 15:20

I’m sure we can think of an excellent playlist for @Knitwit101, @Boybandfacedfannyfart!

I’d start with Let It Go.

Then Baby Shark.

Maybe Crazy Frog later on.

Superb.

Also - "Too Drunk To Fuck" by the Dead Kennedys should help him seal his next Very Important Contract. Can't fail to impress.

SenecaFallsRedux · 09/08/2022 15:43

Pretty sure some chanter practice is required before school goes back?

Not just the chanter. I think he needs to practice with the entire instrument. We could work on devising a playlist. What tunes work best to herald Very Important Meetings?

Whichwhatnow · 09/08/2022 15:43

Loving the suggestion of loudly joining in with his Very Important meetings - I'm sure his clients will really appreciate your input!

gatehouseoffleet · 09/08/2022 15:44

Well now you'll all think I'm a troll because this part is too good to be true, but we're in Scotland and ds15 does actually play the bagpipes

My parents had family friends in Lockerbie whose granddaughter played bagpipes. She was really good. I could not get a sound of it.

What a shame they are at in school. But as you say, schools go back earlier where you are. I am sure the Very Important Neighbour's clients/colleagues will love hearing them in the background of his calls!

NetWithHoles · 09/08/2022 15:44

Men like this make me see red.

Maybe it's time to get the puppy/cockrel/donkey the kids have been asking for. Donkeys are lovely.

ilovebrie8 · 09/08/2022 15:44

Who the heck does he think he is! get some very loud heavy metal music playing....Highway to Hell full blast ! 😁

Crayfishforyou · 09/08/2022 15:45

he’s a VIT (very important twat)

Genevieva · 09/08/2022 15:45

I think a very big tree would look extremely nice in front of his window so that he can conduct his very important meetings without disturbing you so much.

KettrickenSmiled · 09/08/2022 15:46

When he pompously imparts a particularly grand announcement, I'd shout, "Oh, I wouldn't do that Derek! The interim dividends have yet to be announced!"

@HopeIsNotAStrategy I simply love you for this, have just laughed til my belly ached - really!

Sally872 · 09/08/2022 15:46

If a neighbour I liked asked me extremely nicely and apologetically to take the kids in for an hour for one specialt meeting as a one off I probably would.

To keep them in all day becasuse he is so important - absolutely not! Your response was perfect.

SalviaOfficinalis · 09/08/2022 15:46

You’ve handled it brilliantly OP.

It’s very hot this week, might be worth filling up a big paddling pool and inviting DS’ friends round before the hosepipe bans start.

gatehouseoffleet · 09/08/2022 15:47

Also as you mentioned a lot of what is being said is likely to be highly confidential! God forbid he's broadcasting details of an upcoming listed company acquisition or something

Next time he comes to talk to you, ask him if you should be investing in the shares of the various companies you've heard him talking about (maybe he will then actually realise you can hear him).

hollyivysaurus · 09/08/2022 15:47

You 100% did the right thing! Can you do some trellis in front of his window or something to give you some privacy? He sounds awful.

Mumteedum · 09/08/2022 15:48

Soontobe60 · 09/08/2022 15:21

Last summer, I was doing online tutoring with several primary schools. My neighbours had bought next door but hadn’t yet moved in because they were renovating their house (or the builders were actually). They were working on all 3 floors simultaneously. I had my windows closed, used headphones and did my best to ignore it. I eventually lost it when they decided to open all the windows and have a radio on full blast on the ground floor AND in the loft - on different stations. My students were absolutely amazed at the noise in my house!!!
In between sessions, I went next door and asked if they could turn the radios down. I could accept the sound of plaster being drilled off all the walls, but not Smooth FM plus Radio 1 at full volume. One of the builders - he looked about 10 - told me they needed it loud because they couldn’t hear it over the sound of the drilling and that I’d just have to get used to it ‘love’. My response - ‘unless you want me to report all the building regs breaches your builders are making then you’ll turn the radio off, never turn it back on and, by the way, the photo I have of you urinating in the back garden will go straight on the Trustpilot page your firm has.’
When I went back in, I heard him being told off by another builder, to stop being a total d**khead and to apologise. Which he did. At that point, I reminded him that women who were old enough to be his mother did not generally like being called ‘love’.
I never heard the radio again.

shero 👏👏👏

starfishmummy · 09/08/2022 15:48

KirstenBlest · 09/08/2022 14:57

Get a basketball hoop or trampoline for the DD.

How high can kids bounce on garden trampolines? The boings of the springs and kids giggles accompanied by a face appearing at his window height every few seconds.....

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/08/2022 15:48

You did superbly well and threw his energy straight back at him. Am loving these ideas! It would deffo be a good idea to complain to him about how loud he’s being.

thereisonlyoneofme · 09/08/2022 15:49

Have you got a CD of Bagpipe music by any chance ?

catfunk · 09/08/2022 15:49

Ha I would have laughed in his arrogant face Tbh. Time for a squeaky trampoline.

rarelyontime · 09/08/2022 15:51

As a general rule, I think deliberately making noise when you know people are working from home is twattish behaviour. I live in a block of flats, and anyone who is planning to do renovation work involving drilling is an asshat if they don't tell the neighbours in advance - I mean, if I know, I can plan to go into the office, or reschedule my meetings around the planned works.

However, it doesn't sound like you're making disruptive noise. It's kids talking, maybe laughing. He's choosing to keep his window wide open - more fool him. Not only is it a dumb thing to do for confidentially reasons, but he's bringing any noise from the outdoors in. He's done this to himself.

If the window was shut and your kids kept kicking a football against his wall, I'd agree he has a point. But that's not what's happened. He's chosen to set up office in a stupid location and to keep his window open.

Your neighbour is being an idiot.

balalake · 09/08/2022 15:51

My response would have been to tell him that school holiday times were set in the 1950s, and ask him if 70 years warning to go to an office or other place of confidentiality was not enough.

KettrickenSmiled · 09/08/2022 15:51

SenecaFallsRedux · 09/08/2022 15:43

Pretty sure some chanter practice is required before school goes back?

Not just the chanter. I think he needs to practice with the entire instrument. We could work on devising a playlist. What tunes work best to herald Very Important Meetings?

A rendition of Zadoc The Priest has the kind of Very Important gravitas I think you're aiming at @SenecaFallsRedux. Also a pleasing gradual increase in VOLUME.

thereisonlyoneofme · 09/08/2022 15:52

Sorry should have read the full thread, I see some other sadistic poster has suggested bagpipes 😆

Onthegrid · 09/08/2022 15:52

I love the idea of bagpipe practice!

I have a DC who is a musician and only plays loud brass instruments, strangely though by using headphone and shutting doors between my office space and the music room we can both get on.

Same as when over the road had their roof converted at points during the day I had to close the windows as you can hardly build without making noise. Then I moved my office space, however when I was in the rear bedroom I could hear kids having fun in gardens. I managed and now that the building is done I am back at the front.
But then my job is just normal, not VERY important and I am not a knob.

allboysherebutme · 09/08/2022 15:52

Good for you not giving into him, if he needs to change the room he has as an office so be it. X