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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not accommodate Very Important Neighbour's new home office?

739 replies

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 14:35

We've lived next door to these neighbours for years. Know each other well enough to say hi, put bins out on holiday, but we're not friends. We've been using our garden in the same way for years. No changes on our side, nothing new.

We've come back from holiday to find neighbour has re-organised his home office and he now sits at a massive (open) window right on the boundary between our gardens. That must have been a spare bedroom before maybe, I don't know. We never saw anyone in it.

I sat outside at our patio table this morning to have a coffee and I could hear every word he said through his open window, could hear every word his colleagues said on their online meetings. He might as well have been sitting at the table with me. Not sure there's much I can do about that, he can use his house however he likes.

Ds10 and his pals are sitting outside at the table trading Pokemom cards. There's 4 of them, they are laughing and chatting but they're not shouting or being silly. And it's a sunny afternoon in the school holidays, they can be outside laughing in the garden if they want to be.

Neighbour has just come to the door to ask me if I can take them inside because he has a full afternoon of work meetings and their noise is distracting him.

I said "what, the whole afternoon? You want them to stay indoors all afternoon?"

He said completely straight-faced "I'll be working till 6.30pm"

I laughed and said "well no, that won't be possible".

At this point he said in a very slow, careful, mansplaining voice just in case I couldn't follow him "I don't think you understand. I have a Very Important Job. These are very important meetings. I negotiate multi-million dollar contracts every day, I need to be able to concentrate."

Seriously? I always though he was a bit of a twat but who talks like this? Who actually says "Very Important" like that? Twice? He has no idea what my job is or how important dh or I might be.

I just said "no, we'll carry on using our garden as we always have. Maybe you could close your window when you're needing to concentrate. And just so you're aware, I can hear you and your colleagues when your window is open, I hope you're not saying anything confidential. I must get on, thanks for doing the bins while we were away" then shut the door.

He's gone, I can hear him on his Very Important Meeting. I could join in, I can hear every word on both sides. I suspect he'll be back, probably when dh is back from work so they can talk man to man.

He's unsettled me though, he was so self-confident when he came to the door, so sure that he would get exactly what he wanted. How do you get that kind of confidence? I wish I had it. Or is it arrogance? He made me think I was in the wrong at first.

We love our garden, we use it all the time. I'm not sure how we'll deal with this one, but I wasn't BU by refusing to bring the kids inside, was I? He's the one who has made the change, not us. I don't think wfh is new for him, he was just somewhere else in his house before I guess. Now he's on top of our patio with his big booming voice. I feel quite sad about it, if he's there all day every day it's going to be awful.

OP posts:
whatausername · 09/08/2022 18:06

Tuning in for 18:30 😂 What time does your DH get home, @Knitwit101 ?

WireSkills · 09/08/2022 18:08

SheSaidHummingbird · 09/08/2022 17:16

Next time you see him, casually ask a question regarding some sensitive infomation. If he's been so kind as to move his office closer to the patio, you may as well make a contribution to those Very Important meetings that you're now part of.

"Hey Neighour, did you close on that deal with Company 1? Those terms though, gee, I'd negotiate if I were you. Your boss is right, Mike at Company 2 really is an arse and my husband agrees that he's pushing his luck with those terms. Oh, and could you pass on the message to Barb in Finance that I won't be able to make pilates this week?"

He might decide to shut the window.

I agree with this:

"I heard you discussed Company A the other day... do you think it's a good time to buy shares in them? Is what you're doing going to put the prices up?"

The threat of the thought of being accused of Insider Dealing should scare the shit out of him enough to either move back to where he started, or at least shutting the window.

I'm sure he'll declare "you shouldn't be listening to me" though, because this type of person has no concept of anything other than their own self importance!

AdelaideRo · 09/08/2022 18:09

Well done. Use your garden - what your son was doing sounded very appropriate.

I used to work shifts and was always really appreciative when the neighbours kept their kids off the trampoline when I was on nightshift (it was right under my bedroom window) but the rest of the time it was game on!

Family area = family noise in garden.

DonateBloodNCheckSmokeAlarms · 09/08/2022 18:09

Terrible, OP. You should have made him some fresh lemonade and have your children fan him with palm leaves the entire afternoon.

I really, really hope the Daily Mail picks this one up and he recognises himself (or his colleagues do!!)

user1471538283 · 09/08/2022 18:10

What he does is close his window/door. On the rare occasions I have our french doors open I always close them when I'm on the phon

beechie12 · 09/08/2022 18:10

Not your fault he bought a house that doesn't suit his needs.

user1471538283 · 09/08/2022 18:11

Do not want to hear it. I cant with these entitled people. (Sorry posted too soon!)

WhereTheLightningBugsBlaze · 09/08/2022 18:13

Please come back and tell us what happens when very important man talks the man of your house 😬

AnotherMrsAverage · 09/08/2022 18:13

In my experience there are always code names for company mergers. But if you hear him talk about Batshit Crazy Ltd or whatever you could always ask a question about it to ensure he realises you can hear him. I'm outraged on your behalf - what an a. I'm with you though, just want him to shut up and keep the peace.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/08/2022 18:15

Have you had a look on LinkedIn what he does?

