WIBU to not allow popular kids characters/music in the house?

[Elilanna]

No kids yet, but I'm hoping to have them in the near-ish future, work in the early childhood sector and have a young niece and nephew so I'm quite aware of what's popular with the little ones these days, but I'm personally not a fan and would rather not expose my own children to any of that media, at least not when they're very small - but I've heard a lot of criticism of this approach, that "only crunchy hippie mums do that!" and "it's part of our culture, you're depriving them of an important part of childhood!" Specifically I'd be avoiding Disney, Cocomelon, and the Wiggles, and even things I don't mind wouldn't be on baby's clothes & other belongings as I don't believe in turning your child into free advertising for a popular brand. I'm otherwise not very "hippie" or "crunchy", this is just the one thing where I'd like to limit their exposure.

So... tell me I'm not the only one who wants to do this?

Wow you sound a barrel of laughs…you do understand that kids have their own interests & opinions as well and while it’s easy to control fictitious children the reality is much different. You don’t have to like the same stuff as your children but don’t deprive them just because it’s your preference

Please, please, come back and tell us how you get on after you've actually had kids.

Always easy to say what you will do , the reality is often very different
Leg kids be kids

DD is 5. We have never had peppa pig or basically most kids tv with, imo, annoying characters and songs. We watch Disney because I don’t mind it. Anything ‘new’ I always get. I’m happy with alpha blocks and number blocks for the educational value.
I have also avoided most American stuff, bar the odd Disney film. It’s never been an issue and I don’t feel like she’s missed out.
Disney was on from about 2.5-3 years. Prior to that it was purely animal documentaries pretty much.

Do what is best for you and yours (when they come along).

I used to think this way. I even got kind of far along with it with my first….everything was very tasteful and wholesome with him, at least for awhile.

He’s 15 now and I have two others. The youngest is 7 and he could be a walking billboard for cartoons for all I care, as long as what he’s wearing is clean-ish.

Kids are people too, and they like what they like. Most of them seem to like bright colors and annoying characters…after awhile it just seemed weird to foist my own aesthetic onto them instead of letting them wear and play with what they actually preferred, as long as it’s not harmful.

But of course we all have a different idea of what “harmful” means, and you’ll have to find the best balance for your own children.

There’s nothing wrong with trying to raise your kids the best way you can. I think we’d all like to wrap them up in cotton wool and not let the world destroy their innocence. Do your best, and you won’t go far wrong. Just remember that life doesn’t always work out the way that we plan. Life “happens” to us all. If your plans don’t work out quite like you hoped, it’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Amd while you’re at it, don’t criticise your friends/ family, for not living up to the high standards that you aspire to. They all had their own plans and reasons why those ideas might have changed over the years.

🤣🤣🤣 love it 🙌

While in an ideal world it would be lovely to keep them away from certain things, in reality you will, once they get a little older, be hindering them from making friendships as they will have absolutely nothing in common with other children who are talking about the latest movie, video game or viral title dance theyve been watching.

Also, as tacky and horrendous as character clothing is, 99% of kids love them, so although you are not keen, it's more about letting your child have their own personality, opinion and choices as such. There needs to be constant communication... if my 8 year old walked into a shop and picked a tshirt that had something inappropriate written on it, of course I would explain that it's not suitable because XYZ but to an extent you need to let them be themselves and make poor choices and bad decisions as that's how we all learn in life

Good luck, keep your thoughts and try them out and also try to be realistic and a little bit flexible as the years go on. 😊

I empathise with this viewpoint and also hate my children watching things that I consider ‘trashy’ but if they don’t get stuff like Disney at home they’ll be exposed to it at their friends’ houses, in shops, TV advertising, their friends’ clothes etc. and they’ll grow up with an unhealthy longing for the forbidden fruit - mine are 9 and 10 and got bored of Disney really quickly, but my DD went to so many Frozen-themed parties at the time it would have been unusual and unreasonable not to let her watch it.
I’ve also known older teenagers go off the rails later if their parents keep mainstream things/experiences away from them when they’re younger. Unless you think it’s harmful I’d let them watch Disney etc. in moderation but you can always let them know you think it’s trashy and that will influence them while they’re little too. You can wait for them to ask for it rather than introduce them to it. When they’re tiny you get to decide what to expose them to, but once they’ve got peers it really helps them fit in.

