To think posting pictures of yourself crying is literally a cry for help?

[JeezooosMaryandJoseph]

I want to make it clear that I am not making light of anyone’s mental health issues - and if that’s how this comes across, I apologise in advance. I also apologise if I don’t know the whole story.

To be honest though, I was a little eye-rolley about that woman that recently married Brooklyn Beckham this week when she posted a picture of herself on Instagram showing she was crying. I feel it’s a bit of a slap in the face to anyone who is living in desperate times (poverty being one of the main reasons).

I’m not saying for a second rich people can’t be upset but positing it on a site that thousands/millions of people can access feels a little bit wrong and self absorbed to me. AIBU?

@hattie43 I agree.. what do you think has caused this?? I wonder if it’s failing parenting techniques & social media/being online so much. x

@sjxoxo

I think it’s in part soft parenting. Also there’s an online social media culture for young women/teens that started positively as a way to counteract their lack of confidence that’s turned into something bad and basically made some of them think that whatever neurotic insanity they’re doing has merit and should be catered to.

@sjxoxo

When I worked in MH we would ask each other these questions all the time informally. So over the years I managed to get so many professional peoples opinions, and also the lay persons opinion working in MH and their opinion also just as valid.

I’ve worked in statutory services and also in the charity sector for the two largest national mental health charities. By no means I am no expert absolutely nobody is but the general feeling was that young peoples MH has took a huge nose dive in general because of parenting styles AND their parents poor MH. Double whammy.

The level of “emerging personality disorder” amongst young people currently is really quite astonishing. That’s absolutely not genetic. It’s usually a result of no boundaries and trauma OR no boundaries and a sense of entitlement and specialness that has been placed upon the child from their parents. The former being from more working class kids and the latter more middle class. Clearly that’s a generalisation there but that is quite a normal pattern you see working in the services.

Additionally you have unqualified pastoral staff working within schools who do pander to students “anxiety and depression” . This is not a slight upon them. They do their very best with little training and little direction. The “it’s okay not to be okay” and the attempt to destigmatise MH has totally swung in the other direction whereby you now have young people requesting duvet days when they’re feeling sad.

Perhaps it's my age but I quite regularly see people post things on social media, on public, and think 'Christ you'd have to waterboard that out of me. I'd be taking that to the grave.' But then I'm only mid thirties and some of the people I see doing it are older!

Just as a side note I have two sons who play grassroots football and they are five years apart in age. When my 12 year old was 7 playing tournaments he would get to the final and sometimes win therefore winning a trophy and a medal. Additionally his team would sometimes lose at that age and they would have the hand shake at the end and get on with losing.

Fast forward five years and my now 7 year old reached the final in a tournament. They lost…..except they didn’t? Confused ? Yes I was.

It was decided that BOTH teams won in the final and they would ALL get the medal because it was unfair on 7 year olds to “lose”. I was astonished. All these photos going up on social media about how our team “won”.

My 7 year old son bounced into the car grinning and I kindly told him that he didn’t win at all and that the other team did and that it was rather silly they all got a medal. And you know what, he agreed!! He’s not stupid, even at 7 he KNEW his team did not win. It’s things like that …..

@sjxoxo

I think it's been caused by normalising mental health rather than accepting in reality few people have a clinical diagnosis . The manta we hear is that ' everyone has mental health ' and of course they do but it has promoted the myth that every negative feeling / emotion / thought was your mental health being off key whereas in reality it's perfectly normal to feel sad , unhapoy etc but it's now insidiously crept in as a medical issue rather than just ok your having a bad time. This whole conversation about mental health has meant that if someone says their mental health is suffering nobody but nobody challenges it .
We all know people at work absent for long periods due to their mental health , both of them at my place are under 25. They manage to lead perfectly normal lives away from work though which just gets the back up of their colleagues who have to shoulder the extra workload .
We need to reverse this awful rush to have half our young people unable to cope with the most normal of life situations . They need to be taught resilience and that life does suck somethings it doesn't mean you have to fall apart and ruin the rest of your life and those around you . Parents also need to stop pandering and enable this . If your child is having a bad time give them coping tools not just allow them to carry on living in their bedroom forever .
So much wrong tbh

Definitly attention seeking.

I find it really pathetic. The ones who post crying pics are also the ones who ‘check in’ at A&E or provide live updates of medical appointments or post stupid passive aggressive digs at unnamed ‘haters’ and seek lots of ‘you alright hun? I’ve PM’d you’ responses.

Social media addicted attention seekers.

