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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
DameHelena · 09/08/2022 18:32

Yes, he is arrogant. He just expected you to drop/change everything because presumably in his Very Important Job he has underlings who run around after him.
Fuck him. You handled it very well; firm but fair.

And He was also doing the wfh thing of having a shirt and tie on the top half and what looked like checked pj bottoms on the bottom half so that added to the surrealness of the whole conversation. made me HOOT Grin

Duchess379 · 09/08/2022 18:34

Please please let your kids join a band. And practice in the garden. Guitars, drums, screeching cat on vocals!! 😆

mathanxiety · 09/08/2022 18:38

You were pretty confident yourself.

Well done!

If he's negotiating multi million pound deals with his window wide open you could report him to his company. I'm sure you'll find out where he works if he keeps his window open. This is a massive breach of confidentiality. You could spend a morning taking notes and pick up the phone to your broker...

But I suspect he js a major star of the business world only in his own head and what he's really doing is managing the lettuce supply for the north west region of Aldi.

mathanxiety · 09/08/2022 18:40

Give your kids a book of jokes to read aloud to each other on your patio.

Or a game of monopoly.

mathanxiety · 09/08/2022 18:44

And do your kids not have Very Important Recorder Practice to work on for the school recorder ensemble next year?

youlightupmyday · 09/08/2022 18:45

Jeez. Bloody newspapers. HATE THEM! FTR, I would never have seen it

JinglingHellsBells · 09/08/2022 18:46

I am 99.9% sure that if your husband was the one at home, the neighbour would not have come round and given his speech.

He's bullying you.

DameHelena · 09/08/2022 18:49

mathanxiety · 09/08/2022 18:38

You were pretty confident yourself.

Well done!

If he's negotiating multi million pound deals with his window wide open you could report him to his company. I'm sure you'll find out where he works if he keeps his window open. This is a massive breach of confidentiality. You could spend a morning taking notes and pick up the phone to your broker...

But I suspect he js a major star of the business world only in his own head and what he's really doing is managing the lettuce supply for the north west region of Aldi.

I do hope it's true about the lettuces. Grin

Katypyee · 09/08/2022 18:49

He's probably more of a Daily Mail reader than The Sun if he is such an important person with a very important job.

I understand you not wanting further conflict with your neighbours. As I would just want to co-exist next door to them too.

However, you stood firm, and you said no, and told him you would carry on as usual. So good on you for that.

Shannith · 09/08/2022 18:52

I would be relocating my home office to the table outside. You job is of course a corporate lawyer.

You'll be having meetings about the new confidentiality laws you are analysing, with specific focus on the new challenges imposed by unwise home working practices.

In a Very Important Voice.

whoruntheworldgirls · 09/08/2022 18:52

mrwalkensir · 09/08/2022 14:38

My DH has very important meetings. If it's noisy outside, he closes the window! Maybe you need to start quoting back to him some info from his calls...

Mine too.
Your neighbour is a self entitled twit

TwoMonthsOff · 09/08/2022 18:52

@Knitwit101
understandable
ask for the thread to be taken down

does anyone know if that prevents linking ?

venusandmars · 09/08/2022 18:55

newspaper 'journalists' nothing like a real journalists are fucking lazy &$s!! They stop genuine people from getting support. How pathetic they are.

They have no idea how their lazy cut and paste might imapct on real people.

For Christ's sake JOURNOs do some real work!!! Angry Angry Angry

Hatchibombatar · 09/08/2022 18:58

Initials TS? Because if not then there are two of the twats shudders

cexuwaleozbu · 09/08/2022 18:59

You handled that perfectly. No need for buying trampolines, hottubs or trombones. Just crack on living your life and using your home and garden in reasonable ways. No one is expected to maintain silence for neighbours.

Iamthewombat · 09/08/2022 19:01

He is repeatedly mentioning the names of a few big companies I've heard of, I have no idea if they're merging or not. Surely this can't be real? Surely he wouldn't be shouting all this out his open window if it was real?

You sound pretty smart, OP. The answer is obvious: industrial espionage. Keep listening and taking notes. Then work out who he works for, who their clients are and who their competitors are. Then maybe record the crux of some of your neighbour’s matters on your phone and contact someone who would happily make use of the information. For £££. Spend those on a garden foghorn or something.