In our last house we had a power cut and it turned out to be a serious issue - lots of workmen and Electricity NW vans. I was stood on path talking to a workman, several workmen down a trench. Prat of neighbour from behind storms over and demands to know why he hadn’t been notified in advance of no power he was wfh and it’s very important. At that moment flames shot up from pavement and workman gave him a look and he scuttled off home.

Jem57 · 09/08/2022 18:19

Where is his wife?

hotfroth · 09/08/2022 18:21

Does anyone in your circle of friends happen to own a talking parrot or mynah bird, and just so happen to need someone to look after it for a couple of days?

Angiemum24 · 09/08/2022 18:21

As long as you don't go past 9ish when you kids are in their screaming faze I see no problems. Kids need to play.

Okaaaay · 09/08/2022 18:22

I’m super glad your were a bit tired and stood up to him. He is being utterly unreasonable, ridiculous and entitled. I deal a lot with men with Very Important Jobs - they are mostly joyless, alcohol-fuelled, selfish pricks (most, not all). Stand your ground - my colleague always says ‘kill with kindness’ - a small on your face whilst you say in your most reasonable voice ‘my children will be making full use of their garden during the summer’

whatfreshheck · 09/08/2022 18:22

You have made "The Sun"OP.

PriamFarrl · 09/08/2022 18:23

Dixiechickonhols · 09/08/2022 18:15

Have you had a look on LinkedIn what he does?

In our last house we had a power cut and it turned out to be a serious issue - lots of workmen and Electricity NW vans. I was stood on path talking to a workman, several workmen down a trench. Prat of neighbour from behind storms over and demands to know why he hadn’t been notified in advance of no power he was wfh and it’s very important. At that moment flames shot up from pavement and workman gave him a look and he scuttled off home.

This reminds me of something that happened in my parents village. Their electricity supply had be dodgy at best for years. Finally the electricity company decided to come round and fix it. They went to every house a few days before and knocked until they got hold of someone. They said that with the work they were doing there was a chance of a power spike that could damage equipment. One person thought like so many here that he was too important to answer the door and didn’t bother reading the notes they had left. They started the work after they had shut off the supply to a couple of houses that neighbours had said were empty. His house was hit by a power spike that destroyed his home cinema that he had just had fitted the week before.

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 18:24

I'm sure it was 6.30pm he said he was finishing. Dh is still out at his very ordinary job then he was going to pop in to see his dad so it will be later before he gets home.

But, in big news, neighbour has shut the window. Or at least got it tilted open rather than wide open. It makes such a difference. I can still hear his voice but can't make out words, it's just a distant rumble. I could live with that. It has been hot here today, there's not much air moving, so maybe he won't usually have the window fully open.

Hopefully he's figured out that if he can hear us then we can hear him. It seems totally bizarre that he would be conducting super important negotiations without considering who can hear him. It sounds like everyone else who is in a similar job is much more careful.

OP posts:
Edinvillian · 09/08/2022 18:25

My husband has Very Important multi million pound meetings while my son and his friends play in the garden, they're also 9 or 10. He closes the patio doors and windows. Granted he's boiling but there's no way he'd stop the kids from playing outside unless they were screaming. At that age, they don't.

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 18:26

Where is his wife?

No idea. Not very interested either.

OP posts:
Blowthemandown · 09/08/2022 18:27

@Knitwit101 it’s his problem. He can wear a headset which will stop him hearing you.

Also, the noise cancelling on MS Teams is bl**dy amazing now - nobody in the my work meeting calls with me can hear my recently retired partner playing music downstairs in the background while I am working and the main problem I have is I can hear his loud music. So I shut the door. I do not tell him to be quiet although he always tells me to ask if I need him to.

I’d be horrified if my ‘very important meetings’ were to disturb you if you were outside relaxing and would shut the window without being asked. And I’ve bought a mobile air con thing as I suffer from the heat and OH loves it.

hope your DH backs you up - maybe call to warn him what you said in advance in case Very important neighbour is waiting to get in first 😳😂

Dixiechickonhols · 09/08/2022 18:28

Good result OP. I bet he won’t come around. sounds like your confidentiality point has hit home and penny dropped of he can hear Pokémon chat you can hear his work.

TwoMonthsOff · 09/08/2022 18:30

If he knocks again answer the door and say ‘OK Gordon Gekko’ and then just laugh in his face

Knitwit101 · 09/08/2022 18:30

You have made "The Sun"OP

You're joking? Well that's one way to solve the issue, if he reads it.

I'm not writing anything else on here then. Sorry everyone. I should have thought of that, I don't want to get the guy identified or in any kind of trouble.

That's really rounded my day off nicely. Not.

OP posts:
Stabbitystabstab · 09/08/2022 18:30

What is it with very important men and booming voices?
It's the aural equivalent of manspreading

Skodacool · 09/08/2022 18:32

DarlingCoffee · 09/08/2022 14:41

What a twat.

Good for you OP for standing up to him.

This. Do not back down. He’s a bully who thinks everyone else should bend to his demands. You took exactly the right attitude.