To think posting pictures of yourself crying is literally a cry for help?

[JeezooosMaryandJoseph]

I want to make it clear that I am not making light of anyone’s mental health issues - and if that’s how this comes across, I apologise in advance. I also apologise if I don’t know the whole story.

To be honest though, I was a little eye-rolley about that woman that recently married Brooklyn Beckham this week when she posted a picture of herself on Instagram showing she was crying. I feel it’s a bit of a slap in the face to anyone who is living in desperate times (poverty being one of the main reasons).

I’m not saying for a second rich people can’t be upset but positing it on a site that thousands/millions of people can access feels a little bit wrong and self absorbed to me. AIBU?

Posting it on social media does suggest a touch of dramatics…

We live in a time where someone being anxious = Anxiety. Someone feeling depressed = Depression. And so on and so forth. It’s absurd and it trivialises people who are actually struggling with their mental health. It’s all extremely self indulgent and I am sick of it. People basically have too much/things are too easy so they have to find problems.

It’s a cry for attention. I don’t know anyone who has taken a photo of themselves crying. It’s weird. Then to post it online. Even more weird.

Yep, as an over emotional crier I could never imagine taking a photo of myself when I feel so low never mind posting it. Cannot stand attention seekers.

Had she been flicking through that photography book he did?

Omg, and she's lying on satin sheets.

I don’t know if that’s true, I think it’s largely because the mediums available to us have changed. Young(er than me!) people are more likely to turn to social media than write in an angst filled diary they keep hidden away.

Am I the only one who can't find this picture?!..

OK, I'd never post a picture or video of myself crying.

However, a few of times as a teenager, I got upset in public (I had traumatic teenage years with insomnia, anxiety etc) and cried in public. I just couldn't help myself and no matter what anyone tried to do to get me to stop, I couldn't. Later on in my life, if I got upset, I tried really hard not to cry in public, or to go for a walk, coffee or anything else.

@PeloAddict Yes, I agree. Big stuff - fine, have at it, can get through this perfectly well and support a multitude of other people along the way. Small stuff - might have a weep. My dog's paw is sore right now so he's limping and I can't bear it! (Though practicality kicked in and he's off to the vet).

Ah - I feel a bit better now (not so much like it these days!) - as I think I was an over emotional crier when younger. I mean there's nothing wrong with crying to be fair, far better doing that rather than holding it all in and getting upset and stressed.

You should have posted your original “posting pictures of yourself crying is self absorbed”. It’s just too poor me isn’t it?

Ridiculous.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns nothing wrong with a good blub! Sometimes it leaks out and you're powerless to stop it! It's the blubbing selfies 🙄

Very true. Back in the early to mid 80s when I first suffered with anxiety/depression I had no idea what it was (actually severe PMS/T and also bad reactions to puberty/hormone changes) and no doctors really knew much about it. So stuffed me full of Valium, sleeping pills etc - but luckily only for short periods as my DM got me off them.

Really irritates me by how much people (and even friends) say they have anxiety and they've got no idea of what anxiety really is.

@Giraffesandbottoms

Your post sums up the reason why I left the mental health sector. The trivialised indulgence was too much to bare in the end and it felt like that portion of society was louder than the people who genuinely needed help. I couldn’t stick it any longer and I wasn’t alone. Many have left now for similar reasons.

@Dalaidramailama

I am not surprised. I basically think that if people lived in another time, they (the people who are, in my opinion, basically “faking it”, not the probably quite small percentage of people with actual illnesses) would be getting their shit together and going to work because otherwise they would die. Not lolling around with “anxiety” and “mental health issues”.

As with others areas, language has been used in general terms and is often conflated now that we have more specific language for certain conditions. Some people do it innocently, some do it for personal or political gain.

As a PP said up thread, anxious (normal), anxiety (crippling); feeling down (normal), depression (crippling); etc.

I'm not sure there's any time I've been sobby sad where I've thought I know, I'll record this and post it on to SM. I just don't get the thought process.

Loads of people can't help crying in public - that's normal. Not everyone can stop themselves and I would never think someone crying in public was looking for attention. On the rare occasions I've seen someone crying on a train or in the loos at a pub or something, I've always asked if they were OK because they're clearly upset and might need help.

Posting a picture to make more people aware of the fact you were crying is, I think, very different from that. It's attention-seeking, definitely, and I find it irritating. There are better ways to discuss mental health.

However, ultimately it's not a crime to seek attention and people can post what they want on their own social media for whatever reason they like.

If people choose to follow her or read about her, they're buying into it and lapping it up even if it's a hate-follow situation.

I wouldn't follow the type of person who posts pictures of their crying face; it's not my bag at all. But I don't personally feel that the fact that normal people are struggling and she's a billionaire has any relevance - for me that's just getting into whataboutery territory.

You've made me feel so much better about how I was as a teenager! (and when I went through a particularly bad break up at 30, ended up on Prozac etc!). I used to feel like I wasn't normal!

I had some teenagers/children laughing at me if I cried in the street when I was a teenager but I really couldn't help it if I got upset, dratted hormones! I can look back and laugh about it now but if I saw a teenage girl (or other person) crying in the street (don't really see it), if I have time, I sometimes stop to see if they're ok, need tissues etc. One day, it was after work, and there was a young woman crying on the train when I sat down next to her. I asked if she was ok and offered her a clean tissue and did she want a chat? She sat a bit upset but after about 5 minutes told me she'd had a really bad time that day, had been disciplined at work, her boyfriend had dumped her the day before and I sat and listened and let her talk until I got off.

I come from a time (and I'm not that old, only 50!) where I could take the odd day off for mental health issues and depression but generally it was, come in, deal with things and that was that.

One time I'd dumped a boyfriend I'd been with for 2 years, he'd left me an emotional wreck and I couldn't cope at work, even though I dumped him I was still upset and crying lots, couldn't stop. But I got Prozac from the doctor, got counselling for after work and went to work and got on with things, as you do!

Exactly!

I won't "godwin" the thread and say "but people in Ukraine/Ethiopia would roll their eyes if they saw this self indulgence".
But really.
People in Peru or Mexico or Romania etc etc (i.e. not the first world) would laugh at these people and their "anxiety" / "depression" etc. Because they have actual problems and they get on with solving them as much as they can.

We live in a time where someone being anxious = Anxiety. Someone feeling depressed = Depression. And so on and so forth. It’s absurd and it trivialises people who are actually struggling with their mental health. It’s all extremely self indulgent and I am sick of it. People basically have too much/things are too easy so they have to find problems

Yes, this. I’ve been a people manager for decades but millennials have broken my will to live.

sad =/= depressed
having more than one task =/= stress
a realistic hard deadline =/= an unreasonable imposition on your work/life balance

I saw the post and rolled my eyes into orbit tbh.

It makes me cringe hard and I cry a lot.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

Sounds like you were of the era where people at least attempted to take responsibility for their mental health as opposed to this god awful self indulgence that is currently permeating throughout society.

My Nan was a diagnosed schizophrenic with repeated hospital admissions. Always interspersed with periods where she was well, but very much sticking to healthy habits in order to stay well. (A good routine, lots of sleep, making time for her religion which was important to her etc etc). At no point did she grotesquely attention seek like many do today because they’re simply feeling a bit down in the dumps.