Your neighbour could never prove that it was you and anyway, why would he want to? He would have to admit that he was shouting confidential stuff in his garden, trying to sound like Billy big bollocks.

I sat near a similar type on a train from Euston to Manchester one evening. He had had a few and was showing off on his mobile phone. He proceeded to explain, in great detail, his company’s negotiating strategy with one of their clients, for getting maximum £££ from the client. Which I happened to be the newly-appointed deputy FD of. How the commercial director and I laughed when I showed him my detailed notes.

Shannith · 09/08/2022 19:02

Oh and I used to do a lot of M&A work and his butt would have been kicked halfway into the next county if he was bellowing details anywhere.

This stuff is genuinely confidential.

If he comes back I would be all faux concern that

  1. He can't afford headphones
  2. Or air con - energy prices must be so worrying at the moment for some people <<tinkly laugh>>
  3. His colleagues don't know that their Very Important deal details are being broadcast across the neighbourhood
viques · 09/08/2022 19:05

Well, now he has broken the ice with neighbourly chats I think you have to keep it going OP.

Start the day with a nice loud “Coooeeee! Isn’t it a lovely morning, mind you, so warm last night we found it hard to sleep, didn’t you? OH SORRY!!! Didnt realise you were on a call! SORRY to the other people on the call too, didn’t mean to disturb you all. Just going to make a coffee! Do you fancy one mr important neighbour, I can reach across the fence and pop it onto your desk for you. I think we’ve got some hob nobs too. Everyone loves a hobnob don’t they. I’ll get out of your hair now, but if you fancy the coffee later just give me a yoohoo, I ‘ll be right here on my patio so I will be bound to hear you”

Then at various points across the day pop up close to the fence and mouth messages and gesticulate wildly about how sorry you were to disturb him.

Invite friends round and periodically remind them , loudly, “We need to keep the noise down, my neighbour is working from home” .

Zooeyzo · 09/08/2022 19:09

What a plonker! Well done OP.

Tusue · 09/08/2022 19:12

Arrogant idiot, like others have said if he’s loaded he can get air con installed or shut the windows .
kids in their own garden doing their own thing,it’s summer for gods sake that’s where they want to be .
tell him to go forth and multiply etc !!!

Mountainpika · 09/08/2022 19:13

Haven't had time to read it all, but when he next has a Very Important Meeting, go and sit as near as you can, phone to ear, and 'talk' to a friend. Trivial female chat - but listen to what he says and the repeat it on the phone. "Ooh - the chap next door says xyz."
"Hang on a minute - I want to listen to next door to hear what he's got to say about abc"
Loudly so he can hear. After all, you've not got a very good connection so you have to shout to your 'friend'.

TonTonMacoute · 09/08/2022 19:14

Funnily enough DH negotiates multi million pound contracts, he goes and sits somewhere quiet where he won't disturbed when he's on calls. I don't think he's ever said 'the crux of the matter', I'll let him know it's a very important thing to say.

He sometimes raises his voice slightly when people are being dense.

I think you have been perfectly reasonable, I can't imagine why he thought it was okay to ask you.

LouLou198 · 09/08/2022 19:15

I wfh some days and also go to "very important" meetings. If it's noisy outside I shut the window, turn the fan on and plug my headset in. He wants you to keep your dc inside all summer? What a dick!

PriamFarrl · 09/08/2022 19:17

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 18:24

I'm sure it was 6.30pm he said he was finishing. Dh is still out at his very ordinary job then he was going to pop in to see his dad so it will be later before he gets home.

But, in big news, neighbour has shut the window. Or at least got it tilted open rather than wide open. It makes such a difference. I can still hear his voice but can't make out words, it's just a distant rumble. I could live with that. It has been hot here today, there's not much air moving, so maybe he won't usually have the window fully open.

Hopefully he's figured out that if he can hear us then we can hear him. It seems totally bizarre that he would be conducting super important negotiations without considering who can hear him. It sounds like everyone else who is in a similar job is much more careful.

In fairness, ‘if he can hear us then we can hear him’ doesn’t really hold true. I can hear the kid three doors down in her garden right now as she is loud. I doubt she can hear me.

Narwhalsh · 09/08/2022 19:18

He can negotiate a headset from his company I’m sure if he can’t afford to buy one himself

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