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AIBU?

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

5480 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 15:20

I like the idea of bagpipe lessons

Well now you'll all think I'm a troll because this part is too good to be true, but we're in Scotland and ds15 does actually play the bagpipes. But he doesn't play in the house or garden, he just plays the chanter at home and plays his pipes at band practice or at school, he's in a school band. In fact his pipes have been in school all summer holiday.

One time they were practising for a competition and he did have his pipes at home, he had rules about how long he could play and what times, and we warned the neighbours. They are ridiculously loud up close.

The kids are back at school here next week, maybe he could bring them home....

OP posts:
TooHotToTangoToo · 09/08/2022 15:20

Well done op and you are not being unreasonable in the slightest - he however is a knob! Some people just have a lot of confidence and aren't used to people saying no. I've wfh for years and if I've got a 'very important' meeting, I close the windows and doors. I'd never expect my neighbours to not use their garden.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 09/08/2022 15:20

I work from home and am listening to a neighbour's children playing wildly next door. When I have to concentrate or have a meeting I wear headphones.

Yes there should be 'give and take' when it is required but no-one should be trying to deprive children of summer holiday fresh air and play. He can make adustments without much trouble. They can't.

Your neighbour is a proper summer-Scrooge!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/08/2022 15:20

Boybandfacedfannyfart · 09/08/2022 14:49

What type of music do you think would really grate in his nerves and give entirely the wrong impression?

<rifles through CDs>

I have an impressive array of rap and grime for a middle-aged white woman.

I think you handled it brilliantly, I’d have probably felt guilty and shushed the children all afternoon.

I’m sure we can think of an excellent playlist for @Knitwit101, @Boybandfacedfannyfart!

I’d start with Let It Go.

Then Baby Shark.

Maybe Crazy Frog later on.

Soontobe60 · 09/08/2022 15:21

Last summer, I was doing online tutoring with several primary schools. My neighbours had bought next door but hadn’t yet moved in because they were renovating their house (or the builders were actually). They were working on all 3 floors simultaneously. I had my windows closed, used headphones and did my best to ignore it. I eventually lost it when they decided to open all the windows and have a radio on full blast on the ground floor AND in the loft - on different stations. My students were absolutely amazed at the noise in my house!!!
In between sessions, I went next door and asked if they could turn the radios down. I could accept the sound of plaster being drilled off all the walls, but not Smooth FM plus Radio 1 at full volume. One of the builders - he looked about 10 - told me they needed it loud because they couldn’t hear it over the sound of the drilling and that I’d just have to get used to it ‘love’. My response - ‘unless you want me to report all the building regs breaches your builders are making then you’ll turn the radio off, never turn it back on and, by the way, the photo I have of you urinating in the back garden will go straight on the Trustpilot page your firm has.’
When I went back in, I heard him being told off by another builder, to stop being a total d**khead and to apologise. Which he did. At that point, I reminded him that women who were old enough to be his mother did not generally like being called ‘love’.
I never heard the radio again.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/08/2022 15:21

I think it's time OP's children took up an 'improving' musical pastime for the holidays, like playing the recorder. Or yodelling.

SummerWinterSummerWinter · 09/08/2022 15:21

If he has a Very Important Job he should get a Very Important cooling fan so he can keep his window shut. Or make a Very Important commute into a more secure and quiet location.

Entitled idiot!

WeAreTheHeroes · 09/08/2022 15:22

Tabitha005 · 09/08/2022 15:14

I'd be more than happy to pop round and conduct my next Very Important beginner's violin lesson in your garden, OP!

You win!

I can't believe his entitlement, what a jerk.

KettrickenSmiled · 09/08/2022 15:22

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

It's pure entitlement OP. If you'd been socialised as a male, you'd possibly have it too. But all your neighbours would think you were a prick, so ...

Thistooshallpsss · 09/08/2022 15:22

Weren’t actual offices invented for doing official stuff?

