WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

DD is nearly three and loves The Wiggles, which we only discovered as we YouTubed a sea shanty to show her after she got keen on pirates and they’d done a version. Watching her learn dance moves and sing along to some of their songs (like a Polynesian folk tune or counting to ten in Arabic) that she would never otherwise be exposed to can only be good for her in my view.

Cocomelon is shit but thankfully she’s seems to have grown out of it with no ill effects. Bluey however is amazing- watch Sleepytime Or Baby Race and come back and tell me it’s dross.

We certainly don’t buy piles of character stuff for her, but when she’s refusing to put on jammies and I say, “ok, choose between peppa pig ones or these (unbranded) ones”, she’s got her arse in pj’s in two minutes rather than having a mega tantrum immediately before bed.

I think it’s important to remember that they’re individuals with their own wants, preferences and interests. So long as they’re not watching telly all day, every day, what harm do you think it’ll do to let them have that little degree of agency?

OP, you can watch what you want and wear what you want. I don't buy branded clothing as I think it is a waste of money, paying 4 times the price for something just because it has a certain label on it, but each to their own if they can afford it.

We love Disney and Harry Potter and other things, but avoided certain programmes like Spongebob.

DD didn't have her first kindle until she was around 7. You are the one in control so you can decide what happens.

This. I hate peppa pig, I think she's a spoilt little brat, DS has never seen it however his Christmas present from nursery was a peppa pig book, his bath toy his aunt got him for his birthday is a peppa pig toy. He reads and knows this stuff from nursery.
Would you confiscate gifts given to your child for example by ''santa" or a nursery worker or family member if they happened to be related to one of these shows?
Also at 2 I probably could get away with losing this stuff if I really cared but as they age and become more aware of their own belongings are you really willing to be the bad guy in confiscating gifts?

I wanted to do this. it fell through.
my parents attempted this too. we weren't allowed Internet until we'll after all of my peers. Popular TV shows were a no. We only watched Disney videos etc.
I was fine in primary school but was ostracised in secondary. That was a tough 5 years and as a result I don't have many friends now and none from school. I didn't have a single friend (except a few pity friends) in the whole of secondary school because I had nothing in common with anyone and couldn't relate to them. it made me wierd and my parents relented.

As my sister says ‘I was a brilliant parent until I actually had my own children’

all the best with your imaginary children today.

Is it just American and Australian shows you have a problem with? Seems a bit xenophobic? We read books and watch things from all over the world and I don’t really see a problem with it, I like exposing my child to other countries and cultures and we tend to holiday as much as we can. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was one of my favourite films as a child and I definitely plan on watching that with my children when they’re old enough to appreciate it. I don’t really believe in placing blanket bans on things (unless obviously harmful like playing with knives etc.), everything in moderation works well for us, but ultimately it’s your hypothetical child - so you can parent how you want!

I think there's two things here. The first is that being a parent is hard. It's also only one part of your life, which you're often trying to balance with other parts such as working and chores. And if you have more than one DC, you're trying to balance those DC - there are many toddlers who had hardly any screen time until their mothers were heavily pregnant/ had to care for a newborn and then it went through the roof. So often you compromise and things like Disney and Peppa seem OK at that point. I find Disney good for getting older preschoolers to watch an actual film, rather than just an episode of something.

The other thing is that your children are not mini-mes. They will form preferences and unfortunately those preferences will sometimes be different to your preferences. They will also be influenced early on by what their peers like and have. And while you don't always need to indulge their preference and give them what they want as opposed to what you would like them to have, it's nice for children to have some element of agency and personal choice in their lives.

I’ve said it before. People really do overthink parenting to the nth degree these days. Find the joy in it! Stop tying yourselves up in your own arbitrary rules and guidelines because it makes fook all difference anyway.

What have you got against The Wiggles OP?!

We watched Disney films with DD but she barely watched any twice as she preferred other stuff. Just watching the films doesn't have to equal a 'Disney childhood'.

But of course it's perfectly possible to have children without any of these particular programmes. They are your hypothetical children.