You're not being unreasonable. I completely agree that most of it is utter shite and wish I had the time and energy to not let them watch any telly at all but unfortunately it's very hard to maintain. Go in with all the best intentions and I'm sure that you'll pull some of it off - but don't beat yourself up when you don't. My 5 year old asked me if he could have a minecraft cap, t-shirt and shorts the other day and I just said "yeah sure!" 😂I used to be quite snobby about kids wearing these branded kind of (still think they're hideous) clothes but if he's happy, I'm happy!

My mum refused to let me have any kind of Sindy/Barbie doll when I was a kid. And back then (the 60s) there wasn't remotely the variety of toys that kids have now. And kids didn't have multiple dolls to share as they are more expensive than now, and consumerism hadn't caught hold yet.

So there I was, whenever I was with my friends, having to sit and watch while they played. All because my mum thought Sindys were 'common'.

You are thinking of your future dc as dolls rather than as independent separate people. They will have their own preferences and opinions.

You can control their actions, while they are little, but you won't be able to stop them liking what they like.

We didn't have disney princess stuff when our dc were little, as I didn't love the representation of women. I backtracked pretty quickly when dd1 started preschool and couldn't join in games with her peers. What you are suggesting means likely denying your dc the chance to engage with the media they like and also will mean they miss out on common experiences with peers. Is your preference really more important?

We didn't have a TV but when DC were small, but we listened to a LOT of Wiggles and saw them live in concert so no one missed out 😂

I'd say more that you're wanting your future kids to be mini versions of your(adult) self.

They won't be. Any children you have will arrive in this world as their own selves. My daughters have aspects of my personality, and some shared interests/skills/ attitudes. But only a few. they are not me, and they could barely be more different from each other.

You cannot exercise the amount of control over your children that you seem to want. And even if you do, they're STILL not going to be this perfect version of yourself/whoever you want them to be.

So yes, you would be unreasonable to deprive them of mainstream age appropriate TV/clothing/toys. They will respond to what suits their inbuilt natures and be the people that they're intended to be.

Mine just play with beige food instead

In an ideal world all kids would be playing with beige, faceless wooden pegs

That sounds a bit grim if I'm honest, I'm not convinced this is an optimal approach, even if it was possible to pull off.

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate the wiggles
Never let my dc watch them
Never ever.

They never watched cocomelon. But Disney is great. They had no screen time until the age of 2 though
Which some people frown upon
But I dont give a poop, my kids:my rules.

Same goes for your feature kids.

In an ideal world all kids would be playing with beige, faceless wooden pegs

Why is that ideal? Imagination requires inspiration.

I said my children would never watch Peppa Pig, Bing or In the Night Garden.

So far I have 1 boy who is 3.5years and he doesn’t know any of these exist 🙌🏼 So it IS possible.

He has been allowed free reign over everything else so is a big fan of Paw Patrol and Spidey. He also went through a phase of loving Cocomelon and Blippi.

Any Peppa Pig gifts has always been regifted only successfully and I will continue to do so 🫢

I thought Bing was so lovely. Sweet and gentle. Oh fond memories of my girl curled up on my lap watching this with her.

I am a mother of two, with the youngest being 13 years old. I am pregnant again and I am with you OP! I want to seriously limit media in my baby's life. I've been through it and now have the experience to know how much media influences children. In my experience, it has been for the worse.

Call me crusty all you like, the "culture" out there now is NOT like when my eldest was little (15 years ago) and certainly not like when I was little!

That’s just selfishness and storing up trouble. Children need to experience the world and children’s culture as it is, not as adults would ideally wish it to be. If you restrict this too much your children will be out of touch with their peers and less a able to fit in. that is a breeding ground for a lot of problems.

it astonishes me that people either don’t understand that or don’t care because imposition of their will is more important to them and the wellbeing of their children.

What adverse effects from media are you thinking of and how will preventing your preschooler from watching popular shows for preschoolers prevent them?

They're so innocent before they have kids. Your pretensions will fade away very quickly!

Spot on. Don't make your child an outsider on some phoney baloney, pretentious alter.