Hintofreality · 09/08/2022 15:22

I’m a petty bitch so In retaliation I’d be compiling a Spotify playlist to be blasted out at full volume from my garden. Tracks to include :-
The Neighbours theme tune
Simply The Best
Working 9 to 5
Whatta Man
YMCA

HellonHeels · 09/08/2022 15:22

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 15:20

I like the idea of bagpipe lessons

Well now you'll all think I'm a troll because this part is too good to be true, but we're in Scotland and ds15 does actually play the bagpipes. But he doesn't play in the house or garden, he just plays the chanter at home and plays his pipes at band practice or at school, he's in a school band. In fact his pipes have been in school all summer holiday.

One time they were practising for a competition and he did have his pipes at home, he had rules about how long he could play and what times, and we warned the neighbours. They are ridiculously loud up close.

The kids are back at school here next week, maybe he could bring them home....

Everyone round yours for bagpipe practice then?

Paddleandbail · 09/08/2022 15:22

Mustardbay · 09/08/2022 14:40

I think you need to start some Very Important drum lessons

This really made me chuckle!

Minoloso · 09/08/2022 15:23

I’d take a ‘call’ in the garden on speaker - get someone to phone you and talk as loudly as he is. Do it when he’s on a V Important call

ZekeZeke · 09/08/2022 15:23

You handled it majestically.
Hope your DH has an equally wonderful response (if very important neighbour accosts him)

MercuryOnTheRise · 09/08/2022 15:24

"Gosh if you are such a big shot, why do you live in a humble abode just like ours rather than having room inside for an office or a big enough garden to put a home office a couple of hundred feet from our house".

ScreechingEchoChamber · 09/08/2022 15:24

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/08/2022 15:20

I’m sure we can think of an excellent playlist for @Knitwit101, @Boybandfacedfannyfart!

I’d start with Let It Go.

Then Baby Shark.

Maybe Crazy Frog later on.

Playlist:


Once In A Lifetime. On a loop until you precipitate a mid-life crisis.


GrumpyPanda · 09/08/2022 15:24

If he's handling imporrrrtant megabucks deals day in day out, how come he isn't ensconced in a suitable mansion but living cheek to jowl with neighbours?

Wombat27A · 09/08/2022 15:25

You handled him beautifully.

And yes, let your DH handle it from now on, not because you can't but because it's always pointless, as once they're that much of a twat, there's no point. You do not need to hear such drivel...

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 15:25

Where has he been working for the last two years

I dont know. They have 4 or 5 bedrooms, just one teenager still at home, so he must have been in another room? Fingers crossed he'll find this room too annoying and move back to wherever he used to be.

OP posts:
TokyoTen · 09/08/2022 15:26

He's an absolute dick! I think you need to install a hot tub along with a trampoline and whatever else you can fit in your garden for the kids! Invite them round to enjoy summer - that's what they should be doing because they are kids!

Just for reference I work from home a lot, I also sit next to an open window. I do get kids playing outside but if it gets too noisy I just shut the window and put the fan on. I think kids should be outside playing, they should be with friends enjoying themselves! I'd pre-warn your DH so he can tell him what an absolute arse him and his job are.

TooHotToTangoToo · 09/08/2022 15:26

bit of consideration works both ways. I wish people would think of the other person as well as just themselves. Love thy neighbour and all that. It’s very sad how society is all about the individual now a-days

Your absolutely right @BlackbirdsSinging the op has to listen to his dull meetings whilst trying to enjoy time in her garden and the neighbour has to listen to the op's dc whilst in his meetings. Sounds like only one of those is being considerate.

Fladdermus · 09/08/2022 15:26

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2022 15:06

I nominate @Fladdermus DH for coolest-sounding job.

Coolest sounding maybe but definitely not the coolest. He spends most of his time starring at test tubes, herding students (like herding kittens but less enjoyable) or arguing with the IT department.

Rosesandblossoms · 09/08/2022 15:26

Not safe to leave those bagpipes at school OP. They definitely need to come home.

Also second telling his company he’s talking about confidential info in a public space.

And I suggest no meals are eaten indoors until at least October, even if it requires you to be wearing full fishing gear.

The hot tub is a genius idea. They’re so noisy

InTheCup · 09/08/2022 15:26

Invite a few more kids tomorrow.

I've had two houses being built across the road from me. When I have to have my 'very' important meetings, I get up close the window.

Idiot.

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