We need to reverse this awful rush to have half our young people unable to cope with the most normal of life situations . They need to be taught resilience and that life does suck somethings it doesn't mean you have to fall apart and ruin the rest of your life and those around you . Parents also need to stop pandering and enable this . If your child is having a bad time give them coping tools not just allow them to carry on living in their bedroom forever

I agree with this so so so much. It can’t continue. Although I will say that some older people are also jumping on this bandwagon.

i am very relieved to read people agreeing on this thread. I have to say often on Mn I see people saying they have anxiety and I roll my eyes because in no way does the quantity of people saying they have it reflect the reality.

@Giraffesandbottoms

Well I am 33 and I’ve been thinking all this for years.

There seems to be a rise in pathologising normal emotions. You’re anxious about exams? Perfectly normal, it does not mean you need to be treated for anxiety, beyond some helpful tips on managing your normal response to an anxiety inducing situation.
You’re feeling heartbroken that your boy/girlfriend has broken up with you? Perfectly normal response, it does not mean you have depression.
I see it so much in school, and it does young people a massive disservice, because it disempowers them from finding their own coping mechanisms. It creates a massive vicious circle, I feel anxious, I must have anxiety, I have anxiety, so all situations make me anxious.

I don't have anyone like this on any of my feeds.

Some definite food for thought on this thread. I half expected to get flamed for not being overly sensitive about her.

Definitely agree with much of what has been said. I’m actually a teacher (primary) and I worry about the mental health of the kids in my class. I try to be the type of teacher that gives genuine (and regular) praise but I also let children know (nicely) if what they have done isn’t what they’re capable of. I also make sure I keep the parents informed if this is a regular occurrence.

Unfortunately, this often goes against me as some parents don’t want to accept that their child isn’t perfect in every way - and tends to blame, rather than work with me. As I said, this worries me as this is not going to help children develop resilience and live in the big wide world!

I know a young nurse who posted a pic of herself crying during lockdown and bemoaning how exhausted and traumatised she was when in fact she worked normal hours in a fracture clinic and didn’t encounter one single Covid patient.
Pure attention seeking.

Hmmm, I'm not sure. Perhaps the pendulum has swung too much the other way. But it seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Posting emotions online = 'attention seeking'.

Somebody commits suicide = 'I wish they had been able to tell someone and ask for help'.

None of us can know for sure about the struggles of another, and just because one person copes with a situation fine, doesn't mean the next person will.

This.

Lockdown was stressful for a lot of people and NHS staff had more reasons than most to be struggling, even if they weren't on Covid wards.

Meh. Lots of people post cryings pics or videos. You're obviously not her intended audience.

I do disagree with your insinuation that rich people can't struggle or be upset because poverty exists and they're not poor. 🙄 Wealth doesn't stop MH problems, ill health, tragedy, burnout, bereavement, etc.

I also hate posts targetting women on social media. Ezra Miller is on a one-man crime spree. Nickelodeon is in the middle of another abuse expose. If I was going to 'care' about celebrity enough to start a thread, I'd opt for one of those. But then Tattle has never appealed to me.

Fwiw mocking people for crying isn't going to help your 'students' to develop resilience.

I mean I guess there’s a difference between ‘saying something’ and ‘being a celebrity who posts crying selfies for extra attention.’ Say something to your family or a gp. Not people who you are trying to make money off.

Someone on my Facebook has Covid with flu like symptoms. She’ll be fine. But a few days ago she posted a video of herself sobbing saying how hard it is but she needs to be strong for her family and friends and she will fight and she will get through this … !!!! Earlier that morning she’d posted about doing some gardening so she was hardly on death’s door. It actually made me laugh, it was so over the top and ridiculous.

in the case of Beckham’s wife … I’d cry too if I’d married that useless, dopey man-child.

@ReneBumsWombats

Trust me, she’s a total drama queen and was at home for most of the lockdown due to a ‘bad back’.
As I said, just attention seeking.

@AlexandriasWindmill If you read my post carefully, you would see that I stated that I wasn’t saying rich people couldn’t be upset. Of course they can!

I take offence at your comment about me mocking students. I would NEVER do such a thing. And if any of my students cried on social media (not that I would have access to it), I would be concerned about how they are. It’s a completely different situation.

I have a friend who is a bit like this.

I am trying to distance myself little by little. I can't just cut her off as it's complicated.

Sometimes she'll send me a LONG msg about something that has went wrong in her life. I take time and reply. Then click on her social media and she has posted the exact same thing there... it was never about seeking advice from a friend but rather seeking attention from anyone.

Also, she is such a catastrophisisor - she will never need to get something mended, it will always need to be brand new, she can't fall out with her partner, she needs to seek divorce advice, she can't entertain her kid as she worked two days this week instead of one and she's done out.

Argh I'm just annoying myself now.

THIS is exactly what my friend is like