I don't see how it will have the positive impact you're hoping for. Maybe for the first couple of years but eventually they're bound to want to share interests with peers. If they genuinely develop a love for 1920's Swing music and 1970's sitcoms then good for them but just let them like what they like if it's age appropriate.

Ah yes, I remember those days well.

I also remember (before PFB was born) saying I wasn't too into routine around baby, and baby would have to fit in with our lives 🤪

There would be no tv, no computers, no chocolate....

Oh those were the days, when we were perfect parents.

The rule in our house is that my son can only watch what mummy can tolerate 😂For example, I loathe In the Night Garden and Peppa Pig so my son has never seen them but I could watch Sarah and Duck forever <3

Your kids will suffer for your actions.

However, you won’t be able to stick to it once you actually have them so thankfully they won’t.

OP - it seems a bit much. My DS is 6 now so obviously has some choice in what he wears or watches.plus people will buy things for the children

And - I feel like despite being 42, I NEED to watch the Wiggles

Geez, first rule of not having kids is never comment on kids to parents. Even then, from listening to parents, there are easy kids & difficult kids.

Tho DSis isn't slow to tell me what to do with my dogs. I thought my in-laws were batty with their dog until I got my own...

I was like this. My kids loved their real wooden very expensive toys. All untill my last child who only likes Finding Nemo and fucking Cocomelon. You have to parent the kids you have not the kids you want. Even if it means painfully going back on some of your principles.

I was the best parent ever before having children, was anyone else?

dont ban your kids from following fashions etc. My parents did that thinking they were creating a wholesome tribe of kids like something from the sound of music. I resent them for it and always felt so embarrassed at not fitting in.

I think my 10 month old rather enjoys hearing me belt out colours of the wind 🤣 in all seriousness your baby your choice however there is a reason it's aimed at children and I do think it's fairly unavoidable.

I sympathise as I felt the same, and I would say you'll do fine until they go to nursery. My DC came home from nursery with an encyclopaedic knowledge of The Avengers aged 3, despite us NEVER having exposed them to any of the characters. However, I don't think either of them have a clue about who the Wiggles or Cocolemon are, so... I dunno, it's possible to a point, but you do have to be realistic about the fact that they will be exposed to these brands and characters through play with other kids.

I think you're being unreasonable, not about clothes but about the cultural content that they are exposed to. I am in my 30s, but was never allowed to watch TV or have access to much popular culture or music or anything like that growing up. I feel it caused some damage at school and friendship groups when I just couldn't relate on common reference points in the cultural zeitgeist and just making chit chat. It's like I had a big hole in my childhood and I always struggle in those conversations now about reminiscing about growing up as I had little cultural exposure. So no, I think you need to expose them to a bit of everything in moderation to not set them back in life, honestly

OP I like your thinking and approach to raising DC.

in theory…

I also thought we would have no plastic tact,
no processed food,
no you tube,
no devices at the table,
no back chatting children,
dc that slept through the night
dc and who would eat what ever was put in front of them,
dc that would never tantrum,
I would never swear in front of or at the dc…

you get the idea right?

thing is, people are beautifully flawed, we all are.
this includes you, and will include your DC.

Do yourself a favour and write down all your ideas and then see what happens.

Re: the Wiggles - got an adult brother with intellectual disability who's been fixated on them for most of his life. So it's been nothing but Wiggles for the past 20-odd years with him.

I am Aussie - I recognise most of this site is UK based yes? It's just the way American consumerism seems to be targeting people younger and younger and it's something I'm personally against, and in EC profession nowadays we're being encouraged to avoid commercialised stuff with the little ones when they're in our care, so maybe that's impacted my views a bit too.

You can do what you want to do OP, just bear in mind your children will be their own people with their own preferences.

I was once the perfect parent. Then I had children.

Unless I’ve misunderstood I’ve done what the OP is proposing with very little thought or difficulty. They just watched CBeebies when they were small and now watch a handful of other cartoons on Netflix. They have never worn merchandised clothes and never clamoured for it. I’m not sure it’s that controversial tbh

I’m with you on the branded clothing. My kids don’t wear or ask for branded items…. Yet. They are six and eight.